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The Seinfeld thread

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ravens

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Nov 22, 2009
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Seinfeld is my religion. Naming one line as a favorite is sheer blasphemy.

I would have to say that the one line I repeat most often, whenever the most mundane of things happen, like outwitting the cap on a bottle of aspirin, I usually will say "Another festivus miracle! "

I don't have to bookmark this page any longer as it will come up in the history of any browser i have used more than once.

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/
 
Mar 18, 2009
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ravens said:
Seinfeld is my religion. Naming one line as a favorite is sheer blasphemy.

I would have to say that the one line I repeat most often, whenever the most mundane of things happen, like outwitting the cap on a bottle of aspirin, I usually will say "Another festivus miracle! "

I don't have to bookmark this page any longer as it will come up in the history of any browser i have used more than once.

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/

Ah yes...feats of strength!!
 
A

Anonymous

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"A man without hand is not a man. I've got so much hand I'm coming out of my gloves."
- George, in "The Pez Dispenser"

"Produce section. Very provocative area. A lot of melons and shapes. Everyone's squeezing and smelling..."
- Jerry, describing how he met a woman in the supermarket, in "The Junior Mints"

"Is it me, or was that the ugliest baby you have ever seen?"
"I couldn't look. It was like a Pekinese."
"Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Hamptons"
 
May 6, 2009
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"Women like that are like members of a secret tribe living in a forbidden city. People like me have not been inside in thousands of years."

"He's reliable. He's considerate. He's like your exact opposite."
"So he's Bizarro Jerry."
"Bizarro Jerry?"
"Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives."
"Shouldn't he say badbye? Isn't that the opposite of goodbye?"
"No, it's still goodbye."
"Does he live underwater?"
"No."
"Is he black?"
"Look, just forget the whole thing."


"What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland?"
"Kramer, I've been reviewing your work. Quite frankly, it stinks."
"Well, I've been having trouble at home and, uh, I'll work harder. Nights, weekends, whatever it takes."
"No, no, I don't think that's going to do it. These reports you handed in, it's almost as if you have no business training at all. I don't know what this is supposed to be."
"Well, I'm just trying to get ahead."
"I'm sorry, there's just no way that we can keep you on."
"I don't even really work here."
"That's what makes this so difficult."


From The Bizaro Jerry.
 

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