Phil and Paul

[ggusta]

You give waaaaaaay too much credit, Pedro

In my head this is what it looks like when they are getting ready for a days work

I think when they dream of how awesome they are at night, this is what they are imagining in their fantasies.

If only....

 

[Kender]

I thought they did alot better than normal last night. I dont recall hearing any comments like on a day like today. maybe they are reading this thread

As for a Magnus comment... he corrected himself immediately and recovered nicely with a comment that he hoped he was watching so he could see they hadn't forgotten about him. nice touch i thought

as for the silly comment that they didn't mention Nibali's descending skills... maybe you you off smoking some weed at the time. they mentioned it alot.

I actually enjoyed their commentary on this stage, but then it has to be alot easier to commentate when you have fiery characters like Tommy, Jens, and Sanchez in the break.

 

[Tei6chai]

I thought they did alot better than normal last night.

My favourite Philism today:

"it looks like Rogers has punctured. It's either the front wheel or the rear wheel"

That's from memory, so it may not be verbatim, but the gist is accurate.

 

[Caruut]

Jurgen Rolland too Cant be easy to continually be talking about the racing though while presumably getting some messages from your director etc.

There was a point where he talked about Jurgen Roelandts dropping out the back with Greipel.

They were totally upstaged by a Freudian slip from Chris Boardman in the post-stage analysis for me today. When talking about a "Little dig" that Cadel put in which the camera didn't pick up, Boardman said "Yeah, it's really not enough to put in a little d*ck, sorry, a little dig at this point."

 

[Caruut]

It really frustrated me today when VDB attacked and Phil decided to ignore it and spend the minute casually talking about KOM points.

That was just plain weird.

 

[egtalbot]

I watched most of the last hour and I thought they were at just about their best for the whole tour. I didn't hear anything massively egregious.

The last 10-15 minutes or so I jotted down any phrases that struck me, and only one was objectively false - after Jens attacked (shortly after catching the 4 leaders), the camera was away for a few then swung back and one of them said, "Jens Voigt is trying to launch another attack." when he was barely hanging on to the back of the other four. It's what I said yesterday, they're trying for too much drama.

Three other good ones that struck me as stupid, though not objectively "wrong":

Paul, on Voigt's age: "It's not age that stops you, it's the mental approach to the sport."
Oh good, then if I get my head together I should be able to make a Pro team by the time I hit 50.

Phil on Vinokourov stretching his quads in a manner quite common in the peloton: "He'll snap 'em off if he keeps doing that."

Phil in a breathless voice on Voigt: "it wouldn't surprise me in the least if he doesn't win the stage."
He meant "does" win the stage. A minor misspeak, but Phil has so many of them and so many are - like this one - trying to create something out of nothing.



This was just a subset of items from a ten minute stretch on one of their best days.

 

[ggusta]

had to pause dvr to relate this, stunnngly beautiful overhead shot of the peloton on the climb o a very snaking climb

and phil comments, and I quote, "Looks like your intestines, doesn't it?"

between the unending pee break comments and this I think we all need to think of the poor housekeeping staffs at the hotels where these two stay. Talk about a job where you need a suitcase of courage. And a surgical mask.

 

[auscyclefan94]

Instead of Jurgen van den Broeck, it was Jurgen Broeck. ;D

 

[Warhawk]

Jurgen Rolland too Cant be easy to continually be talking about the racing though while presumably getting some messages from your director etc.

Wasn't there a Jurgenbroeck as well?

EDIT: damn, beat to it.

 

[auscyclefan94]

After Phil started talking about all the different and new countries dominating world cycling, Paul called it a 'New World Order'. I must admit, that was quite amusing.

 

[joe_papp]

P&p bingo!

had to pause dvr to relate this, stunnngly beautiful overhead shot of the peloton on the climb o a very snaking climb

and phil comments, and I quote, "Looks like your intestines, doesn't it?"

between the unending pee break comments and this I think we all need to think of the poor housekeeping staffs at the hotels where these two stay. Talk about a job where you need a suitcase of courage. And a surgical mask.

The best thing about this thread is that it makes me laugh. Thrice now in the past minute I've laughed out loud reading what you guys have written. And at the same time you begin to realize the awesomeness of P&P if one lets go of the desire for professional commentary aimed at a sophisticated audience and instead revels in the unexpected strange and outlandish P&P-speak.

Someone needs to come up with a word for what it is we're discussing (the P&P commentary and everything good, bad and ugly that it's comprised of). Liggettisms is lame. A quick Google search and I came-up w/ three interesting references to P&P that I thought I'd share (and these must be OLD!):

1) http://www.geocities.com/fourlakes_99/home/cycling/pnpbingo.htm - Phil and Paul BINGO! lmfao

Phil and Paul Bingo (imagine the following each occupying one square on a bingo card...)

Picture of Complete and Utter Agony
Suitcase of Courage
Massive Crowd
Carcass
Like a Stone
Stretch the Elastic
Tap Out the Rhythm
He's Popped
F*ing-Hell
FREE TILE!

Undulating
The Express
Resplendent
Absolutely Remarkable
Suffering Like an Animal
Desperately Close
Real Workman-Like Group
Pounding His Fist on the Table
Light the Blue Touch-Paper
Serious Blow to the Morale
Ripped the Legs Off
Boom-Boom and Out Go the Lights

Engine Room
Like A Trojan
Narstee
Waving the White Flag
Done his Job
Tighten the Screws
Cross Swords
Argee Bargee
Exploded the Group
Ticket Collector
Impetus
Like a Demon
Hand Grenade Into...
Spot of Bother
My Goodness Me

2) http://www.fatcyclist.com/2010/05/20/ode-to-phil-and-paul/ - Ode to Phil and Paul

"...There’s more, too. No matter what happens, they handle it. Need to announce that the next show is about competitive fish cleaning? They do it. Need to talk about a race that they can’t see and have no information on, due to rain keeping the cameras off? No problem.

Need to announce that, due to the very important necessity of Versus wanting to show a lengthy NHL promo, followed by a hockey game, they won’t be showing the final three minutes of a breakaway comprised of three podium favorites? They do it with grace, reflecting none of the rage I was experiencing as I, dumbstruck, watched the screen go black with under three Km to go...."

3) http://www.liggettfan.com/ - Phil Liggett Fan Page

"...Welcome to my Phil Liggett Fan Page. Phil Liggett is the most popular English speaking cycling commentator in the world. In his younger days, he was an aspiring cycle racer and wrote articles for local cycling magazines. His racing colleagues would often secretly tell Phil when they were planning a breakaway, and let him join the break, letting him do no work in the break. They did this so that Phil would write about them in his next article. At one point, Phil was even offered a modest pro contract and declined, because he realized he had a brighter future in sports journalism. What sets Phil aside from the rest is his poetic language and often subtle allusions. His knowledge of cycling is immense, and his passion for the sport is infectious..."

 

[yourwelcome]

I really don't mind Phil and Paul, they provide a soothing nostalgic noise and some bonus tourist guide info to beautiful France. I can work out what's actually happening well enough from the visuals anyway.

That said, I've really been enjoying Matt Keenan's commentary and wouldn't be at all upset if they give him more time.

 

[Chris85]

And Jurgenbrook is making an attack!

 

[Boeing]

The best thing about this thread is that it makes me laugh. Thrice now in the past minute I've laughed out loud reading what you guys have written. And at the same time you begin to realize the awesomeness of P&P if one lets go of the desire for professional commentary aimed at a sophisticated audience and instead revels in the unexpected strange and outlandish P&P-speak.

Someone needs to come up with a word for what it is we're discussing (the P&P commentary and everything good, bad and ugly that it's comprised of). Liggettisms is lame. A quick Google search and I came-up w/ three interesting references to P&P that I thought I'd share (and these must be OLD!):

1) http://www.geocities.com/fourlakes_99/home/cycling/pnpbingo.htm - Phil and Paul BINGO! lmfao

Phil and Paul Bingo (imagine the following each occupying one square on a bingo card...)

Picture of Complete and Utter Agony
Suitcase of Courage
Massive Crowd
Carcass
Like a Stone
Stretch the Elastic
Tap Out the Rhythm
He's Popped
F*ing-Hell
FREE TILE!

Undulating
The Express
Resplendent
Absolutely Remarkable
Suffering Like an Animal
Desperately Close
Real Workman-Like Group
Pounding His Fist on the Table
Light the Blue Touch-Paper
Serious Blow to the Morale
Ripped the Legs Off
Boom-Boom and Out Go the Lights

Engine Room
Like A Trojan
Narstee
Waving the White Flag
Done his Job
Tighten the Screws
Cross Swords
Argee Bargee
Exploded the Group
Ticket Collector
Impetus
Like a Demon
Hand Grenade Into...
Spot of Bother
My Goodness Me

2) http://www.fatcyclist.com/2010/05/20/ode-to-phil-and-paul/ - Ode to Phil and Paul

"...There’s more, too. No matter what happens, they handle it. Need to announce that the next show is about competitive fish cleaning? They do it. Need to talk about a race that they can’t see and have no information on, due to rain keeping the cameras off? No problem.

Need to announce that, due to the very important necessity of Versus wanting to show a lengthy NHL promo, followed by a hockey game, they won’t be showing the final three minutes of a breakaway comprised of three podium favorites? They do it with grace, reflecting none of the rage I was experiencing as I, dumbstruck, watched the screen go black with under three Km to go...."

3) http://www.liggettfan.com/ - Phil Liggett Fan Page

"...Welcome to my Phil Liggett Fan Page. Phil Liggett is the most popular English speaking cycling commentator in the world. In his younger days, he was an aspiring cycle racer and wrote articles for local cycling magazines. His racing colleagues would often secretly tell Phil when they were planning a breakaway, and let him join the break, letting him do no work in the break. They did this so that Phil would write about them in his next article. At one point, Phil was even offered a modest pro contract and declined, because he realized he had a brighter future in sports journalism. What sets Phil aside from the rest is his poetic language and often subtle allusions. His knowledge of cycling is immense, and his passion for the sport is infectious..."

Well the Gauntlet has dropped as Joe_Papp throws down his gloves and slaps the peloton in the face one last time.

nice post but you forgot a few

 

[Boeing]

I have noticed that the more excited Paul gets, the more violent the imagery he uses to describe the action.

Yesterday we got: "For these six riders, this climb must feel like being hit in the face with a hammer"

He does this a lot "If you want to beat me Mr [insert rider name] I am going to throw my biggest gear at you" etc.

Do you think he was bullied at school?

based on the often poetic descriptive references of the male anatomy I fear to say it was a little more than bullying.

and for as many names they have trouble pronouncing there are that many rider names they say with utter flair and charm of a valentines card

 

[Northern rider]

The best thing about this thread is that it makes me laugh. Thrice now in the past minute I've laughed out loud reading what you guys have written. And at the same time you begin to realize the awesomeness of P&P if one lets go of the desire for professional commentary aimed at a sophisticated audience and instead revels in the unexpected strange and outlandish P&P-speak.

Someone needs to come up with a word for what it is we're discussing (the P&P commentary and everything good, bad and ugly that it's comprised of). Liggettisms is lame. A quick Google search and I came-up w/ three interesting references to P&P that I thought I'd share (and these must be OLD!):

1) http://www.geocities.com/fourlakes_99/home/cycling/pnpbingo.htm - Phil and Paul BINGO! lmfao

Phil and Paul Bingo (imagine the following each occupying one square on a bingo card...)

Picture of Complete and Utter Agony
Suitcase of Courage
Massive Crowd
Carcass
Like a Stone
Stretch the Elastic
Tap Out the Rhythm
He's Popped
F*ing-Hell
FREE TILE!

Undulating
The Express
Resplendent
Absolutely Remarkable
Suffering Like an Animal
Desperately Close
Real Workman-Like Group
Pounding His Fist on the Table
Light the Blue Touch-Paper
Serious Blow to the Morale
Ripped the Legs Off
Boom-Boom and Out Go the Lights

Engine Room
Like A Trojan
Narstee
Waving the White Flag
Done his Job
Tighten the Screws
Cross Swords
Argee Bargee
Exploded the Group
Ticket Collector
Impetus
Like a Demon
Hand Grenade Into...
Spot of Bother
My Goodness Me

QUOTE]

Or alternatively, if you're watching in a pub or at home with a bunch of mates, why not cut out the phrases, deal them out and use them for a drinking game everytime a cliche is trotted out.

 

[alberto.legstrong]

Well the Gauntlet has dropped as Joe_Papp throws down his gloves and slaps the peloton in the face one last time.

nice post but you forgot a few

Specialized couldn't have done a better ad with these 2 narrating the little kid riding the bike. Really a brilliantly done ad.

Is there one person here who hasn't heard these two umpteen times and had them commentate on one of our own rides? (or EVERY one of their own) I have the same hill as I get back to my home all the time and depending on how tapped I am at the end it can be a pain. It puts me in a spot of bother, but sometimes I throw down the gauntlet, turn myself inside out, reach into my suitcase of courage, mispronounce my own name a few times and then as I reach the summit there is the very technical descent and of course it's always a daredevil descent by me.

This hill is about .4 miles long at a max of about 6% for 150 feet and the descent is arrow straight at about 3%.

It's all relative.

 

[webvan]

Haha...the "spot of bother" is the one I like best, that and when Heras blew up in 2003, "THOSE LEGS ARE SHOT" !

Amazingly at the time there was an audio feed for P&P, I miss these guys, wonder if steephill have a feed for them...

 

[alberto.legstrong]

The best thing about this thread is that it makes me laugh. Thrice now in the past minute I've laughed out loud reading what you guys have written. And at the same time you begin to realize the awesomeness of P&P if one lets go of the desire for professional commentary aimed at a sophisticated audience and instead revels in the unexpected strange and outlandish P&P-speak.

We need a drinking game for when they come out with the usual phrases, and malaprops and mispronunciations and just straight gaffes. Of course, this would have to be some seriously diluted p-water or we would all die of alcohol poisoning before the breakaway had formed and just a small sip for each mistake, something like Michelob Ultra.

 

[alberto.legstrong]

Moninger sticks it to Lance last night

Nothing really about Phil and Paul here. Sorry if mis-posted. Did anyone see the little commentary at the start of Wednesday's broadcast? Roll tried to stick up for Sky (Wiggins, the hero of this new Bread and Water era, GAG!! Does this guy - Roll- even have a conscience?) and Moninger had his little say about how it can take 10 or 12 years for the dopers to finally be brought to justice. The producers or whomever didn't have Roll on screen when he was stating that but I don't think I needed to see him to know his face must have been totally twisted to have to hear that on a broadcast. Taking the lord's name in vain. I have no doubt there were repercussions during that commercial break or subsequently.

 

[egtalbot]

LOL with all the great lines listed here. Another great one is "the strong men of the peloton."

 

[BigRingAbuse]

@joe_papp - magical post.

A couple of noted Sherwenisms today:

"It's like a bank account of energy and if you go into overdraft, you will.. (can't think how to wrap up the metaphor)… erm…be… off the back of the group"

"They will launch another vociferous attack"

 

[Dewulf]

i already stated my opinion on phil ligget and that's it.it's like that grandfather that has dementia,he's goddamn delusional no doubt but still he is your grandfather and you still love him,you know he really was the voice of cycling for so many years and so on.but yeah definitely delusional ,there needs to be some new fresh blood there.and i don't mean sherwen.

i find it hilarious that a country like romania who has absolutely no one in pro cycling at a decent level has a better commentary on cycling and more knowledge than all the commentators from the anglophone world(and trust me,i listened them all),pretty much at the level of hardcore cyclingnews forums fans.

In recent years I've been impressed by a young Australian named Matthew Keenan...he's doing the first hour or so of the GTs for SBS in Australia. Though this year...idk...he kinda sounds a bit more like Phil & Paul?!?!? Say it ain't so!

 

[Dewulf]

but wait, there's more...

Sooooo, there was an article about becoming a cycling fan thru watching the TdF in The Age today...all good, and near the end is this little beauty:

"And when the race is rolling, it becomes an immersive experience. Like life itself, the moments of drama and achievement tend to be separated by long periods of uneventful progress, with the peloton rolling along, chasing some three-man breakaway of nobodies that's doomed to fail, and Paul and Phil droning on and on with the same old measured anecdotes and observations, and gorgeous green fields and helicopter shots of chateaus, cows and community constructions, with those shimmering alpine lakes and flag-waving gendarmes, and lines of honest citoyens shouting "allez, allez," and more talk of "that's why all 198 riders should stay in the front of the bunch" and "this is what's known as a natural break" ... and then you wake on the couch at 4am to discover you've drooled on your skivvy, the TV is playing some awful popera album and you've no idea whose lunge earned him a place among the immortals.
Then there's the mountain stages, where the talk turns to masks of pain, suitcases of courage and "dancing on the pedals", as some of the fittest men in the world put themselves through grinding, searing agony to gain a few seconds' advantage. As I sip my tea I am eternally grateful that my many cycling failures are suffered anonymously on uncrowded backroads, and not with a motorbike-mounted camera shoved in my face while a babel of voices shout into microphones, "O'Reilly's cracked! He's going backwards! Dear, oh dear ..."

Here's the whole piece btw:
http://www.theage.com.au/executive-...o-love-the-tour-de-france-20120712-21xei.html

THEN, I tune into SBS for tonight's coverage and in the intro Mike Tomolaris actually gives Paul a ribbing about the repeated phrases, especially "the suitcase of courage"!! Paul looked a bit flustered at first but then decided to play along, but how do you like that, when other TV hosts are giving you $#!& to your face on live TV, heh heh heh heh

 

[SetonHallPirate]

We need a drinking game for when they come out with the usual phrases, and malaprops and mispronunciations and just straight gaffes. Of course, this would have to be some seriously diluted p-water or we would all die of alcohol poisoning before the breakaway had formed and just a small sip for each mistake, something like Michelob Ultra.

I don't drink alcohol, but I always fake a drink whenever Sherwen says "[cause] because [effect]".