The mother of all apology speeches

[Big Daddy]

Mamma Mia. Wrong about this one. It's the Pete Rose Express to Jokesville for Armstrong. In the future I forsee lots of butt chugging, donkey shagging, and searching for the real dopers.

Dude! Yep, totally wrong for sure. That was no apology from Armstrong at all.

I guess the stage is set for a big showdown. No apology means the UCI is gonna announce on Monday that they are fighting the USADA evidence.

 

[Microchip]

Hyperbole and metaphor for broken home and single mom.

He was born Gunderson and hates his deadbeat dad, speculation... but his entire life played out like a 10 year old trying to make up for past wrongs.

Most people get over it or learn how to cope.

He never did... multiple blonds, consistent rage...

i.e.

once a loser... isn't a crime, but he made it one.

(Other choices were available - but he chose to falsely rule the world and ruin anyone who got in his way)

~ Sir Retribution


{I will never forgive him for using his ill-gotten influence to taint Lemond}

Okay, I see.

 

[WinterRider]

...and searching for the real dopers.

I actually laughed out loud for this one. It was so good I typed out the whole phrase for you BroDeal.

I would love to see more of this. Lance's search for the real dopers would entertain me for years!

 

[Dear Wiggo]

Just some really quick math here... http://www.cdc.gov/Features/WorldCancerDay/

Each year globally, 12.7 million people learn they have cancer, and 7.6 million people die from the disease.

Delta is 5.1M additional people with cancer each year.

So from July 2010, when I think this 28M figure was first floated, there are now around 38M people with cancer.

I have been deeply and profoundly affected by this disease, losing family and friends. I mean no disrespect in being so logical about it - it's not a logical thing.

But the 28M BS is really just one more fallacy used as a shield and it disgusts me.

 

[Page Mill Masochist]

He was born Gunderson

Lance Edgar Gunderson, I recall.

 

[Yingge]

I dont think he will fess up - at least not until he starts running out of money and some publisher offers big money for him to tell, but even then I have my doubts.

 

[Bosco10]

Lance Edgar Gunderson, I recall.

Son of a Gun..derson

 

[Bosco10]

Thank you JR for the transcript....

awful...just awful..no other words.
I lol'd at the 'uh'.

and his grammar...ffs...he should know better..."I just got one last request"
instead of "I just have" or "I have just got"....oh well, my peeve..

reminds me of his "old lady " comment when referring to Frankie's wife Betsy during his deposition

To be fair, I watched the vid again, and he did say, "I just have one last request."

 

[The Gnome]

man, I love it...the more he denies and lies, the deeper and deeper his hole goes...looks like he is sticking with the plan and going down with the ship...it's a thing of beauty and noone has to do anything, just watch him burn the thing to the ground...Lance, you the man!

 

[broken chain]

Holy smokes,the guy is a true wacko.
Male menopause?

 

[knewcleardaze]

To be fair, I watched the vid again, and he did say, "I just have one last request."

I had to watch again to see if I was going deaf. Sounded to me like he said " I just got one last request"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en&client=mv-google&v=go-gPUZJJ_E&feature=youtu.be&nomobile=1

 

[Fidolix]

I bet all of his spin doctors and advisors were standing on the side line saying:
Lance you f... idiot, how can you make your self look that stupid, ffs get on the program, don´t lose it now, you both looked and sounded pathetic and desperate, not to mention the quotation of MLK, wtf are you thinking?

Thank God we hired most of the audience tonight.

 

[Fidolix]

To be fair, I watched the vid again, and he did say, "I just have one last request."

No he dosent, he´s saying: "I just got one last request..."

watch it again.

 

[oncehadhair]

and lance says...nothing

 

[arjanh]

... and on monday Heini let McQuaid tell the world that UCI will appeal. Heini & LA destroyed pro cycling and they don´t give a ...
Anyway, the war goes on, no give in by the psychos.
My hope is that more sponsors drop out until these two guys are gone forever. The pressure must get more intense until they learn their lesson.

Only problem is those sponsors won't return after those clowns have been tossed...

 

[Bosco10]

I had to watch again to see if I was going deaf. Sounded to me like he said " I just got one last request"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en&client=mv-google&v=go-gPUZJJ_E&feature=youtu.be&nomobile=1

I downloaded the vid, and listened to it through VLC player's equalizer. You guys are right, he did say "just got". Lance fooled me again.

 

[goggalor]

Not only does he quote Martin Luther King, he's speaking and dressed kind of like a pastor as well. Or worse, a cult leader, with his sons, daughters and daughter-wives standing behind, all weirdly facing the same directions as him. I guess the only fans he has left at this point are the true believers. I wouldn't be surprised the next liestrong summit ends in Cancer Jesus and his followers drinking from a vat of yellow kool-aid, and going off to Livestrong heaven.

 

[goggalor]

Not only does he quote Martin Luther King, he's speaking and dressed kind of like a pastor as well. Or worse, a cult leader, with his sons, daughters and daughter-wives standing behind him, all weirdly turned in his direction. I guess the only fans he has left at this point are the true believers. I wouldn't be surprised the next liestrong summit ends in Cancer Jesus and his followers drinking from a vat of yellow kool-aid, and going off to Livestrong heaven.

 

[Maxiton]

It was clear to me that besides coming apart psychically, he'd also been drinking and/or drugging, and was partly inebriated.

 

[hrotha]

Lance Edgar Gunderson, I recall.

I knew his middle name started with an E., but I didn't know what it was. After reading your post, I checked it. So bummed

 

[AcademyCC]

I bet some of the true believers are coming up to him at that dinner saying 'we still support you Lance, FU USADA' That must be horrific for him. No sympathy here but its a complete car crash

 

[sublimit]

So basically the guy is prepared to live a lie for the foreseeable future.. His loss in the end.
And the fact that the UCI will back him to the death makes this a train crash for sure.

 

[losenotaminute]

I love the way his supporters include Sean Penn, one of the biggest fools in the entertainment industry, who always seems to attach himself to the wrong side of every argument. They deserve each other.

This whole story makes it very easy to detect who is an idiot - just ask them if they support LA and you have your answer.

 

[Square-pedaller]

Each year globally, 12.7 million people learn they have cancer, and 7.6 million people die from the disease.

Delta is 5.1M additional people with cancer each year.

So from July 2010, when I think this 28M figure was first floated, there are now around 38M people with cancer.

This is only right if, once people have been told they have cancer, they subsequently only ever die of cancer. However, someone might be told that they have cancer and be run over by a bus the following day. Or their cancer might be controlled or cured so that they eventually die of something else. Or I guess it's possible that they might have several cancers, and die of only one of them. My guess is that it's the second of these three possibilities that account for most of the 5.1M. The number living with cancer is also presumably increasing slowly (increasing world population, increasing survival time after being told they have cancer).

 

[cineteq]

and lance says...nothing

Yup, which means he has zero intention of confessing in the near future.

He will only do it when it'll make sense...financially. In the meantime, he's going to cling to the cancer shield making awkward speeches.