Great lines posted by others

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Mar 16, 2009
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Thank heaven for WonderLance
for WonderLance gets bigger every day!

Thank heaven for WonderLance
he's grown up in the most delightful way!

Those little eyes so helpless and appealing
one day will flash and send you crashin' thru the ceilin'

Thank heaven for WonderLance
thank heaven for him
no matter where, no matter who,
for without him, what would fan boys do?

Thank heaven... thank heaven...
Thank heaven for WonderLance
 
Jul 2, 2010
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Re Chaingate...

WonderLance:
LANCE WOULD HAVE WAITED
El Imbatido:
No Lance is still climbing the Porte de Bales.........
 
Wonderlance is awesome, but the two best lines this week are in the CN news section. First from the story on Cancellara talking about moving up to the silver when Rebellin was dqed for drugs.
"He missed out on the podium that day and he has no pictures from it. But the road race was like a gold medal for me because I was so happy. In the end the truth has won and that’s maybe the most important thing. I have gold and a silver now and that’s great for me and for Switzerland
And second from the article on McEwen.
Rogers attributes McEwen's clarity of thought and action to high-altitude training, meaning higher oxygen levels kept him awake while those around him collapsed.

"I hate to think what would have happened if he hadn't been there because firstly he knew what was happening and, secondly, he does high-altitude training, so his blood is rich in red blood cells and he wasn't affected by the carbon monoxide.
:cool:
 
Apr 28, 2010
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Wasn't sure where to put this. Anyway, a Christmas treat for Wonderlance. A young Armstrong showing maximum flesh:

 
Aug 16, 2009
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Mods please stop removing posts from MY thread. I liked it how it was.
Looking after this thread will be good practice for me for when I become an Administrator in a few week time

Of course Roland was wrong, there is always more flesh
 
Dec 14, 2010
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Being a newbie here and only hearing of WonderLance in repost quotes from others, I was under the impression that this CN Forum member was an actual person making sincere (if oddly overly dedicated hero worship) posting about "El Cajone" the Texas Ego.

After actually seeing some of the forum posts from that accoutn 'in real time', I finally realize, that WonderLance is actually a humorous, satirical, "devel's Advocate" account that some of the other regular poster use to poke fun at the still overly-dedicated and naive Lance Armstrong Fan... right?
(or is WonderLance something like "Max Headroom's" less bright younger cousin?)

I mean "WonderLance" couldn't ACTAULLY be posting all of the fawning and throne polishing cow manure for real... correct?

Oh well, I am a newbie and still learning.

Merry Chrtistmas one and all.
 
Name 3 clean cyclists.

WonderLance said:
I can do that...... Lance Armstrong, Johan Bruniel and ummm.....Lance Armstrong.
WonderLance said:
you are very good argument and I totally agree with your piont. The angry people in this forum are always hating on Lovelly Lance and it makes me so sad. He is just much better trained harder and lost more weight than all those other dirty doper cyclists like Little Berto.

I heard that Lance pionered the gluten free diet and once beat up Chuck Norris.

Love. WondeLance.
WonderLance said:
At last their is some sence in this thread, you stick it to all the silly hatters they dont know anything about proffeshonal cycling like you and I do. Lance will be awesome next year and is going to kick the bums of all those dirty drug riders like little Berto and Vino who cant ride without their drugs.

Lance is amazing, did you know that he made the Olsen girls boobs two cup sizes bigger just by looking at them!
WonderLance said:
this thread is really interesting.

I am glad we are now discussing what radioshack are stocking, as talking about the colour of lances bikes was starting to bore me. Sometimes the voices talk to me on my iphone.......I't great cos i can get all of his latests twits and put my data into livestrong and learn how to livestrong using my livestong ap.

In conclusion:

Radioshack
Livestrong
Twitter

Thankyou.
 
May 7, 2009
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another cool thing about Wonderlance is that he inteshonally misspellz very simple words two make hiz powsts sound all that much dummer
:)
 
Jul 2, 2009
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This thread marks the point where the Clinic section moved from a fairly paranoid forum to a self-conglatulatory, incestous cult.
 
Jul 6, 2010
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Mambo95 said:
This thread marks the point where the Clinic section moved from a fairly paranoid forum to a self-conglatulatory, incestous cult.
Hold on... I'm almost done... Unhhhh... A little more, no, faster... faster... Unhhh... Oh my god! UnhhhAhhhh....

Anyone got a smoke?
 
hrotha said:
I absolutely love how he consistently types "Evens."
Evens was my favourite WL rider name. Untill I read the post about how Evens was going to finish 2nd to Levistrong. :D

Anyway, for those who have the time, this latest batch is pure gold. With some running commentary.

This first post I think is perhaps the best. Starts of great with the “yes mama” bit, and im already laughing. And the “ive seen france on tv bit” makes the post seem like its at its peak. True brilliance. But then the greg lemond logic is a crescendo. Genius.

WonderLance said:
Yes Mama. Thats a great point. These ball hating, internet heros can't even grasp the simple facts that there is a french conspiracy out to get Lance, I've seen France on my tv and all the cheese eating surender monkeys were yelling "we hate lance" and "we love hairy armpits" and stuff like that.

Greg clearly doped cos lance didnt and greg thinks lance doped and lance didnt so therefore greg must have doped. I think we can all agree on that.
And this bit is absolutely hilarious too.,

WonderLance said:
Morning HATERS..... Good to see that some sensable posting has been happening here finaly. This thread is usually so full of HATE.:D

You guys all must all have really tiny ball to HATE on a man who has done so much for cycling, and lets not forget what he has done for cancer. What would cancer be like without him....It would probably kill people or something.

All you suckers would never ride bikes cos you spend all your time HATTING in internet forums and turning them into wastes of time where no one like me can discuss LANCE (TM) who as we all know invented cycling in 1992 in some hick town called Osmond or Oslo or something.

Im taking my uniball and going home. I think Plankton has made some tea.
WL on politics.:D

WonderLance said:
Yeah, what a joke..... Humans have no impact on the changing world climate its all just some dirty red plot. If i want to drive around in a huge car that wastes more oil than the Exxon Valdez thats my god darn right and no vegetarian, dreadlocked hippy is going to tell me what I can and carnt do.

And dont even start me on those soft whingers in third world countries. They should shut up and start to earn some money so they can drive a big car like me, all it takes is some god darn effort.
WonderLance said:
Yeah, God put us on this earth so we could use whatever we wanted, when ever we wanted. Those dirtly commies probably just want to distract us with their 'save the planet garbage while they perform a few abotions any way.
More traditional WL, regarding twitter though.
WonderLance said:
what would you know about Lance, Nothing thats what. Lance is a great man bacause he lets us know whats going on with the new Team Lance through Twitter. I have a commerce degree, so I understand.

People in this forum just want to bag Lance but I bet they havnt even read his Twitter and therefor dont know how great he is. They dont even think he will win the tour for another seven years.

Twitter
WonderLance said:
.

Lance won all his races because he is an awesome athlete and is able to pedal a little bit faster than all the other riders. i know this becasue Phil Ligget told me its simple maths people if you pedal a little bit faster than everone else you will win bike races. He also told me that Lance trains everyday and other riders dont do that which is why they take drugs and cheat. Lance would never take drugs because he doesnt want to get cancer.

It also doesnt matter if Lance wins any races because he is doing it to rase awareness of cancer because cancer lovers like Siesta Boy and Greg Lemond are not yet aware enough of cancer.
Convo
Ferminal said:
Personally I thought the field and the course were both quite weak last year.
WonderLance said:
how could the field be week if there is the greatest cyclist of ALL TIME in it.
Dr. Maserati said:
Merckx was riding in the Tour last year? Man, that guy is great.
WonderLance said:
We had a thread about that......We all agreed that Lance Armstrong was the greatest of all time. Merxx didnt even nail that many chicks.
This one is great.

WonderLance said:
Thankyou for starting this thread.... All Lance questions get burried in that nasty Offical LA thread and I cant read them and I get sad. This forum needs more Lance threads........More Lance More of the time!

And Lance didn't win because he had not yet discovered the awesome power of pedeling fast which unlocks his superhuman abilities.
WonderLance said:
Hey you guys should be nice to the English speaking riders. They are obviously better as they come from the same country or a similar one than you. English speaking riders would never to drugs or other bad things like kick puppies or give bad head/interviews.

I support riders from my country cos no one from my country does the wrong thing or gets a bad haircut. All the spaniards are obviously filthy as they dont come from the same country as me and therefore I cannot trust them.
WonderLance said:
# June 17, 2008 12:00AM Bahahahahaha. We all know how that turned out.

And Lance and Cadel are very close, you know they don't call him Cuddles for nothing.
These are from January- March. The best bit is everyone was totally buying it, telling him hes bpc, arguing with him, telling him hes a fanboy, and he was replying with this
WonderLance said:
Well, you obviously love cancer.........I think we can all agree on that.

Congratulations to Mellow Vello though. He called it from the start saying “WL is more intelligent than you think”, and Hugh Januss who said WL was a double agent.

And to finish it off. Wl responds to the 99 samples article.
WonderLance said:
don't read that cr@p, its just a bunch of anti-American, hero hating BS. Those guys bang on about the 1999 samples because they are tin-foil hat conspiracy theorists who just handle the fact that their favorite doped up rider Basso/Ulrich/Vino couldn't beet a clean Lance.
:D
 
Jan 18, 2010
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Race Radio said:
Or course all of Wonderlance's posts are works of art. Our resident and recently returned troll, BPC, often wrote



Followed by something completely ridiculous that nobody would agree with.

TFF has written many examples of fine comic prose.....but they have all been deleted.
some of the stuff from BPC is funny because of the rambling nature of his posts, And yes, i think we can all agree on that.:) Polish is underestimated though.. Kind of ridiculous fanboy stuff but not an attention seeker like say a flicker or a cobblestoned.

Daotec cracks me up the most though. This thread is good, plenty of quality from Daotec. Susan seems to get increasingly annoyed and puzzled.

http://forum.cyclingnews.com/showthread.php?t=9677&highlight=Stefan+Schumacher&page=2
 
DAOTEC operates on the same principle as Pitchfork, NME and all the other indie music sources. Those will find every new band and hype them to the moon, on the principle that when they blow up huge, they can say 'I was there first', but when the band never gets anywhere, you forget that they were claimed to be 'the new Smiths' or some other such nonsense.

DAOTEC trawls through and finds lots and lots of cycling news, most of it google-translated; some of it is pure idle speculation, and if the source he cites makes an error he will defend that error because he reproduced it (like when he tried to claim to me that Safi-Pasta Zara had collapsed and were American, because the source he cited put them under the wrong heading, and got annoyed with me for disagreeing, then when I worked out why the mistake was, he then got very self-righteous about how I'd questioned his integrity and issued a very arrogant response that failed to acknowledge that there was any inaccuracy in his post). When one of the things that is speculated turns out to be true, he can legitimately claim to have got their first among us, and he'll remind us of that.
 
Mar 13, 2009
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The Hitch said:
Evens was my favourite WL rider name.
Mine are Rasmoussenn and Andrew :D

Libertine Seguros said:
DAOTEC operates on the same principle as Pitchfork, NME and all the other indie music sources. Those will find every new band and hype them to the moon, on the principle that when they blow up huge, they can say 'I was there first', but when the band never gets anywhere, you forget that they were claimed to be 'the new Smiths' or some other such nonsense.
Lol NME is so incredibly pretentious, I can't read an article without getting really irretated.

What I like about ¿DAOTEC's? posts though is that they are nicely coloured and well-illustrated. Secondly, d'habitude ils sont en wenigstens tres lenguas distintas. Furthermore, he always has some wicked emoticons which I have no idea where he gets them from! :confused:
 
Christian said:
Secondly, d'habitude ils sont en wenigstens tres lenguas distintas.
I'm sure he probably is good with languages, but a lot of the time there are mistranslations or awkward errors, or the translation is the same as google's, which leads to reporting in very stilted English time to time, which makes me unsure. There have been a couple of times where it's been sort-of-right-but-not-quite.
 
May 6, 2009
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Libertine Seguros said:
I'm sure he probably is good with languages, but a lot of the time there are mistranslations or awkward errors, or the translation is the same as google's, which leads to reporting in very stilted English time to time, which makes me unsure. There have been a couple of times where it's been sort-of-right-but-not-quite.
That must do your head in, since you're a linguist?

Back to WL, my favourite part of him is that he is convinced that ACF is actually a 16 year old girl.
 
Yeas Craig1985 i think that it is hilarious as well that he thinks ACF is a teenage girl. Here is a good example from the 'Height and Weight: You vs the Pros' thread

AuscycleFan said:
185cm
70kg
WonderLance said:
Thats very tall for a teenage girl. I guess all that height would help you put all those posters of Brad Pit and Cuddles up around your room.
Awesome:p
 
Mar 11, 2009
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hrotha said:
The problem with DAOTEC is that he's here to win the internets.
He wins it on a regular basis.
Where else would I get news about 14 year old Nicaraguan future SUPERSTARS
 
Aug 14, 2010
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Libertine Seguros said:
DAOTEC operates on the same principle as Pitchfork, NME and all the other indie music sources. Those will find every new band and hype them to the moon, on the principle that when they blow up huge, they can say 'I was there first', but when the band never gets anywhere, you forget that they were claimed to be 'the new Smiths' or some other such nonsense.
Not that it really matters here, but I wouldn't say Pitchfork works that way. They don't need to pretend they're making trends, because if at this point any indie source* can be called influencial, it's them. Broken Social Scene say they owe their relatively big career to Schreiber's review. "The Glow, Pt.2" was Pitchfork's album of the year and Phil Elverum went from playing gigs for 15 people and asking if there's anyone who could play drums to selling out shows all over Europe. It's said that Travis Morrison's solo album was a commercial failure in big part thanks to being dissed by Pitchfork. Also, Pitchfork Music Festival is always a big thing and after teaming up with ATP and getting their stage at Primavera, they can work seriously at hyping up whatever they like.
IIRC, there was even a musician who admitted to constantly asking himself whether Pitchfork's going to like it while making music.
And- though they do hype mediocre things too often (however, they have little to do with looking for new Beatles/Smiths/Clash and other cheap tricks like that) and after years of digging deeper and deeper you catch yourself at laughing at certain things from their "Decade in Music" features- I'd never say their hypes are shots in the dark. There're higher standards set for them, plus people who judge and mock them all over the internet are usually the ones who don't really need to have music filtered for them anymore. But after making few jokes yourself you realize that (especially w/o Stylus) they're still as close to good, healthily varied taste as it gets. And that now you're so smart, but at one point you were searching through the site and found an early Modest Mouse review, in which Schreiber clumsily expressed- after mentioning Pixies and Jane's Addiction's influence-that it's something totally fresh and unique. And that it was their writer Ott who made you bite your nails reading about "Slanted and Enchanted: Luxe & Reduxe". Aaand even that it was there when you first heard about Ariel Pink, so what if they kind of hated him.
I guess I've just wanted to say that it's all by miles more valuable and better thought out than what- for example- NME does. Sorry for the OT.

*NME falls into slightly different category for me.
 
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