You might be a fred...

[Roland Rat]

Has anyone said hairy legs and non-cycling specific wool socks yet? These tend to coincide with the SPD-sandals though.

 

[Archibald]

... if you race to catch up to people at traffic lights and then slipstream them for as long as you can without saying a word and without ever thinking of taking a pull in the wind, you might be a Fred ...

I love doing something like this to the commuters with the expensive road bikes in all their lycra team kits, and quietly sit on their wheel while they bust their ar$es to ride at 30kmh... surely that doesn't make me a Fred...

 

[bobs nob]

14. If you leave the plastic peak on your helmet you might be a Fred
15. If you have a DayGlo flag flying you might be a Fred
16. If you wear underwear under your knicks you might be a Fred
17. If you are playing music out loud from your MP3 player which is strapped to the bars (yes I have ridden with such an animal on a tour) you ARE a Fred!

Incidentally he also wore tube socks, wore a helmet mirror and had aero bars fitted to his MTB....best in class!

Perhaps I should just submit a photo of me on my road bike and then you can just place a brief description with lines pointing to the various points of the Fred Catalog that I have touched.

Topeak Road morph frame pump. CHECK
Bar End Mirror. CHECK
Attachment from bars to hold more bar mounted gadgetry. CHECK
Gigantic expandable Seat bag and Top tube Bag. CHECK
CatEye tld1000 blinkie visible from space. CHECK
BLINKIE attached to gigantic expandable seatbag with a piece of white plastic plumbing conduit. CHEEECKKK !!!!
Gut making it impossible to achieve aero position. CHECK
Reversible platform /SPD pedals. CHECK

 

[**Uru**]

If all you have to say are negative comments about everything, then you are Fred.

 

[RDV4ROUBAIX]

If you've accumulated more than 5 thousand posts on a cycling forum,.. you just might be a fred.

 

[kiwirider]

I love doing something like this to the commuters with the expensive road bikes in all their lycra team kits, and quietly sit on their wheel while they bust their ar$es to ride at 30kmh... surely that doesn't make me a Fred...

I'd actually say that what you describe is the beginnings of a Fred bunch ride! (drum roll ... cymbal crash ...)

Sorry, couldn't resist that one ...

 

[Oldman]

If you've accumulated more than 5 thousand posts on a cycling forum,.. you just might be a fred.

*If you spend more time fantasizing about cycling than actually riding you might be a fred
*If you spend more time analyzing your wattage output files than riding you might be a slow fred.

 

[usedtobefast]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_(bicycling)

the scholarly tome on Fred.
there will be a test.

 

[Anonymous]

You guys are making it so hard

"Fred or Poser?".... "Poser or Fred?" where do I want to be? I got a lot of the Poser gear, but my contrarian heart cries Fred... maybe there's a compromise... Instead of being an off-the rack, carbon copy (pun intended), me-too poser I'll be a Fred with a Flare. Frederico!

 

[Black-Balled]

Hey, I use those on my training bike as an homage to my 1992 Giant Cadex!

Woo-Hoo! (I have a CFR Team hanging at my house)

 

[Red Lobster]

Or you might be a triathlete.

Is there a difference (said as someone who admittedly sometimes rides the bike leg with some runner and swimmer friends in the relay category of half/full ironman races)?

 

[BroDeal]

"Fred or Poser?".... "Poser or Fred?" where do I want to be? I got a lot of the Poser gear, but my contrarian heart cries Fred... maybe there's a compromise... Instead of being an off-the rack, carbon copy (pun intended), me-too poser I'll be a Fred with a Flare. Frederico!

We probably need a separate poser thread since the two are different and people often confuse the two.

 

[SpiTimeCannon]

Being stuck in Venice at the moment I decided to do an evening ride up to Treviso to have a look at the Pinnarello shop and maybe buy a retro type cycling shirt or tee shirt.
Ok -
2. If you have a beard then you might be a fred.
I have a beard.
7. If ride on the road with a Camelbak then you might be a fred.
I rode with a back pack to maybe put the shirt in and I thought that it my have made me more aerodynamic on the 30k time trial to Treviso.
Find the shop. Find a nice retro cycling shirt in my size XL. (I’ve not been brave enough to ride with it yet). Starting to leave the shop an old guy with glasses comes out from behind the counter, Giovanni Pinarello him self.
I did not get a photo, nor did get him to sign the shirt. He did hit the wheel of my Specialized Roubaix with his walking stick. He took my pulse (just needed to get closer to my 725X to see it, but) he said that I had a strong pulse. The new Pinnarello kob bike came so long after Spi did the Roubaix. And I also own a Time VSX Vibraser. Thanks I’ll wait until a Pinarello wins the hell of the north is what I thought.
Ok-
Fred would have got him to sign the shirt and then sold it on Ebay.

 

[zealot66]

After reading this, I definately feel like a fred. I dont have all the right gear, dont shave my legs but I put in the miles and am trying to improve as a cyclist. Saving for a better rig and gear. Cant you be something better than a fred for this ???? how bout a poor mans Schleck ?

 

[Anonymous]

We probably need a separate poser thread since the two are different and people often confuse the two.

I will defer to you, oh ancient one with the 5k PLUS posts. Please teach us the signs of the poser. I have neither the knowledge, nor experience nor time to start such a thread, and guide it.

 

[_fred_]

 

[Notso Swift]

I will defer to you, oh ancient one with the 5k PLUS posts. Please teach us the signs of the poser. I have neither the knowledge, nor experience nor time to start such a thread, and guide it.

6000 now...


Not sure if I know the signs of a Poser, but I am pretty sure I am one, ergo:

Bike worth more than car
shaves legs but usually only averages about 35kph (when ever I see mates just say I am on a "recovery" ride...)
Italian kit (Castelli, would be trumped by Assos or Rapha, naturally)
Has rollers, but I need to concentrate

I do (at least) race... but it is in a low grade...

 

[Road Hazard]

6000 now...


Not sure if I know the signs of a Poser, but I am pretty sure I am one, ergo:

Bike worth more than car
shaves legs but usually only averages about 35kph (when ever I see mates just say I am on a "recovery" ride...)
Italian kit (Castelli, would be trumped by Assos or Rapha, naturally)
Has rollers, but I need to concentrate

I do (at least) race... but it is in a low grade...

Heh, I have a carbon, past tour worthy frame, and wear Pearl Izumi! I race to work according to my own idea of where the finish line is and contest random people on the weekend.

Poser though I may be, I am in better shape and having more fun than I have in years.

 

[Aristarchus]

Oh, let's see where I fit in...

-Beard (or at the very least, a day or two of stubble)
-Frame-mounted pump
-Hairy legs, sometimes!

...and no regrets

 

[Anonymous]

Fun?

Heh, I have a carbon, past tour worthy frame, and wear Pearl Izumi! I race to work according to my own idea of where the finish line is and contest random people on the weekend.

Poser though I may be, I am in better shape and having more fun than I have in years.

Fun? You mean you have fun riding your bike? Can people TELL you are having fun? If you show it, I think "fun" is a Fred thing.

 

[auscyclefan94]

The Evans fan admits to being a wheelsucker.

Oh, boy. I'll show myself out.

I meant that more literally than you are assuming. actually sniffing!

 

[usedtobefast]

if you visit this website. you have "The Fred" within.

 

[SpiTimeCannon]

Err! Got a problem.
Well I’ve just got a Garmin 500 for my birthday.
Now I can time-trial against myself.
So now I’m a grey bearded fat old guy, riding a Specialized or Time bike with a Pinnarello shirt, hairy legs and a helmet that has won the Tour d France. And now I can’t stop because I’m racing myself.
Not only that, but I now have to ride everything twice to see if I can beat myself. (Or rather the small pointer on the screen that is so small I can hardly see it without my reading glasses).
Is that Fred or not Fred.
Oh and the Cannon bit is my mountain bike which has a Lefty –fork ?-. I say that it was cheaper like that and I’m saving up to buy the other half of the fork.
Poser or not.

 

[Lifeshape]

Several years ago, while new to cycling and in an austrere part of the world, I considered shipping an old 30 pound mountain bike with a new headset and drops and SPDs. Looking back I was so Fred I didn't even know it!

 

[Road Hazard]

Fun? You mean you have fun riding your bike? Can people TELL you are having fun? If you show it, I think "fun" is a Fred thing.

Well I'm not sure. I'll have to check my reflection in the plate glass windows next time to see if I'm smiling like a dweeb while I ride.