I just don't care. And i'm really surprised at myself not caring.
Among cycling fans we've long known what Pantani was; one great big pharma experiment. We've known what pro cycling was, a chemical alley. Of course he didn't deserve it, of course, in a just world he'd have been stripped during his lifetime, banned forever and disgraced.
But it does strike me as bizarrely convenient to chase the corpse. Indurain, Riis, Ullrich, Roche, Delgado...we have no lack of living dopers to tackle. Hell, Riis is still a key figure in the bloody sport, he needs evicted, with extreme prejudice.
But no. We chase Pantani.
Why Pantani?
The phrase that comes to mind is bibllical.
"let the dead bury the dead."
He can't be punished now. He's beyond our power. On some limited level, he died still champ. he got away with it. And nothing we do will change that.
That may annoy us, but annoyance is one of those things grown ups need to learn how to handle. And rules do matter, oddly, even SoL rules. LA slipped through the gaps because of known loopholes in the SoL rules. And I'm delighted, don't get me wrong.
But, while I've long argued for T&R, I've recently had some second thoughts. I do want proof, i do want to know the truth about the dark ages. I want dopers gone from a sport i love, permenantly. Frankly, I want them behind bars.
But I'm slowly, with hesitation, coming to the conclusion that I can't wait forever, watching the sport bleeding today, to right wrongs of the past that, in reality, maybe can't be righted. Slowly, I'm losing interest in knowing 'the truth' (well, we know most already, but I suppose we mean admission, confessions, etc) of the past, if it means the sport always bleeding.
And while T&R could still rid us of the Vinos, Johanns and Barney's, and that alone would be a very good thing. But if we could be rid of them, finally, just rid of them, I could accept now them keeping their tarnished medals, because everyone who loves cycling knows the truth about them.
Maybe I'm just tired of the attempt to right the past, while the present day sport limps on. I want to save my energy for the present, and the future. Learn the mistakes, of course. But don't live inside them.
I've said here before, I'm a sport omnivore, more or less. I've debated attempts to strip Marita Koch and Enders till the cows came home. When they went after Caster Semenya, I actually was breifly on national (Irish) radio talking about Stella Walsh and Helen Stephens; the later ironically and wrongly accused of being a man by the former. I remember friends of mind quite close to GB swimming saying that the nomination of Sharron Davies for the Olympic opening ceremony (she was in the collection of medalists) was partially a recognition that she'd been robbed.
But the past can't be rewritten; not really. Valerie Adams never got her ceremony. Neither did Lynsey Sharp or Jenny Meadows. Oh the record books are adjusted, the bast*rds rightly banned, somebody fixes wikipedia.
But it's a war we fight, against doping and corruption in sport; and we won't win every battle - no-one in war ever does. There are always casualties. War is sheer bloody murder, and the bad outweighs the good. And with so many battles to fight right now; i'm not sure I've the energy to chisel the titles of the gravestone of Pantani, when everyone knows his disgrace anyway.
Long winded and pointless, probably. And obviously, some of you will want to havea good mock, in which case, knock yourself out, I'm fair game. But I just wanted to get it off my chest, because much as the clinic gives me a laugh, and much as i care about anti-doping, i'm feeling low on energy for these old battles. Vindication just doesn't give me the kick it used to; i must just be getting old.
My worthless 2c.