Commentatorballs

[StryderHells]

I remember in the 2011 Tour Phil Liggett confusing Andy Schleck with Abraham Olano, easy mistake to make when you consider they don't look anything alike, are different nationalities and Olano having retired in 2002.

Same Tour after the first stage we had an Australian presenter in Mike Tomilaris asking after the first stage, "Cadel Evans is 1 second down, can he still win?"

 

[GuyIncognito]

Re: Re:

Yeah, Rolf Sørensen.
I guess Danes just have a different definition of when jackets are necessary than Italians do...

They should make him descent a climb in the wet with and without a jacket and see if he keeps his opinion.

Let me explain how Rolf's mind works.

Rolf knows everything and is right about everything. If reality happens to disagree, then reality is wrong. Or so Rolf will tell you.

 

[GenericBoonenFan]

Re: Re:

Yeah, Rolf Sørensen.
I guess Danes just have a different definition of when jackets are necessary than Italians do...

They should make him descent a climb in the wet with and without a jacket and see if he keeps his opinion.

Let me explain how Rolf's mind works.

Rolf knows everything and is right about everything. If reality happens to disagree, then reality is wrong. Or so Rolf will tell you.

Rolf sounds like a real ***.

 

[ciranda]

Re: Re:

Yeah, Rolf Sørensen.
I guess Danes just have a different definition of when jackets are necessary than Italians do...

They should make him descent a climb in the wet with and without a jacket and see if he keeps his opinion.

Let me explain how Rolf's mind works.

Rolf knows everything and is right about everything. If reality happens to disagree, then reality is wrong. Or so Rolf will tell you.

Why do you think that? I find that he sounds sort of insecure and when he's annoying it's because of crazy over-praise for everything, hardness of races, how talented someone is and so on.

When Nibali was wearing a jacket during the foggy descent he (Rolf) was not amused. Talking about how it wasn't necessary and pointless.

Is this guy an ex-cyclist?

Won RVV and LBL. Obviously. Always turned up in short sleeves from the first shitty belgian race in february because race was always on.

 

[Jagartrott]

Re: Re:

Won RVV and LBL. Obviously. Always turned up in short sleeves from the first ****** belgian race in february because race was always on.

I guess he had a body fat percentage above 4.5%...

 

[Vesica]

Re:

I think it's way too harsh to compare José Been to Kirby. She occasionally makes mistakes but most times this is just a matter of naming the wrong rider, the information is correct and she usually catches it and corrects herself right away. Unlike Kirby, she is respectful towards the riders, doesn't make unacceptable jokes, has vast amounts of cycling knowledge and although she clearly favors young Dutch and Belgian talents, pretty much all riders get equal attention from her. I really enjoy listening to her, especially with a good co-commentator like Karsten Kroon.

If you really want to name someone "the Kirby of the Netherlands", I think Maarten Ducrot is better match. Horrible commentator.

Indeed, that's an insult to Kirby. Been knows nothing, she's always too late with seeing things happening in the race, she makes mistakes about names, she doesn't know the situation in the race. Kirsten Kroon is even worse, he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. Well, he's not watching the race otherwise he would talk about something else. The only proper commentator on Dutch/Belgium Eurosport is the Belgium guy (don't know his name), he got his info right, got most of the times the situation right.

Ducrot, in combination with Herbert Dijkstra, is the best we have in the Netherlands. In minor races we got Joris van de Berg, guy is horrible.

 

[LaFlorecita]

Re: Re:

I think it's way too harsh to compare José Been to Kirby. She occasionally makes mistakes but most times this is just a matter of naming the wrong rider, the information is correct and she usually catches it and corrects herself right away. Unlike Kirby, she is respectful towards the riders, doesn't make unacceptable jokes, has vast amounts of cycling knowledge and although she clearly favors young Dutch and Belgian talents, pretty much all riders get equal attention from her. I really enjoy listening to her, especially with a good co-commentator like Karsten Kroon.

If you really want to name someone "the Kirby of the Netherlands", I think Maarten Ducrot is better match. Horrible commentator.

Indeed, that's an insult to Kirby. Been knows nothing, she's always too late with seeing things happening in the race, she makes mistakes about names, she doesn't know the situation in the race. Kirsten Kroon is even worse, he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. Well, he's not watching the race otherwise he would talk about something else. The only proper commentator on Dutch/Belgium Eurosport is the Belgium guy (don't know his name), he got his info right, got most of the times the situation right.

Ducrot, in combination with Herbert Dijkstra, is the best we have in the Netherlands. In minor races we got Joris van de Berg, guy is horrible.

Hilarious, the ones you dislike are the ones I like, and your favorites are the ones I think are the worst :lol: Well, except Joris van de Berg, I think he is horrible as well.

Listening to Ducrot and Dijkstra is like continuously bashing your head against the wall. Boring anecdotes, open doors, clichés; not recognizing riders, perhaps they would have been good commentators in the 90s but they should have upped their game by now.

 

[Alexandre B.]

"Carlos Sastre doesn't look good, it's a certainty." - Laurent Jalabert, on the road to l'Alpe d'Huez during the 2008 Tour (59k to go).

 

[Squire]

Re:

Uzbekistan was then-recently independent, and Abdu was officially riding under the Uzbek flag. So it was, at the time, technically and officially and geographically incorrect. But it was the early 90s, so nobody made nearly as much of a fuss about these things.

No, during the Tour of '91 it wasn't.

Don't you ever question Sean Kelly, the poster boy of precision!

 

[Gigs_98]

On the last descent of todays Vuelta stage, Eurosport germany commentator Kasten Migels: "at least the road is not wet"

 

[Squire]

Speaking of Sean Kelly... He was commentating LBL '99, together with David Duffield, for Eurosport. When VDB was about to be caught by the group after his attack on La Redoute, Sean was critisising him for his youthful overenthusiasm and lack of tactical nous, ending his rant by saying, in his most condecending and assured tone: "He has a lot to learn..."
I still love Sean, though.

 

[Sestriere]

On the last descent of todays Vuelta stage, Eurosport germany commentator Kasten Migels: "at least the road is not wet"

It was hilarious when they were speculating whether Froome had some kind of red or green (or dark green) lamps on his power meter to suggest him how fast to go

 

[Gigs_98]

On the last descent of todays Vuelta stage, Eurosport germany commentator Kasten Migels: "at least the road is not wet"

It was hilarious when they were speculating whether Froome had some kind of red or green (or dark green) lamps on his power meter to suggest him how fast to go

Yeah, I generally like it when Jean Claude subliminally shows his dislike for team sky's controlled style of racing

 

[Oude Geuze]

Sean Kelly, easily the worst commentator. Kirby tries to get him involved and Kelly goes, 'well, yes....they gave it a real good go', 'Well, yes...' He contributes almost nothing of alue, while Kirby brings enthusiasm, anecdotes, word play's, silly puns, descriptions, and excitement. No he doesn't know everything, and neither do you (despite some people caliming that they actually do lol)

 

[Oude Geuze]

A lot of people on this board dont understand that being a commentator is much more difficult than identifying the times when a commentator makes a mistake. You can choose when to speak, the commentator has to cover everything.

To make a simple analogy, if you're watching jeopardy at home and answer every question you know, you will seem smart to your friends. But you are selecting which questions to answer, which makes it a lot easier. None of you would even come close to doing what Kirby does, and most of you would not even dear to. Of course, any idiot could do what Sean Kelly does, which is keep quiet, until you feel you have something to say. Even if that happens to be the same thing you said previously. And the time before that.

 

[Breh]

Re: Re:

I think it's way too harsh to compare José Been to Kirby. She occasionally makes mistakes but most times this is just a matter of naming the wrong rider, the information is correct and she usually catches it and corrects herself right away. Unlike Kirby, she is respectful towards the riders, doesn't make unacceptable jokes, has vast amounts of cycling knowledge and although she clearly favors young Dutch and Belgian talents, pretty much all riders get equal attention from her. I really enjoy listening to her, especially with a good co-commentator like Karsten Kroon.

If you really want to name someone "the Kirby of the Netherlands", I think Maarten Ducrot is better match. Horrible commentator.

Indeed, that's an insult to Kirby. Been knows nothing, she's always too late with seeing things happening in the race, she makes mistakes about names, she doesn't know the situation in the race. Kirsten Kroon is even worse, he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. Well, he's not watching the race otherwise he would talk about something else. The only proper commentator on Dutch/Belgium Eurosport is the Belgium guy (don't know his name), he got his info right, got most of the times the situation right.

Ducrot, in combination with Herbert Dijkstra, is the best we have in the Netherlands. In minor races we got Joris van de Berg, guy is horrible.

Jeroen Vanbelleghem? He's ok yeah. I think he posts here occasionally.

José Been is just absolutely terrible. Her twitter drama is fricking awfull. Why does she constantly have to twitter during the race? Please focus on improving your mediocre commentary. Why does she announce her retirement from twitter only to be back 2days later? So sad ES bought RCS races

 

[perico]

"And coming home in 5th today is Gorka Gerri.. Ger... er... ah... a rather large Basque name."

-Phil Liggett early 2000s

 

[TMP402]

"And coming home in 5th today is Gorka Gerri.. Ger... er... ah... a rather large Basque name."

-Phil Liggett early 2000s

Gorka Gerrikagoitia?!

 

[GenericBoonenFan]

Re: Re:

I think it's way too harsh to compare José Been to Kirby. She occasionally makes mistakes but most times this is just a matter of naming the wrong rider, the information is correct and she usually catches it and corrects herself right away. Unlike Kirby, she is respectful towards the riders, doesn't make unacceptable jokes, has vast amounts of cycling knowledge and although she clearly favors young Dutch and Belgian talents, pretty much all riders get equal attention from her. I really enjoy listening to her, especially with a good co-commentator like Karsten Kroon.

If you really want to name someone "the Kirby of the Netherlands", I think Maarten Ducrot is better match. Horrible commentator.

Indeed, that's an insult to Kirby. Been knows nothing, she's always too late with seeing things happening in the race, she makes mistakes about names, she doesn't know the situation in the race. Kirsten Kroon is even worse, he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. Well, he's not watching the race otherwise he would talk about something else. The only proper commentator on Dutch/Belgium Eurosport is the Belgium guy (don't know his name), he got his info right, got most of the times the situation right.

Ducrot, in combination with Herbert Dijkstra, is the best we have in the Netherlands. In minor races we got Joris van de Berg, guy is horrible.

Jeroen Vanbelleghem? He's ok yeah. I think he posts here occasionally.

José Been is just absolutely terrible. Her twitter drama is fricking awfull. Why does she constantly have to twitter during the race? Please focus on improving your mediocre commentary. Why does she announce her retirement from twitter only to be back 2days later? So sad ES bought RCS races

I agree with you, I've found myself following the Giro on the French eurosport since I was fearing that one day I might throw my remote at the screen. Even my dad who only watches the classics and tour can correct Been, which means a lot. Plus her rather large twitter addiction and her tendency to get in a war with everyone about anything on social networks (Lately, she commented that she didn't see why we belgians give nicknames to our national teams in any sport, when a friend of mine formulated a (not-in-the-slightest-rude) response she blatantly attacked her and then proceeded to block her when she couldn't admitt defeat.)
It's no surprise that she's blocked by a bunch of BIG names in cycling.

 

[Brullnux]

Re:

A lot of people on this board dont understand that being a commentator is much more difficult than identifying the times when a commentator makes a mistake. You can choose when to speak, the commentator has to cover everything.

To make a simple analogy, if you're watching jeopardy at home and answer every question you know, you will seem smart to your friends. But you are selecting which questions to answer, which makes it a lot easier. None of you would even come close to doing what Kirby does, and most of you would not even dear to. Of course, any idiot could do what Sean Kelly does, which is keep quiet, until you feel you have something to say. Even if that happens to be the same thing you said previously. And the time before that.

Firstly, this thread is made to mock stupid things commentators say rather than criticise their overall quality. There is already a thread for that.

Secondly, the "you couldn't do a better job" argument is one of the most useless ones in the world. So what I can't manage a coach a team as well as Mourinho? That isn't my job, I'm not paid to do it, I haven't been picked to do it - but I can spot terrible moments and terrible decisions, and I have every right to criticise then for it. I can't play football as well as John Stones yet I can still say that he's a bad defender. I can't play rugby as well as the Italian national team, but I can still call them useless. Criticising Kirby does not exclude respecting his role; it merely says that he is not good enough to do it. Who cares if I can't do as well? There are others who so the job and are better, and there will be more who don't do the job who have the potential to be better. It's not just a single mistake - I don't care if a commentator says that a rider is Jelle Wallays instead of Sean de Bie: the issue is with when he can't read races, doesn't know who riders are (even when their names are displayed) and struggle with the most basic arithmetic and logic. Repeatedly. At that point I'd say that he isn't good enough.

Lastly, the jeopardy analogy is off for the reasons I stated above.

Diversion over.

 

[perico]

"And coming home in 5th today is Gorka Gerri.. Ger... er... ah... a rather large Basque name."

-Phil Liggett early 2000s

Gorka Gerrikagoitia?!

That was the one. It was hilarious to hear Liggett trying to figure out that one. It was during the Vuelta in one of the years Heras was riding for USPS.

 

[perico]

"I just about soiled my underwear."
-Duffield when David Millar attacked at the Worlds the year Cipollini won.

"People worship this man, and if you don't worship this man, well you should."

-Kirby on Contador at the Dauphine in 2016.

(Going by memory and may not be exact word for word)

 

[Oude Geuze]

Re: Re:

A lot of people on this board dont understand that being a commentator is much more difficult than identifying the times when a commentator makes a mistake. You can choose when to speak, the commentator has to cover everything.

To make a simple analogy, if you're watching jeopardy at home and answer every question you know, you will seem smart to your friends. But you are selecting which questions to answer, which makes it a lot easier. None of you would even come close to doing what Kirby does, and most of you would not even dear to. Of course, any idiot could do what Sean Kelly does, which is keep quiet, until you feel you have something to say. Even if that happens to be the same thing you said previously. And the time before that.

Firstly, this thread is made to mock stupid things commentators say rather than criticise their overall quality. There is already a thread for that.

Secondly, the "you couldn't do a better job" argument is one of the most useless ones in the world. So what I can't manage a coach a team as well as Mourinho? That isn't my job, I'm not paid to do it, I haven't been picked to do it - but I can spot terrible moments and terrible decisions, and I have every right to criticise then for it. I can't play football as well as John Stones yet I can still say that he's a bad defender. I can't play rugby as well as the Italian national team, but I can still call them useless. Criticising Kirby does not exclude respecting his role; it merely says that he is not good enough to do it. Who cares if I can't do as well? There are others who so the job and are better, and there will be more who don't do the job who have the potential to be better. It's not just a single mistake - I don't care if a commentator says that a rider is Jelle Wallays instead of Sean de Bie: the issue is with when he can't read races, doesn't know who riders are (even when their names are displayed) and struggle with the most basic arithmetic and logic. Repeatedly. At that point I'd say that he isn't good enough.

Lastly, the jeopardy analogy is off for the reasons I stated above.

Diversion over.

I replied that way exactly because such a claim was made by people itt as a way of disparaging Kirby. The comment I made does pertain to this subject, and it is valid. You state that he can't read races or remember names. I have seen hours worth of Kirby commentating, and that simply is not true. Norwegian and danish commentators are no better, they occasionally miss things. Also, you have to remember that we are not the target audience. We are an insignificant minority. His job is to entertain the majority, and he's really good at animating even dull races. So your critique of him is both wrong and a result of an uninformed view of what he is hired to do. Frankly, it's immature elitism.

 

[GuyIncognito]

What grates me about Kirby is the sheer undiluted arrogance.

A break of 4 goes. 3 known riders and Abu el-Babbidiboobbidy from Saudi Arabia in his first pro race. Kirby names the other 3 and pretend there's no one else there. Once a clear picture of the guy's dossard is shown and Kirby has a chance to look him up on the startlist, he'll claim that "it's Abu el Babbadawhatsa, I can tell by his distinctive style".

If his job is simply to animate, then hire a standup comedian. At least that way our intelligence won't be insulted.

 

[alspacka]

Kirby trying to get his head around the concept of domestiques.

"It could be that Poels is almost a sacrificial lamb out there today"