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No way anyone posting in the Clinic is clean

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Jul 6, 2010
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Whew! Just got my blank TUE...

Maybe the mods can help me out - do you like dd/mm, or mm/dd? A quick answer would be appreciated. I don't want to blow this one...

PS: Merckx Index has been ruling this thread.
 
Willy_Voet said:
Recently released CN postpassport data has revealed some unbelievable numbers for top posters. Don Catlin and other experts have always held that anything above 6.5 ppd is suspect. It is alarming to see that some posters over this limit have been banned (forget to make the "donations" to CN?), while some of the posters with the highest values appear to post with impunity. Biggest surprise was to see a moderator on the list (protected poster?!)

The Hitch - 18.1
Thoughtforfood - 9.80 *banned
Ferminal - 8.6 ppd *moderator!!
Libertine Seguros - 8.4
Race Radio - 7.7
Dr. Maserati - 7.4
Melo Velo - 6.5
Timmy-loves-Rabo - 6.3
Moondance - 5.9
Scribe - 4.9
18.1 for the hitch?!? that is an extra-terrestrial performance...
 
Jun 27, 2009
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It's not my fault. Ok, the post count on my passport was high. What does that prove? Nothing. I had a high post count, that's all. There's lots of factors that might lead to a high post count besides doping. Maybe I had insomnia? Or just too much time on my hands? Who are you to jump to the big D word? So I have a high PPD ratio? So does every poster in the Clinic.

Nothing but unsubstantiated accusations, all. Did I indulge in dopage? Absolutely not. A little caffeine, maybe. A beer here and there, ok. Doped? No way, how much pride could I take in my posts if they were fueled by banned substances?

I didn't do it. If it don't fit u must aquit.
 
Dec 7, 2010
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I only joined the forum in December, 2010. I represent the new generation of posters. There is nothing to be gained by dwelling on the past.

It is my ambition to be the first American, as part of an American social group, on an American made computer to win The Clinic in 2011.
 
.


Willy_Voet said:
The Hitch - 18.1

ACF 15.something (dont know why he isnt being included)

Thoughtforfood - 9.80 *banned
Ferminal - 8.6 ppd *moderator!!
Libertine Seguros - 8.4
Race Radio - 7.7
Dr. Maserati - 7.4
Melo Velo - 6.5
Timmy-loves-Rabo - 6.3
Moondance - 5.9
Scribe - 4.9
I see on my first visit to the thread that much speculation is being put specifically on me


I will let my lawyer speak for me.


WonderLance said:
don't read that cr@p, its just a bunch of anti-Polish, hero hating BS. Those guys bang on about the Post per day samples because they are tin-foil hat conspiracy theorists who just handle the fact that their favorite doped up poster- Ferminal, Timmy Loves Rabo, Race Radio, Libertine Seguros, Hugh Januss couldnt beet a clean Hitch.

WonderLance said:
you guys must be alergic to winning or something. The Hitch is keeping the sport alive during the August to June period. His threads are probably some of the only attention CNF is getting.

Not to mention the billions of sponsorship dollars he brings in with he superstar personality. Cycling would be dead without Hitch and his money and you know it.

Grow up and love excellence.


WonderLance said:
.

Hitch posts so much because he is an awesome athlete and is able to write a little bit faster than all the other posters. i know this becasue Phil Ligget told me its simple maths people if you write a little bit faster than everone else you will post more . He also told me that Hitch trains everyday and other posters dont do that which is why they take drugs and cheat. Hitch would never take drugs because he doesnt want to get cancer.

It also doesnt matter if Hitch posts any more because he is doing it to rase awareness of cancer because cancer lovers like Granville and TFF are not yet aware enough of cancer.


WonderLance said:
In answere to you're question I say that he HAS TO FAIL A TEST, just once. The we will have evidence of doping. You can catch Stalone standing at an airport holding 100 doeses of roids but can you say he doped?

No.

You have to test him, they could be for his mum.

The Hitch has to fail a test, just like BPC and Buckwheat did.


WonderLance said:
what would you know about Hitch. Nothing thats what. Hitch is a great man bacause he lets us know whats going on with the new Team Hitch through Twitter. I have a commerce degree, so I understand.

People in this forum just want to bag Hitch but I bet they havnt even read his Twitter and therefore dont know how great he is. They dont even think he will win the poster of the year for another seven years.

Twitter

WonderLance said:
Granville clearly doped cos Hitch didnt and Granville thinks Hitch doped and Hitch didnt so therefore Granville must have doped. I think we can all agree on that.
WonderLance said:
You guys all must all have really tiny ball to HATE on a man who has done so much for cycling.
.


WonderLance said:
Hey you guys should be nice to the English speaking riders. They are obviously better as they come from the same country or a similar one than you. English speaking riders would never to drugs or other bad things like kick puppies.

WonderLance said:
The Hitch is good for cycling because he doesnt engage in all that nasty stuff that riders from countrys that dont speak English come from as well as Bruce Murdoch. and he posts lots of threads in cnf so that they will still be able to gain sponsorship races during the August to June period.
WonderLance said:
The Hitch finished first in the race. Where did you finnish?

WonderLance said:
The Hitch was the leader, he said so. To deny it is to go against a great champion which is a dishonor to cycling.

TFF should have waited. Hitch would have and Hitch knows how to win CNF friends.
Do you hate cancer? I dont think so

We conclude.


WonderLance said:
This thread is tainted. Only The Hitch will ride out of this thread a hero.
 
Sep 25, 2009
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cn doping/trolling survival rules 101:

1. (when nailed for the first time)
‘i may have tested positive, but it was not what you found. i reeeally, reeeeallly apologise. can i just hitch a ride , please ?.

2.. (when cornered by the dna test and facing a life time ban for a multiple personality disorder)

i reeeally, reeeeallly apologise, i promise OUR full insights into our multiple personality disorder. can i just hitch a ride, pleeeease ?’

3. (when fingered by the fellow posters/dopers)

‘they have an agenda. yes, i’m dirty but so are them. Hmmmm, wait a minute, but if you give me their names, i reeeally, reeeeallly apologise
can i just hitch a ride pleeeease ?'
 
Jul 9, 2009
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python said:
cn doping/trolling survival rules 101:

1. (when nailed for the first time)
‘i may have tested positive, but it was not what you found. i reeeally, reeeeallly apologise. can i just hitch a ride , please ?.

2.. (when cornered by the dna test and facing a life time ban for a multiple personality disorder)

i reeeally, reeeeallly apologise, i promise OUR full insights into our multiple personality disorder. can i just hitch a ride, pleeeease ?’

3. (when fingered by the fellow posters/dopers)

‘they have an agenda. yes, i’m dirty but so are them. Hmmmm, wait a minute, but if you give me their names, i reeeally, reeeeallly apologise
can i just hitch a ride pleeeease ?'
Leave it to snakeboy to bring down a goofball thread with ......with.....well I don't know, WTF are you on about this time? Hitch a ride? Are you saying The Hitch is part of whatever conspiracy you imagine is going on here? You need to wear a tinfoil hat because I think the aluminumfoil one you have been wearing is giving you Alzheimers.
 
Mar 7, 2011
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Personally, I don't believe that an extraordinarily high level of satire relative to the competition necessarily indicates that a poster is on a "program". Just look at Jonathan Swift -- if someone wrote Gulliver's Travels today, you'd all be screaming that he was on everything from Ritalin to ginkgo to Reader's Digest's "Increase Your Word Power". But none of that stuff even existed in Swift's time. Sure, he probably took opium (like every great writer of the era), but there's no evidence that actually increases wit more than maybe 1-2% -- much less than the gap between Swift and any of his contemporaries.

In fact, I doubt that even modern methods such as e-book readers (and are there any Clinic posters without some link to Project Gutenberg?) can turn a B/B-plus creative writing major into the founder of a meme or the original poster of a five-star thread. Today's standout posters would have been standout pamphleteers a hundred years ago; the general standard of sarcasm was just a little less incisive back then. (You'll know the forum is cleaning up when we go back to fighting over who told the funniest fart joke, and the preternatural irony of posters like "Merckx index" appears only in the archives.)
 
Jun 19, 2009
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Willy_Voet said:
Recently released CN postpassport data has revealed some unbelievable numbers for top posters. Don Catlin and other experts have always held that anything above 6.5 ppd is suspect. It is alarming to see that some posters over this limit have been banned (forget to make the "donations" to CN?), while some of the posters with the highest values appear to post with impunity. Biggest surprise was to see a moderator on the list (protected poster?!)

The Hitch - 18.1
Thoughtforfood - 9.80 *banned
Ferminal - 8.6 ppd *moderator!!
Libertine Seguros - 8.4
Race Radio - 7.7
Dr. Maserati - 7.4
Melo Velo - 6.5
Timmy-loves-Rabo - 6.3
Moondance - 5.9
Scribe - 4.9
I have decided to get my good friend - we stopped a professional relationship years ago - to explain these numbers to you.

JV_1793 said:
I don't know why I bother wasting my sideburns to talk down to you people but here goes.

As we all know a 6.7 or more is looked at as Extra Terrestrial, but what you armchair analysists have missed is to add in 'lurking'.
Dr. Mas was 'lurking' here since this forum opened in April 2009, long before they started posting, when averaged out this brings the figure down to 6.8.

6.8 might look a little on the high side but it should be pointed out the Dr. Mas is one quarter cyborg as that they were born in a wifi hotspot.
 
Susan Westemeyer said:
Thank you.

Now would you convince my husband, teen-aged son and cat of this?

Susan
Cats aren't scared of anyone, I thought everyone knew this.

Except 'fraidy cats, of course, which are scared of everyone. But a 'fraidy cat would never get involved with anyone in the Clinic.

If you want to be feared and respected in your own home, I strongly suggest you get a dog. Just don't give it a name like Floyd, or when you turn around, it's likely to bite you in the ****.

I want to warn Clinic members that there is a disturbing new trend emerging here, cross thread specialists. For example, a scientist may post on a legal thread, pretending to know something about the law. Everyone knows that scientists make poor lawyers; they have the wrong body type to excel in that discipline. So if you see a scientist posting in a legal thread (or even worse, a lawyer posting in a scientific thread), you can be certain s/he is on a very exclusive program. For the same reason, I would be extremely suspicious of any outstanding performance by a scientist, lawyer, business person or other highly specialized professional in a GT (Grand Thread).

And btw, there are definitely people here on an exclusive program. I was able to prove this conclusively by taking a poll. More than 99% of the members I talked to denied having any connection with the best-known doping enablers. This demonstrates that whoever is associated with these enablers is not sharing them with anyone else.
 
Aug 7, 2010
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Cowgirlup said:
I am clean. I'm Australian you know.
Uh huh. What about that time that your gear-bag was switched with your team-mate's bag? Care to comment on the lap-top that he found in your bag.


Yeah, didn't think so.:mad:
 
Mar 16, 2009
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The rumors That TFF and RaceRadio dumped my saved posts in the recycle bin during the TDF are not true
 
Jul 6, 2010
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Merckx index said:
And btw, there are definitely people here on an exclusive program. I was able to prove this conclusively by taking a poll. More than 99% of the members I talked to denied having any connection with the best-known doping enablers. This demonstrates that whoever is associated with these enablers is not sharing them with anyone else.
D*mn... Busted!

Since I'm pseudonymed, I can admit to being part of the evil 1% MI alludes to.

I've crashed on my head WAY too many times to even be able to read (let alone post) without some serious exogenous help.

Who's my prepatorre? None of your business! I've never tested positive, and more importantly, I've said too many stupid things to too many smart people for it to even matter...
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
bearing in mind my haematocrit jumped from 42 to 57 over the course of two months late last year Im saying nothing. :D
 
Nov 26, 2010
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A top level clinic poster got a moto-courrier delivery second rest day, last years Tour. Rumours says there's pictures of a souped-up Ipad straight from the refrigerated panniers.
 
Dec 7, 2010
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Rx

I was about to post but I just received a phone call from my pharmacist. I hope the authorities are not listening in????
 
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