• The Cycling News forum is looking to add some volunteer moderators with Red Rick's recent retirement. If you're interested in helping keep our discussions on track, send a direct message to @SHaines here on the forum, or use the Contact Us form to message the Community Team.

    In the meanwhile, please use the Report option if you see a post that doesn't fit within the forum rules.

    Thanks!

Surely, he must be doped...

Page 3 - Get up to date with the latest news, scores & standings from the Cycling News Community.
Dec 7, 2010
8,770
3
0
Visit site
Mellow Velo said:
The answer is simple: Santa has a Clause:p in his contract that allows him to ride all over the world, without a valid passport.;)

Your Clause was obvious. But mine was just a mistake made over and over again in my post upthread! LMAO at myself!
 
Dec 7, 2010
8,770
3
0
Visit site
9000ft said:
Does anyone know when Blitzen' tell all book comes out? I know he indulged in a little magic dust here and there during his career, but I know he just want's to come clean.

Of course the lame stream media and all the red trouser sniffing Santa fanboys will ignore it.

Pretty sure it was Dasher that has all the real scoop about the magic dust. Ever since Santa put him on his ignore list he has been spotted in some remote alpine village behind a car wash.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Glenn_Wilson said:
Pretty sure it was Dasher that has all the real scoop about the magic dust. Ever since Santa put him on his ignore list he has been spotted in some remote alpine village behind a car wash.

I think the magic dust may have been a little stronger than SC originally thought.

1402704_o.gif
 
Oct 16, 2010
19,912
2
0
Visit site
yeah, santa's doped.

I realized santa is doped up only after having sat on his lap for a while last year.
it's not normal to have boner at his age.
 
May 24, 2010
13
0
8,530
Visit site
More Strides than Rides said:
He's the most tested and questioned Legend in the world, but just has more dedication and training than the tooth fairy, easter bunny, and bogey man combined.


Wait a minute! That's not what I heard!

As far as I can tell, these three characters do just as much training and have as much dedication as Santa.

The tooth fairy keeps super fit by eating lots and lots of beef, the easter bunny and the bogey man walk their dogs birillo and piti, lots and lots :D
 
Jul 23, 2009
2,891
1
0
Visit site
Susan Westemeyer said:
Sure he lives there in December. But where does he spend the off-season? And with whom? Doing what?
Well he said that he was in Mexico this summer, but Krebs didn't see him there and there were rumours of a Santa in black kit in some pretty strange locations...

I found these quotes in a debunked science rag. They reveal that we are dealing with far more than a fit and focused athlete. We are dealing with a fit and focused genetic phenomenon:

An additional factor in Santa's improvement over the years is that he has learned how to reduce his body weight and body fat by 10 pounds (5 kg) prior to each of his Christmas Eve sorties. Therefore, over all his power per kg of body weight has increased a 18% while driving reindeer through the steep mountains in France. Santa is indeed a phenomenon.

There is no doubt that Santa now possesses a big and strong heart that can beat over 200 times a minute at maximum and thus pump a exceptionally large volume of blood and oxygen to his legs. There are probably 100 other men on earth who have comparable abilities

Santa also possesses the 'drive' and 'mental toughness' needed to train very, very hard. Furthermore, he is intelligent and semi-scientific in his training making sure to focus on 'specificity', especially for a whirlwind trip to nearly every residence on Earth on Christmas Eve.
 
Jun 16, 2009
3,035
0
0
Visit site
Andynonomous said:
Actually, I did a quick "wikipedia" check, and he is an amalgamation of multiple characters (Sinterklaas, Father Christmas, St Nikolaus, Odin,...).

Most of Santa's roots seem to come from central Europe (Pre-Christian Germanic peoples, Dutch, Scandanavian, Nordic).


And of course, none of these people dope. :D

He is intentionally vague about his nationality - it allows him to move easily between federations to avoid any bothersome testing "Sorry, I'm not German, I'm Finnish"..."Sorry I'm not Dutch, I'm German", etc...
 
Jan 18, 2010
3,059
0
0
Visit site
The Tour of Lapland here we come, the 4 th GT.

Rudolph will be looking to pick up valuable world tour points, more points= more elves available for next years world cross country Sleighing championships.

Santa is overseeing the operation from a mountain cabin somewhere in Switzerland after being refused entry to Lapland due to certain indiscretions and the fact that interpol were on his case.