There are teams in the pro peloton, when their accomplishments are discussed, I say to myself, "Sure, but that doesn't change the fact that I cannot stand their organization."
There are riders in the pro peloton, when their accomplishments are discussed, I say to myself, "Sure, but that doesn't change the fact that he's an ***."
There are forum users, when their posts are responded to--or when someone responds to their posts, I say to myself, "WTF are they prattling on about? If only these people were getting paid to publish their opinions. Oh, that's right, opinions are like assholes--everyone has them and I haven't been paid yet!" and, "If only we could get these forum users into a cage to battle it out amongst themselves. Holy crap! I might even pay to watch! Hell, I'd be the ****ing referee! Now that would be something fun!", and "If they gave out "Post Pimp" and "Post Prostitute" awards at the "Internet Forum Follies", would the winners show in person to receive it, or would they just text it in? Would their acceptance speeches be cut off by the swell of the orchestra or would someone have to push "play" on the iPod? Would the winners wear their cycling kits complete with helmets? Oh, but then there's that whole helmet-head after-party issue...", and the comments continue until I go out for a ride when suddenly my head is filled with thoughts of, "I feel great! I'm riding my bike. Nothing else that happens today, with the exception of some mind-blowing spectacular meal or the orgasm of my life, will top this.", and "Holy Mother of God! This climb is ****ing killing me! You have GOT to lose 5 pounds, like yesterday!", and "Did I remember to lock the garage? ****!!!"