Non-Clinic off the bike drama predictions for 2012

[thehog]

Feel free to add:

Wiggins and Cav fallout before the Tour
Wiggins and Cav fallout at the Tour
Thor upset by team tactics
Thor upset by Gilbert taking one day opportunities
Thor upset by Gilbet taking stage victories
Thor upset full stop with everything
Froome upset by being made to ride for Wiggins even when ahead on time
Andy Shleck upset with team tactics
Andy Shleck upset with being made to train

 

[Cobblestones]

thehog making a prediction which doesn't pan out.

 

[Havetts]

Gesink to finally finish a GT without crashing at all.

(Bold prediction, I know )

 

[gerundium]

Gesink to finally finish a GT without crashing at all.

(Bold prediction, I know )

that's not really off the bike is it?

anyway gesink will be upset after the team decides to start riding for mollema at the tour.

 

[Vino attacks everyone]

Gesink trying to go fast in the downhills (if that ain`t off the bike, i don`t know what is)

 

[theyoungest]

Andy and Fränk upset with their having to mark Evans while Horner rides away into the sunset.

 

[Boeing]

Evans upset over ban of his dog on team bus.

 

[Thomsena]

Something about race radios...

 

[Angliru]

Bruyneel states arrogantly in the lead up to the Tour that it is his intention to sweep the Tour podium, to "dominate". Unfortunately, Andy goes nuclear when he loses major time in all the time trials as a result of his less than dedicated efforts in improving his skills vs the clock. After losing 5 minutes in the long time trial he cries to the press that "The Tour shouldn't be decided in the TT's-or descents-or on mountains that I don't like!" Kloden is left as their only hope but when the pressure is on to deliver, he loses 2 minutes on the Tour's final mtf, and falls out of podium contention.

Gilbert fails to get his early stage win at the Tour and goes into a funk, conserving his energy in anticipation of chasing stage wins on upcoming stages that are to his liking. Unfortunately this is at the expense of his helping Evans in his defense of his Tour title. Hushovd has done his part in helping Evans and is not hesitant to publicly criticize Gilbert's lack of team spirit. All the drama is more than Evans can handle and he self-destructs, having hissy fits when the media pressures him for time after every stage.

 

[Swabian Lass]

Millar and Wiggins fallout ....again.

Thor is upset.

Andy says that descending is too dangerous.

 

[karlboss]

Andy and Fränk upset with their having to mark Evans while Horner rides away into the sunset.

I can actually see this happening. On one of the stages Radioshack send a couple of helpers up the road in preperation for a Galibier like attack, and then all of a sudden as the "contenders" are watching each other they suddenly realise that they've given Horner, Kloden, Zubeldia 15 minutes. It will be hilarious watching Frank and Andy lead the charge back.
I don't think there will be any clashes at BMC, maybe cobbled classics, at the tour I think everyone will know the score.

Radioshack to send a truly underwhelming lineup to the Giro and Vuelta, despite their depth.

 

[Ryo Hazuki]

bruyneel trying to cause a schism between frank and andy which will bite bruyneel in the *** and both brother are leaving again after one year

 

[skidmark]

The UCI is still paranoid about a breakaway league, and bring things to a head during the Tour by ruling that cars can only hand things to riders out the passenger window. The teams and riders protest by slow-pedalling the queen stage. This ironically makes the Tour more exciting because riders are forced to attack everywhere else because of the neutralized stage.

 

[craig1985]

Somebody accusing Cav of taking a tow behind a car and then Cav threatening to sort it out behind the team buses after the stage.

 

[The Hitch]

Jose Rujano to come 3rd to Basso and Gadret on the Stelvio and then name himself the 2nd best climber in the world.

 

[Night Rider]

Tomeke going on a two week bender after a SRAM failure within sight of winning another Paris-Roubaix.

Porte spitting the dummy after having to cede position to Wigan, and pull for Cav.

Baby Schleck to abandon the tour rather than finish off the podium, probably somewhere handy to a pony ride. Frank of course abandons to keep him company.

 

[Ryaguas]

Frandy having a mechanical at the same time and the whole peloton putting the hammer down to make them lose 10min with Horner and Kloden helping to put time on them taking big pulls at the front...! HA!

 

[Panda Claws]

Frandy having a mechanical at the same time and the whole peloton putting the hammer down to make them lose 10min with Horner and Kloden helping to put time on them taking big pulls at the front...! HA!

Haha that made my day.

 

[Tigerion]

Radioshack/Trek alliance falls apart after former leopard trek riders make derogatory comment about cancer sufferer on twitter

Tour of Beijing becomes more of a joke when it is discovered that Jonathan Vaughters had so little interest he dressed random Chinese school kids in Garmin uniforms and had them ride instead of his team

EBH puts the moves on Peta Todd causing chaos at Sky

 

[ElChingon]

*Team upset by Thor gaining 20 lbs, not training and not racing to potential after he received signing bonus for agreeing to race with Evans and Gilbert.

*Gilbert upset no one lead him out or escorted him to the win at the 2012 LBL race.

*Andy upset no one is paying attention to him now that Joe-Han has him on a no-Tweet, no interview, no fan club meeting diet.

*Andy resorts to crashing his bike in front of random people while out training (staged so no injuries for those of you thinking the worse) to get in the headlines during his top secret Joe-Han hill climb training camp.

*Fabian joins Andy in headline hunting as the whole lot of ex-Leopard riders are at arms due to Joe-Han policy of not being able to leave the team bus till 5 minutes before the race starts. Photo-ops at an all time high for Fabian.

*Wiggins and Cav enjoy their time on the same team so much we never see them again. BFF's!

 

[craig1985]

Assuming he's still with the same girl when he turned pro with Highroad, EBH would be stupid to cheat on her.

 

[Tigerion]

Assuming he's still with the same girl when he turned pro with Highroad, EBH would be stupid to cheat on her.

I thought he was single? Wasn't there a big secret push by the rest of the team to try and line him up a date for the team dinner at the tour?

 

[Richeypen]

I thought he was single? Wasn't there a big secret push by the rest of the team to try and line him up a date for the team dinner at the tour?

Not really secret. Thomas did a video asking people to send in photos

 

[clipperton]

- robbie mcewen to be told by shayne bannan that the primary objective of his coaching role is to train bobridge, meyer and durbridge into second-tier sprinters.
- cavendish to get increasingly riled by opposing teams telling him that when they beat him and want to look that little bit more "impressive" on the podium, they visualise peta todd.
- pat mcquaid to.... well, just be pat mcquaid really.

 

[Havetts]

that's not really off the bike is it?

Oh wow I'm stupid, apologies.

- Evans getting mad at Gilbert for having GT ambitions after acing the Spring Classics after which Phil needs new ambitions!
- Andy Schleck getting mad at Frank for having a beer late at night during the Tour de Suisse.