Commentatorballs

[Brullnux]

Inspired by the section in Private Eye (a british satirical magazine), this can be a thread for all the stupid things commentators in any country from any channel say. This isn't about a lack of cycling knowledge, but just foot-in-mouth moments. Sort of like the rider's excuses thread but for commentators; it isn't made for 'discussion' but just quotes. Considering the quality of the average commentator (of any sport), there should be a lot of examples.

 

[the delgados]

Uh oh.
Here we go.

 

[jmdirt]

"The balding Castorama rider is having the ride of his life".

 

[GenericBoonenFan]

Adam Yates, the green jersey, a man for the futur...
Christopher Juul Jensen, a great sprinter whi won 2 vuelta stages last year...

Both by the Kirby of the Netherlands José Been

 

[Red Rick]

Re:

Adam Yates, the green jersey, a man for the futur...
Christopher Juul Jensen, a great sprinter whi won 2 vuelta stages last year...

Both by the Kirby of the Netherlands José Been

José Been is so much worse. Kirby can at least sound very enthusiastic. Been doesn't know *** and sounds bored while not knowing ***.

 

[Kwibus]

Re: Re:

Adam Yates, the green jersey, a man for the futur...
Christopher Juul Jensen, a great sprinter whi won 2 vuelta stages last year...

Both by the Kirby of the Netherlands José Been

José Been is so much worse. Kirby can at least sound very enthusiastic. Been doesn't know **** and sounds bored while not knowing ****.

Which is surprising as she spends all her days reading cycling news in all countries since she speaks most languages.
She knows a lot, but indeed makes big mistakes

 

[Strawberry_Jams]

David Duffield was the one for colemanballs.

 

[Strawberry_Jams]

A famous one from Liggett was 'and now it's Gerrie Knetteman breaking wind at the front'

 

[LaFlorecita]

I think it's way too harsh to compare José Been to Kirby. She occasionally makes mistakes but most times this is just a matter of naming the wrong rider, the information is correct and she usually catches it and corrects herself right away. Unlike Kirby, she is respectful towards the riders, doesn't make unacceptable jokes, has vast amounts of cycling knowledge and although she clearly favors young Dutch and Belgian talents, pretty much all riders get equal attention from her. I really enjoy listening to her, especially with a good co-commentator like Karsten Kroon.

If you really want to name someone "the Kirby of the Netherlands", I think Maarten Ducrot is better match. Horrible commentator.

 

[LaFlorecita]

Re: Re:

Adam Yates, the green jersey, a man for the futur...
Christopher Juul Jensen, a great sprinter whi won 2 vuelta stages last year...

Both by the Kirby of the Netherlands José Been

José Been is so much worse. Kirby can at least sound very enthusiastic. Been doesn't know **** and sounds bored while not knowing ****.

I don't think she sounds bored at all. If you think she is "so much worse" than Kirby, I don't think you've heard much of him.
I guess it's people like you that make her quit social media every once in a while... really the amount of abuse she gets is frightening.

 

[Brullnux]

Re:

Uh oh.
Here we go.

It isn't meant to be criticism per se, just laughing at them.

Here's one: "Mikel Landa: he's like a round hole in a square peg" (or something along those lines, I can't remember it verbatim)

Or another: "Tony Gallopin, who is 37 seconds ahead of Michal Kwiatkowski, who is 37 seconds behind" - Rob Hatch

 

[PremierAndrew]

Re: Re:

Or another: "Tony Gallopin, who is 37 seconds ahead of Michal Kwiatkowski, who is 37 seconds behind" - Rob Hatch

Love this one

 

[GuyIncognito]

"Winner of this year's Bayern Munich Rundfahrt" - Paul Sherwen

 

[Brullnux]

"He's only gone and won Kuurne-Brussels-Kuurne - he's in the Parthenon" - ya boy kirby

 

[Beech Mtn]

Re: Re:

Adam Yates, the green jersey, a man for the futur...
Christopher Juul Jensen, a great sprinter whi won 2 vuelta stages last year...

Both by the Kirby of the Netherlands José Been

José Been is so much worse. Kirby can at least sound very enthusiastic. Been doesn't know **** and sounds bored while not knowing ****.

I don't think she sounds bored at all. If you think she is "so much worse" than Kirby, I don't think you've heard much of him.
I guess it's people like you that make her quit social media every once in a while... really the amount of abuse she gets is frightening.

She used to have a bad habit of presenting other people's stuff as her own on social media. Don't know if that's still true today.

 

[jmdirt]

I can't remember if it was Al Michaels or Frank Gifford, but when describing the action of a rotating pace line: the American is leading, he seems to be drifting back, oh he's working his way back up, he's leading again, oh, he just can't hold... there was an odd silence and then some understanding of what was going on.

 

[GenericBoonenFan]

The main problem with Been is that she's supposed to be a commentator for both dutch and belgian fans, well atleast during the Giro she could try. But she clearly favors the dutch.
Furthermore, it's like Rick says she might be enthousiastic but she lacks significamt talent to be a commemtator.
Personally I favor B.Traksel as he's smart, knows his stuff and cam givee interesting anecdotes unlike Been or Kroon.

 

[Oude Geuze]

Re: Re:

Adam Yates, the green jersey, a man for the futur...
Christopher Juul Jensen, a great sprinter whi won 2 vuelta stages last year...

Both by the Kirby of the Netherlands José Been

José Been is so much worse. Kirby can at least sound very enthusiastic. Been doesn't know **** and sounds bored while not knowing ****.

I don't think she sounds bored at all. If you think she is "so much worse" than Kirby, I don't think you've heard much of him.
I guess it's people like you that make her quit social media every once in a while... really the amount of abuse she gets is frightening.

All the while, ripping on Kirby like everyone else ITT and on the forum in general. Double standards much?

M favorites from Kirby:
TdF '17 Aru tages a mtf: "..and there it is, the smile that could break a thousand mirrors"
Vuelta stage 14: "Aru is all over the bike, its not pretty from this angle, its not pretty from any angle when its Aru"

I feel sorry for Aru, but at the same time, he does have a peculiar style, and the comments did make me laugh.

 

[Tour_de_Calvados]

Kirby on any mountainous Vuelta stage - "could be a good one for Louis Meintjes to attack here".

Last year in le Tour IIRC Kirby started on about wild boar and then proceeded to sing "wild boar, wild boar" to the tune of a Duran Duran song. Bizarre.

 

[LaFlorecita]

Re:

The main problem with Been is that she's supposed to be a commentator for both dutch and belgian fans, well atleast during the Giro she could try. But she clearly favors the dutch.
Furthermore, it's like Rick says she might be enthousiastic but she lacks significamt talent to be a commemtator.
Personally I favor B.Traksel as he's smart, knows his stuff and cam givee interesting anecdotes unlike Been or Kroon.

Funnily, among Dutch fans, much of the criticism towards her is about her focus on Belgian riders like De Plus and Vervaeke.

 

[LaFlorecita]

Re: Re:

All the while, ripping on Kirby like everyone else ITT and on the forum in general. Double standards much?

M favorites from Kirby:
TdF '17 Aru tages a mtf: "..and there it is, the smile that could break a thousand mirrors"
Vuelta stage 14: "Aru is all over the bike, its not pretty from this angle, its not pretty from any angle when its Aru"

I feel sorry for Aru, but at the same time, he does have a peculiar style, and the comments did make me laugh.

And THAT's the difference between Kirby and Been. Kirby is a disrespectful POS who thinks he is funny and should never be criticized.

 

[LaFlorecita]

Re: Re:

Or another: "Tony Gallopin, who is 37 seconds ahead of Michal Kwiatkowski, who is 37 seconds behind" - Rob Hatch

Now this is funny. Rob Hatch is a proper commentator, unfortunately from what I read online many don't like him because he pronounces foreign names correctly.

 

[Billie]

Re:

The main problem with Been is that she's supposed to be a commentator for both dutch and belgian fans, well atleast during the Giro she could try. But she clearly favors the dutch.
Furthermore, it's like Rick says she might be enthousiastic but she lacks significamt talent to be a commemtator.
Personally I favor B.Traksel as he's smart, knows his stuff and cam givee interesting anecdotes unlike Been or Kroon.

Traksel is a disgrace

 

[Ricco']

Re: Re:

Or another: "Tony Gallopin, who is 37 seconds ahead of Michal Kwiatkowski, who is 37 seconds behind" - Rob Hatch

Now this is funny. Rob Hatch is a proper commentator, unfortunately from what I read online many don't like him because he pronounces foreign names correctly.

Yes, it's always a treat to listen to the Giro on Eurosport international because of Rob Hatch. I don't like Sean Kelly's accent and way of speaking, but the pair Hatch+Kelly is the best for me.

 

[Durden93]

Re:

Adam Yates, the green jersey, a man for the futur...
Christopher Juul Jensen, a great sprinter whi won 2 vuelta stages last year...

Both by the Kirby of the Netherlands José Been

I listened to her commentary of the 2014 worlds. She is absolutely dreadful.