No way anyone posting in the Clinic is clean

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Mar 16, 2009
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First off, I did not chase RaceRadio down, I was simply following his posts. That is the truth of the matter. I never bridged across to RaceRadio. He was in front of me, people were posting, he typed furiously , and I stayed on the thread. We have archives of the thread that will back that up. There was never more than post length between us. There was no gap closed. There’s a big difference between following posts and closing a thread.” krebs303 said he’d naturally expected the other posters to follow, and was surprised to see that the pair had opened a gap when they reached the day’s trolls a few posts later.
 
Aug 10, 2009
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Posting e deux vitesses

I have always posted clean. Based on the date I joined the forum and my lack of results/low post count, there is clearly posting at two speeds. There is no way some of the post counts can be as high as they are without being on the gear.
 

Dr. Maserati

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Jun 19, 2009
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I would like to point out that Merckx Index has zero credibility as his OP is obviously trolling.

As someone who has never been banned for trolling I deny these ridiculous unfounded allegations.
I would sue Merckx Index except this is both time consuming and expensive - so any further comment will be through my $30,000 a month 'lawyer'.


A statement from Mark Fabricator on behalf of the adorable Dr. Maserati.
We are rich, I mean sick from responding to these same old lies from the same old posters who lack credibility.

My client has posted millions of informative, accurate and well researched posts and has never ever been banned for trolling.

Any donations my client may have made to CyclingNews have been to assist them in their in purchase of a new Amstrad machine to help them with their web updates.

These ridiculous allegations from fat drunk and bitter posters like Merckx Index (if thats even their real name) are a waste of bandwidth.

Dr. Maserati is too busy to tweet a response denying these unfounded allegations as he is currently visiting the Yellow Rose highlighting the plight of single dancing mothers.
 
May 3, 2010
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krebs303 said:
First off, I did not chase RaceRadio down, I was simply following his posts. That is the truth of the matter. I never bridged across to RaceRadio. He was in front of me, people were posting, he typed furiously , and I stayed on the thread. We have archives of the thread that will back that up. There was never more than post length between us. There was no gap closed. There’s a big difference between following posts and closing a thread.” krebs303 said he’d naturally expected the other posters to follow, and was surprised to see that the pair had opened a gap when they reached the day’s trolls a few posts later.
Krebs303 - your location says Mexico but I saw you posting from the mountains in Italy. You were wearing black and at the time and we chatted.

Co-incidentally, there is no evidence that my initials MJM appeared in any Spanish gynaecologists books. Rumours that it said 'Nada o igual a MV' (nothing or the same as Mellow Velo) are totally untrue.
 
Mar 16, 2009
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Dr Maserati: Have you ever had a TUE? (Thesaurus Use Exemption)
krebs303: No, Never
Dr Maserati: Not even for Spellcheck?
krebs303: Well, obviously there was Spellcheck
 
Feb 4, 2010
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I only micro dose the clinic and then it's just for training. You can only expose yourself to so much of that stuff before it begins to take over and you become a freak.
 
Mar 10, 2009
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Cyclingnews hails the soon to be introduced 'posting passport'.

A high level cyclingnews official, on condition of anonymity, revealed that "the posting passport doesn't follow products, but the poster".

"There has been a lot of harsh language back and forth about how posting got to where it is today," the source said. "This is a new day. We are trying to work with the clinic to help in insofar as we can -- to get posting back to where it should be."

Billed as an unprecedented crackdown that could be a model for other forums, posters would need to present the passport to post during the upcoming Giro d'iTalia and Tour de France.

"For each rider, you'll have an individual set of parameters that are his norm ... his posting parameters. There is a norm _ and above and below, it can only go a certain distance," he said.

"If you see that during the tests the post number goes above the norm, then you know he's done something, that he's manipulated something and it's not a natural occurrence."

These measures come after recent unrest in the clinic, with heightened levels of aggression, which can be indicative of increase in the use of banned substances. Some high level posters have tested positive for synthetic posttosterone on their way to winning the monthly posting competition. Found guilty of a doping violation by an arbitration panel, users, who are not appealing the ruling, were officially stripped of the title and banned.

On Monday, cyclingnews will announce it will increase doping checks next year by 50 percent -- to some 15,000 -- with more than half conducted out of competition.

A former French champion who posts for the French team, said many posters wouldn't object to the passport system.

"For us posters, it boils down to what we're already used to -- post tests -- it's nothing new," he said. "Whether I do eight or 12 tests a year, it won't mean much. But if it helps, that's a good thing."
 

Dr. Maserati

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Jun 19, 2009
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Merckx index said:
The logic here is pretty simple:

1) at least a few people posting in the Clinic are not clean because:
a) every organization in the world today has cheaters, individuals who make use of an unfair advantage; the Clinic is no exception
b) some posters on the Clinic have been banned in the past; yet when they return from a ban, the quality of their posts is about the same as it was before they were banned. This proves that whatever they were doing before they got banned they are continuing to do.
c) Some posters here demonstrate an unusually fast learning curve. When they join the forum they are completely ignorant about some subject, but after a little while they become quite familiar with it. This isn’t possible if you’re clean.

2) Given that at least a few people on the Clinic are not clean it follows that most are not clean, because:
a) if only a few were not clean, the great majority would not be able to keep up with them on the forum, yet most are able to do this.
b) everyone posting on this forum has at some time in the past interacted in some manner with someone else posting on this forum. This means that many of these individuals have an association with someone who is not clean. This is prima facie evidence of their not being clean themselves.

3) If most posters on the Clinic are not clean, then no one is clean, because:
a) Though a few people in the Clinic get banned, most do not. This means that mods must be corrupt, allowing people who are not clean to post. If the mods are corrupt, then everyone posting here is suspect.
b) if there is anyone posting here who is clean, he/she would stand out in an obvious manner from the great majority who are not clean. While a few posters here may indeed stand out in this manner, this is more likely because they want to appear clean, rather than their actually being clean.
c) Since everyone interacts with someone else, and almost no one is clean, it follows that anyone a poster associates with is with high probability not clean. Following this logic, it becomes clear that no one can spend much time here and remain clean.
In 2006? ......
 
May 10, 2009
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Do you know how many times you've posted?
Answer: I can't remember.

Less than 5000.
Answer: Maybe

Have you ever looked up to the right and saw the figure?
Answer: I might have glanced a few years ago.

And what did it say?
Answer: Can't recall

Do you know that Greg Lemond has said there's a limit to the amount of times you can post every day?
Answer: Things evolve, computers evolve, typing evolves, as do keyboards.
Greg would have used an amstrad in his day.

What's your opinion on TFF being banned?
Answer: Well there's alot of evidence pointing to TFF being innocent.

And people returning from bans?
Answer: They;ve served their time - everyone deserves a second chance.

When you were sick in the hospital room there are witnesses who say that you admitted to cheating in the clinic....one of the people Andrew Betts said you admitted to a whole host of illegal acts.
Answer: I think they're mistaking - that person never liked me and they're fat.
 
Aug 7, 2010
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Breaking news!

FAUSTO’S SCHNAUZER REFUSES TO ANSWER DISCUSSION BOARD ILLUSTRATED’S QUESTIONS
Fausto’s Schnauzer says he’s focusing on posting on Cyclingnews.com and gives little thought to the fact that he is the subject of an ongoing Federal grand jury investigation. That attention intensified recently as the American magazine Discussion Board Illustrated posted querys to Fausto’s Schnauzer on the state of the investigation and some of the allegations the grand jury is reviewing. Fausto’s Schnauzer was clearly not interested in discussing the topic.

Discussion Board Illustrated reporter Edwin Davis:
There is a report on Discussion Board Illustrated …
Fausto’s Schnauzer: I don’t have anything to say.

Davis: … quite detailed …
Fausto’s Schnauzer: Like I said, I have nothing to say.

Davis: Allegations that you used …
Fausto’s Schnauzer: You got a new question?

Davis: Have you read the article?
Fausto’s Schnauzer: I’ve perused it. There is nothing there.

Davis: H88 being banned last week…
Fausto’s Schnauzer: Nothing to say about that either.

Davis: There is a quote mentioned …
Fausto’s Schnauzer: I told you, you keep asking me.

Davis: Race Radio was…
Fausto’s Schnauzer: Dude, are you that stupid? Which part of ‘I am not commenting’ is not clear to you?

Davis: I am not stupid, I am just asking …
Fausto’s Schnauzer: I am sorry, you’re not stupid, but you can’t hear. Do you have any more questions?

Davis: I am just here to do my job, just like you. I am not stupid. A couple of big stories. What is your mood?
Fausto’s Schnauzer: I’m fine. I don’t have anything to worry about on any level. It has nothing to do with what’s going on with any investigation. We like our credibility.
 

Dr. Maserati

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Jun 19, 2009
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Paul Kimmage interviews an anonymous CyclingNews poster:


When did you first join the forum?
I joined the Forum in June 2009. For the first few months I kept my tone respectful and informative.
Then what happened?
Well, I started posting in the main Lance Armstrong thread and some of the posting was just, well, ridiculous.
How do you mean ridiculous?
Well, I mean there were people saying he was clean and that he was a great guy, it was pretty obvious that they were trolling.
And you decided to start trolling?
Well, it was either troll or be trolled.
Do you remember the first time?
Yes, in July 2009 I went off-topic by brining in the ESPN article about how Lance had equity in Demand Media. I mean it didn't even seem like I was going trolling.
What happened then?
Pretty soon after the Mods opened a separate thread called The Clinic to try and curb the trolling but it almost makes it worse.
Why?
Well I mean you have a dedicated area to discuss everything. I went from posting once or twice a day to posting 5 or 6 times a day.
Were you not scared you would get a ban?
No, its pretty easy to get around things like the word filter for words like dick or p0rn by using the italics or a zero.
The key is to keep it subtle.
Were you ever given a warning?
Occasionally a mod would jump in on a thread saying 'keep it cool' - but they are so busy it is easy to get a few trolling posts through that won't get flagged.
You have to be careful about Susan but if you keep your posts clean most stuff gets through.
You are scared of Susan?
Everyone is scared of Susan.
What about Daniel Benson?
Nah, Dan is a pussycat and he rarely gets involved in the threads he is too busy flying around Europe.
What other trolling did you do?
Overriding the word filter was a favorite and on some of the Lance threads I did go off topic and occasionally I would post a 'Fail' picture, but I drew the line at calling people 'groupies' or 'fanboys' like Race Radio would.
Race Radio admitted that they were trolling?
Yes, we had a chat about it through the Private Message feature.
Do you think CyclingNews should legalize trolling?
Well, yes and no. Some of the items are plain ridiculous - I think the word filter should be scrapped.
Scrapped, why?
Well, I mean you have inoffensive words like ****stan that get moderated. The mods should just concentrate on spam.
Are you glad you have come out and admitted you're trolling?
Huh, this is off the record, right?
 

Polish

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Mar 11, 2009
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--edited by mod: this thread is not about Lance, it's about "what if the clinic was a mirror of...."---
 
Dec 7, 2010
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Meat

The obvious explanation is that it was trace amounts of clenpost in the cut of meat I had shipped in from Spain.

Everyone knows French beef is not up to par with Spanish beef.
 
Polish said:
If you want results and a high post count here in the Clinic, you will need to be obsessed with gunderson. C'mon, everyone is doing it. Don't be a wuss.
We are close to having it under 1% - except for certain countries like Poland.

But, here with this example of one in forty posts, or 2.5%, so we have a bit of work to do yet even though it is mostly under control. it isn't the same kind of problem it used to be.

Dave.
 
My 'targeted posting' allows me to focus on specific threads and perform at a higher level. Compare my post count to many others, and it's obvious that they either 1) don't post enough and therefore don't have the posting fitness to go head to head with me, hence the need to resort to Post Enhancing Drugs, or 2) post so much that they must be be using PEDs to maintain their level of posts.

I think you'll find a handful of posters like me who have 'believable' performances that you'd expect of clean posters mixing it up with cheaters.

edit: and for the record, I should point out that I have never been banned.
 
Oct 29, 2009
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Willy_Voet said:
edit: and for the record, I should point out that I have never been banned.
Which reminds me, and before I forget:

On behalf of the mods I would like to thank you for your generous donation that allowed us to buy laptops to monitor the Clinic with.

Someone still has a receipt for what we got with it, I think. I will ask around.
 

Dr. Maserati

BANNED
Jun 19, 2009
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Francois the Postman said:
Which reminds me, and before I forget:

On behalf of the mods I would like to thank you for your generous donation that allowed us to buy laptops to monitor the Clinic with.

Someone still has a receipt for what we got with it, I think. I will ask around.
One of these?

 
Aug 10, 2010
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Beer?

Merckx index said:
The logic here is pretty simple:

1) at least a few people posting in the Clinic are not clean because:
a) every organization in the world today has cheaters, individuals who make use of an unfair advantage; the Clinic is no exception
b) some posters on the Clinic have been banned in the past; yet when they return from a ban, the quality of their posts is about the same as it was before they were banned. This proves that whatever they were doing before they got banned they are continuing to do.
c) Some posters here demonstrate an unusually fast learning curve. When they join the forum they are completely ignorant about some subject, but after a little while they become quite familiar with it. This isn’t possible if you’re clean.

2) Given that at least a few people on the Clinic are not clean it follows that most are not clean, because:
a) if only a few were not clean, the great majority would not be able to keep up with them on the forum, yet most are able to do this.
b) everyone posting on this forum has at some time in the past interacted in some manner with someone else posting on this forum. This means that many of these individuals have an association with someone who is not clean. This is prima facie evidence of their not being clean themselves.

3) If most posters on the Clinic are not clean, then no one is clean, because:
a) Though a few people in the Clinic get banned, most do not. This means that mods must be corrupt, allowing people who are not clean to post. If the mods are corrupt, then everyone posting here is suspect.
b) if there is anyone posting here who is clean, he/she would stand out in an obvious manner from the great majority who are not clean. While a few posters here may indeed stand out in this manner, this is more likely because they want to appear clean, rather than their actually being clean.
c) Since everyone interacts with someone else, and almost no one is clean, it follows that anyone a poster associates with is with high probability not clean. Following this logic, it becomes clear that no one can spend much time here and remain clean.
Are beer drinkers clean or dirty?
 
Although EPO and HGH are rumored to be the clinic's PEDs of choice, several investigators have pointed to posters' big heads, small testicles, and extreme aggressiveness as evidence of long-term testosterone abuse.
 
Aug 6, 2009
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I've been sent official warning letters from the Cycling News governing body for excessive levels of sarcasm, but I have a medical exemption from my doctor stating that my levels are indeed natural.

I also sleep in a sarcasm tent which lowers the altitude at which I can insult posters without getting banned.
 
Apr 13, 2010
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I'm just wondering what ACF is on and why this seems to be the only thread he's not posting in?
 
Jul 29, 2009
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I feel vidicated. I have thought for some time that there has been posting "a deux Vitesse".

While I have struggling to keep up with the rest of the group's post count, accused of a lack of effort, or professionalism when my threads fail others have taken the glory with their insider knowledge or detailed research. Well now we know the truth behind the "extraterrestrial" quality of their work.

Perhaps someday the situation will really change but until then i will have to satisfy myself with some minor point scoring in threads on some of the less popular and prestigous sub forums.
 
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