Unbelievable doping excuses

[CycloErgoSum]

"Science, reason and evidence is for losers, I'm a demi-god!"

"Zeus fcuked my mom!"

 

[Rip:30]

My favorite doping excuse was when Simoni said the cocaine came from some candy his mother (grandmother?) sent him from Peru, or Bolivia or some such place. And the didn't know A THING about it. Way to go Gilberto! (I had a college professor once who said you could get out of his lecture if 1) you had a letter from a doctor or 2) if you could think of an excuse he had never heard.)

ps: he got off

Didn't he get ejected from the Giro, which he was winning, or something along those lines?

 

[Rip:30]

The loss of blood because of haemorrhoids is not so unbelieveable as you might think. Blood loss often leads to irregular blood values.

Ya, was sort of thinking the same thing: that this is a much better excuse then anything else listed in this tread. Article makes it sound like he's got some documentation as well.

On the other hand, volume-wise, how much could you really loose though a hemorrhoid? Seems like it would take a massive loss of blood to make an effect in whatever blood parameters they measure for the BP.

Ave adult blood volume is something like 5 L.

 

[Ferminal]

The loss of blood because of haemorrhoids is not so unbelieveable as you might think. Blood loss often leads to irregular blood values.

I think the sticking point is the result he got only a week later.

 

[BroDeal]

I think the sticking point is the result he got only a week later.

Not just that. His hemoglobin and hematocrit were very low. He would have had to have lost enough blood to make his blood values look suspicious. That probably means more than 500 ml. That is a lot of blood to bleed. He would have freaked out and gone straight to the nearest hospital.

 

[Boeing]

Prolonged oral sex with his pregnant wife caused the race walker DANIEL PLAZA to absorb the steroid, which pregnant women may produce naturally.

 

[Oldman]

Not just that. His hemoglobin and hematocrit were very low. He would have had to have lost enough blood to make his blood values look suspicious. That probably means more than 500 ml. That is a lot of blood to bleed. He would have freaked out and gone straight to the nearest hospital.

Everyone in the peloton behind him would have freaked out before he did. That's also alot of discomfort. Perhaps he should consult a better dietician or stress management counselor.

 

[brianf7]

Jesús Rosendo Prado has managed to come up with an excuse for doping that I have not heard before: Haemorrhoids.

Guys this is a horrible way to go imagin if you have to suffer that much pain on top of what it takes to get over the line.

 

[CycloErgoSum]

"Hey, I'm doing this for awareness, OK? It's bigger than you and I'm bigger than it. So you can take your expert opinion and stick it. You probably graduated the bottom of your class, anyway."

 

[Sydney Sider]

This is not an excuse but one of the funniest doping stories i have ever heard was one of the Macdougall Brothers (Rugby League in Australia ) being approached by a Dope tester in the change rooms after the game for a sample and he literally got up legged it from the change room jumped the fence of the stadium and just kept legging it.

Im unsure of then final outcome after this happened but talk about an admission of guilt.


For people who dont know the 2 older brothers of this guy had already tested positive to prohibited substances in the past

 

[SpartacusRox]

This is not an excuse but one of the funniest doping stories i have ever heard was one of the Macdougall Brothers (Rugby League in Australia ) being approached by a Dope tester in the change rooms after the game for a sample and he literally got up legged it from the change room jumped the fence of the stadium and just kept legging it.

Im unsure of then final outcome after this happened but talk about an admission of guilt.


For people who dont know the 2 older brothers of this guy had already tested positive to prohibited substances in the past

Sounds very similar a certain Italian at the Tour! Only he had to eventually turn around.

 

[flyor64]

Not just that. His hemoglobin and hematocrit were very low. He would have had to have lost enough blood to make his blood values look suspicious. That probably means more than 500 ml. That is a lot of blood to bleed. He would have freaked out and gone straight to the nearest hospital.

+1. It will DEF freak you out if it happens and surely you go directly to a hospital...

It's an absolute crapload of blood (pun only slightly intended)...more than one imagines it could/should be.

I seems a viable reason for suspicious values...BUT as someone mentioned later down thread, the strong race result just a week afterwards is what has me scratching my head. I just can't fathom how that could happen....

 

[DonTickles]

+1. It will DEF freak you out if it happens and surely you go directly to a hospital...

It's an absolute crapload of blood (pun only slightly intended)...more than one imagines it could/should be.

I seems a viable reason for suspicious values...BUT as someone mentioned later down thread, the strong race result just a week afterwards is what has me scratching my head. I just can't fathom how that could happen....

When I was stationed in Iraq a buddy of mine had a bleeding hemorrhoid. I guess he had it for a while and didn't tell anyone. He looked pretty pasty and eventually passed out from blood loss in front of someone, which is when he was forced to get help. He said he was too embarrassed to get help before then.

 

[flyor64]

When I was stationed in Iraq a buddy of mine had a bleeding hemorrhoid. I guess he had it for a while and didn't tell anyone. He looked pretty pasty and eventually passed out from blood loss in front of someone, which is when he was forced to get help. He said he was too embarrassed to get help before then.

I'm not surprised...it is a bit embarassing...I am surprised (impressed even?) how long he held out though. If it had fully bursted, it should have effected him much faster, that or he was one tough hombre...

My personal exprerience, without too much detail, was that of instantaneous dizziness, tunnel vision, complete loss of energy, shortness of breath and a really bad feeling of being bloated and needing to visit a toilet...while on a ride.

Aforementioned visit to toilet was bad...and quite scary. I went immediately to the hospital. The amount of blood loss was mind boggling...

 

[Colonel]

MTN Energade Cycling Team athlete Ian McLeod has received a six month doping sanction for testing positive for a glucocorticosteroid, Deflazacort found in his urine after the South African Championships held on 19 February 2010 in Klerksdorp. The South African Institute of Drug- Free Sport (SAIDS) released the findings and sentence handed down to McLeod during his hearing on 5 May 2010.

Ian suffers from chronic asthma which is controlled through the daily use of inhaled Symbicort (bronchodilator and glucocorticosteroid combination) for which he has received Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs) from SAIDS and WADA for the past five years.

The prohibited substance found in his system does not form part of McLeod’s prescription medication. He denies having intentionally taken the prohibited substance. His explanation, which was accepted by SAIDS during the hearing, is that it entered his body through the ingestion of contaminated sports drink bottles taken inadvertently from non-team sources during the race.

Ian McLeod is the current African Champion and leader of the African Continental Tour. He has been a professional cyclist for the past 10 years, racing both locally and at a Pro Tour level in Europe. During his career, Ian has been tested by WADA and their representatives on a regular basis (specifically 10 times during 2009) and has never previously tested positive for prohibited substances.

The team takes the findings of SAIDS extremely seriously. Based on the fact that the athlete and management are consulting with their legal advisors on the findings and outcomes of the hearing, and next steps, the team cannot comment any further on this issue until this process has been concluded.

For further information contact Douglas Ryder, Team Owner douglas@ryder.co.za

 

[latrinus]

Hogwash

Spiked drink?

 

[FoxxyBrown1111]

"I neede the cortisone to treat a saddle sore" by Epo-Lance in 1999

 

[valentius borealis]

I remember the Argentine tennis player Mariano Puerta blaming a positive test to nandrelone on inadvertantly drinking his wife's glass of water.

 

[craig1985]

Not saying it is unbelievable, but Li Fuyu's positive test is being blamed on 'poor food safety standards in China'.

"There have been several scandals in China, with Clenbuterol poisoning of people by eating heavily contaminated meat. My best guess would be that something like this caused Fuyu Li's positive. I hope he will be treated fairly in his process in China."

 

[python]

this bs w/clen has been called in the appropriate thread.

 

[Willy_Voet]

Not saying it is unbelievable, but Li Fuyu's positive test is being blamed on 'poor food safety standards in China'.

"There have been several scandals in China, with Clenbuterol poisoning of people by eating heavily contaminated meat. My best guess would be that something like this caused Fuyu Li's positive. I hope he will be treated fairly in his process in China."

Ah, the old "I ate Chinese food" excuse.

 

[craig1985]

Li Fuyu does have a point though, at 31 he's not going to be a leader (and that he's not very good), so him doping would seem rather pointless. He has about as much chance as I do of riding the Tour de France.

 

[python]

ahh, i see. only team leaders dope. got it.

 

[Aapjes]

I actually think his excuse is one of the more believable ones. The really unbelievable excuses are just completely insane and could not in any way have caused a positive doping test.

 

[craig1985]

ahh, i see. only team leaders dope. got it.

I'm not saying that at all. I guess the quality of PEDs Fuyu Li has been taking hasn't been very good then?