Oh yea, I get it now, the cow was injected with Clenbuterol and then the farmer stuck his gloved hand up the cow's a$$ after having picked the gloves up off of the industrial floor from a flexible container, then took a train to the farm where he hit some golf balls off of a mat onto a swimming pool that was covered, then grabbing a tarpaulin to put over the sign that said "WE DON'T USE CLENBUTEROL IN BEEF" where upon he felt dirty for what he was about to do, and decided to take a shower first in hopes of cleaning off the immoral feeling he was having, and in the absence of towels he used napkins and because he still felt a bit guilty, he wrote his feelings of guilt down in his journal which he keeps protected from the elements of a farm by placing the pages in stationary film, but he still needed some absolution for the sin he was readying to commit, so he picked up a very old bible that had the spine torn off, and he decided that maybe it would be a good idea to visit the Vatican after it was all over, so he real quick looked to see what the best route would be from Spain to Italy via car, and just then he remembered his wife had been all over him about fixing the hole in the roof, so he real quick took that off the "Honey Do" list, and went to tell her, and she thanked him with a little trip of the light fantastic on their water bed and the night table, but he once again failed to perform to her satisfaction so she told him to pack his **** and get out, so he got the luggage all ready, and he packed some traffic cones in case he got a flat on the way to Italy because he is just like that and always plans ahead, and he also packed a buoy because he might try to charter a boat on his trip because he loves the Mediterranean in the summer and he would like to get started early on finding a new wife, and what do chicks dig more than a boat, but he didn't want to move too fast on that because he was headed to the Vatican for goodness sake, but right now, time for fantasy was over, and he needed to get on with putting on those disposable gloves and injecting his cow with Clenbuterol and then reaching up its a$$ to feel for whatever it is farmers feel for when they stick their hands up cow's asses, and he realized that he would need a pair of pliers for whatever job it was that necessitates a farmer sticking his hand up a cow's a$$.
Too bad Contador got a steak from that guy, huh?