No way anyone posting in the Clinic is clean

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May 10, 2009
Sh** is about to hit the fan. TFF is emailing magazines and the CAP (Court of Arbitration for Posting) as we speak. He's going to blow this whole thing apart. The free laptops for the mods, how he avoided detection on the word filter for so long, how he has no regrets and is going public so that his children won't have to cheat in order to post. He knew things were bad when he went to a party with Dr Mas and Race Radio and he was offered women, blow, a laptop and the direct line to the mods. If I was Dr and RR I'd be hiring a lawyer. Juliet Macur is running the story tomorrow.
On behalf of the mods, I have to say the newest allegations that moderation procedures are flawed are completely false. It is simply not true that modding has been compromised by computers left on and logged into the forum without proper supervision.

To clarify, no one has had unauthorized access to moderation tools. This is simply another attempt by dirty posters to avoid punishment.
Hugh Januss said:
I just got out of the shower.
JPM London said:
Thanks for a funny thread!

And by the way; I'm "tranquillo"...
krebs303 said:
Everybody wants to know what I'm on. What am I on? I'm on the Forum busting my *** six hours a day. What are you on?
Mellow Velo said:
UCI confirm, Polish's "B" sample positive for trace elements of Flicker.
...above are a few of my favorite funny short-liners posted in this thread. :D
All I'll say is I am regulated in my posting by a number of authorities - Cycling News, the World Forum Posting Association, the World Clean-Posting Agency, the Union International des Serveurs Télématique, my national authority, the authority for posting in the country in which I am resident and the group I personally pay to keep my posts valid and the moderators happy that my posts remain valid.

There's only a few groups of guys who I feel do enough in their internal testing that keep the post quality clean. Guys like Hitch, Dekker Tifosi, I don't know if they're getting tested as often as me.

I don't even want to talk about the team of ACF Mafia.
Dec 7, 2010
Grey Manrod

CN moderators can expect to hear from my legal representation.

Chade.O.Grey assures me that someone from Grey Manrod will issue some type of litigation or an actual lawsuit against CN for the use of skimwords without my permission.
Just for the record:

Yes, this computer is mine. But, this computer isn't really for posting. I was just storing it in case I might have to.


(P.S. the Polish with a trace of flicker made me choke on my coffee)
Oct 29, 2009
Libertine Seguros said:
There's only a few groups of guys who I feel do enough in their internal testing that keep the post quality clean. Guys like Hitch, Dekker Tifosi, I don't know if they're getting tested as often as me.
Dekker_T is the the most edited poster in history.
Jun 21, 2009
look I am not having these accusations thrown at me. I previewed all posts twice before submitting them. I even did this when I had snow on my keyboard earlier in the year.
May 10, 2009
I've just been informed one of my posts is positive - but I know for a fact it was my twin who I thought had vanished, who posted under my name.

Why did the mods not contact me before releasing the sample result to the forum first.
Francois the Postman said:
Dekker_T is the the most edited poster in history.
Or maybe it was a female poster with the same surname, but he'll take the credit for being tested that much anyway?

Personally, I started out posting clean, but it was hard to get a foothold in the forum, especially with known dirty posters like DAOTEC constantly winning the internetz. I recognised that if I wanted to compete I was going to have to get dirty. When it became known that I was not posting clean, it was interesting to see how many parts of the forum completely changed their attitude when it came to dealing with me. People seemed friendlier, no longer so closed off. I'm not going to pretend I made mistakes, because it was a conscious decision born out of wanting to be a better poster and to move up to the next level. I did it purely for selfish purposes, and I can only apologise to those I have defrauded with my postings.

(my original post was based on Klöden's issues with Saunier Duval and CSF-Navigare in 2008, btw).
I deny the accusations that my wife has been assisting with my posting here, the substances she was discovered with were clearly to assist her elderly mother to post on forums. This has nothing to do with me.
Sep 25, 2009
thank you cn for not giving me a life time ban. those 9 posters who faked my dna have an agenda against me and they love cancer.
I've spent the last couple of years trying to keep up in the Clinic. It's been such a struggle since getting to this level.
I've tried hard to resist the temptations of those around me, but failed...

My story: "Rough Post" will be released next monday at WH Smith and Borders
May 20, 2010
I'll come clean.
More often than not, I have a few glasses of red wine before I log on to calm my jittery nerves.
I wouldn't exactly call it cheating, as one of my old buddies once told me, "Everyone does it".
Mar 11, 2009
Can't post on Mineral Water alone......

I only post to the Clinic when I need to waste time.

How often is that?

All the time...
I will publish my passport data

To prove to the world that I did not cheat when posting, I will publish my data. I will also hire Don Caitlin, even though I understand he is impossible to negotiate with and will probably never sign my version of the agreement.

In good faith, here is my data from last year. You can clearly see that there is NO regular pattern in this data that would coincide with any artificial posting program.

And, I am going to change my name to D-Starred, to celebrate my Scottish heritage with a real Scottish surname and because I am a miracle and not an asterisk.

Apr 13, 2010
Just figured out exactly why the Italian police are so busy confiscating laptops when they descent on poor, pure, innocent riders training in the mountains...
Mar 16, 2009
I admit to storing posts in the off season. I keep them in a cold file stored till I need them during season. Then I can micro-post during GT's and keep my post count up. Also use Cuisine Corner and Freeform/Chaos threads as masking agents to keep from to high numbers in the clinic. I once posted from a Tijuana Taxi stopped on the side of the road.
Jun 17, 2009
I'm sick and tired of The Clinic always getting singled out for being dirty - they're not even allowed to TALK about doping in the other forums! Can you say O M E R T A ?!?!?!
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