The Official Lance-Oprah Excuse Contest

[BroDeal]

Here's how to play. Everyone lists ways or phrases that Armstrong will use to excuse his doping, lying, and bullying. Leeway will be given for longer entries. The winner is whoever gets the most phrases that Armstrong uses. Afterward the winning list will become the official drinking game list for subsequent Armstrong interviews.

1) witch-hunt
2) singled out
3) Everyone was using EPO.
4) All the riders I competed with consider me the seven time winner.
5) I need to get back to fighting cancer.
6) I worked harder than anyone else.
7) I am coming forward for my kids.
8) I was getting my ass kicked by dopers when I first went to Europe.
9) I could not tell the truth because of all the cancer sufferers who believed in me.
10) vendetta

 

[leftover pie]

11) For america

 

[Dr. Maserati]

I expect it to go like this.

1 Cancer
2 Fatherless
3 Cancer
4 Europeans
5 Cancer
6 Mom
7 Cancer
8 Kids
9 Cancer

 

[Darryl Webster]

12) "there really is no such thing as miracles "

 

[Tinman]

1. "Oprah, believe me, it's not about me, ..."

 

[leftover pie]

13) Johan made me do it

 

[Race Radio]

trailer park
GED

 

[Page Mill Masochist]

The biggest excuse is that nobody will watch it.

Oprah's best show in 2012 scored a 2.4 -- 2.4 million people. Less than 1% of Americans.

 

[thehog]

58) My family is going through so much pain. It's not fair on them. My titles should be restored so dinner time conversation is easier.

 

[42x16ss]

Here's how to play. Everyone lists ways or phrases that Armstrong will use to excuse his doping, lying, and bullying. Leeway will be given for longer entries. The winner is whoever gets the most phrases that Armstrong uses. Afterward the winning list will become the official drinking game list for subsequent Armstrong interviews.

1) witch-hunt
2) singled out
3) Everyone was using EPO.
4) All the riders I competed with consider me the seven time winner.
5) I need to get back to fighting cancer.
6) I worked harder than anyone else.
7) I am coming forward for my kids.
8) I was getting my ass kicked by dopers when I first went to Europe.
9) I could not tell the truth because of all the cancer sufferers who believed in me.
10) vendetta

You should print those out onto a tick and flick sheet. I bet all of those are used within the first 5 minutes

This needs a poll for first/most common excuse used.

 

[Race Radio]

When lance cries about being forced to dope Oprah will understand. She was forced to eat 2 dozen Krispy Kreme for breakfast

 

[mewmewmew13]

When lance cries about being forced to dope Oprah will understand. She was forced to eat 2 dozen Krispy Kreme for breakfast

People who 'do a lot of good' always have their own demons...

 

[on3m@n@rmy]

1) I was a victim of the existing cycling doping culture (everyone doped).
2) At first, it was too hard to tell the truth (it would cost me $$$ to tell truth).
3) Now, it is too hard to keep lying (I will gain $$$ by telling the truth).

OK, 2 and 3 are not excuses for doping. I just could not resist.

4) $$$ in endorsements (I will gain $$$).
5) Doping doctors have to make a living too (I'm really a good guy and never threatened anyone).
6) My ego shoved me out of the way (I am not an egomaniac).

 

[ElChingon]

15) Everyone bribed the UCI to get away with it. Why the USADA didn't play along is unknown to me.

 

[northstar]

16) I did not force other riders to dope
17) Writing a book and will donate proceeds to Livestrong

 

[hfer07]

The only reason for him to do it aside from the cash -is to counter against what Travis Tygart is going to unveil tonight on 60 minute sports. to me-average people are so fed up with his BS & will likely be more interested in what the guy who put LA down has to say about the whole operation rather than a meaningless/deceiving/shallow/baseless/untruthful "confession-IF it ever comes out of his dirty mouth.....

 

[wirral]

"I need everyone out there watching this to make a donation to me, I mean, the Livestrong Foundation and buy one of my bikes to fight cancer."

 

[calinmarian]

The only reason for him to do it aside from the cash -is to counter against what Travis Tygart is going to unveil tonight on 60 minute sports. to me-average people are so fed up with his BS & will likely be more interested in what the guy who put LA down has to say about the whole operation rather than a meaningless/deceiving/shallow/baseless/untruthful "confession-IF it ever comes out of his dirty mouth.....

The biggest excuse that LA is that he doped to beat Greg Lemond record of Tour wins for an american.You know the old man declared that Armstrong wanted to destroy him in the last 11 years(counting2013).

 

[Alpe d'Huez]

This is going to either be pathetic, or comedic. One thing that definitely won't come out of it is the truth.

 

[Animal]

Easy interview from someone who knows NOTHING about cycling.

He'll be able to whitewash himself, shift blame, and wheedle his way out of taking responsibility.

Scumbag.

 

[howsteepisit]

Hell, would not surprise me if he just denied all, tells how there is not proof, just bitter ex-rivals who cheated and lied about THE LANCE so they would not have to pay the price for their cheating.

 

[DirtyWorks]

Hell, would not surprise me if he just denied all, tells how there is not proof, just bitter ex-rivals who cheated and lied about THE LANCE so they would not have to pay the price for their cheating.

Right here!
-No proof
-Witch hunt
-I'm a cool guy.
-I would never do this to my multiple baby-momma/ex's.
-What about the children?
-Bitter rivals demeaning my accomplishments.
-Feel sympathy for me. Now!
-10 bazillion followers on The Tweeter.
-Cancer crusader.
-Unfair process.
-USADA is a rogue organization
-Aren't I great?

Buutttt... It will be slow. Torturously slow with replays and Oprah giving journalistic b.j's.. The guy cannot act, but he can read a script. That's all it will be.



Best part of this are the comments on the stories. The few defenders are only left with complete nonsense.

 

[Mr_Hansen]

Two self-centered egomaniacs just meeting each other. So I wouldn't expect much.

Due to pending law suits Lances can't confess much anyway. Likely he will complain about being convicted with zero proof, insinuate how worse are others over there in Europe and what a dedicated hard worker he is.

 

[Avoriaz]

He will put the focus on being bipolar.

This is the new celebrity affliction du jour.

Used to be bullying, anorexia, dyslexia, acne

 

[Bavarianrider]

1. I was forced to use drugs as everyone did it
2. I did only what was necessary
3. Terefore I never cheated anyone
4. I dit it for the cancer people all over the world
5. Lance will show some tears
6. Oprah will show some tears
7. America will say: Oh look Lance is a good guy after all
8. Armstong will be all Amerian heroe again