Who is/are your favorite user(s) on this forum?

[thirteen]

Well, that's not the most subtle innuendo I ever heard.

innuendo? i am perfectly serious. i have been on a major beetroot juice diet getting ready for this race... i will only drink i fresh, hence the need of a squeezer. perfectly logical.

 

[The Hitch]

Specifically, whether the organisers were biased against Libertine Seguros by including a gruelling climb of 200m at 2%.

Its biased against the Hitch for not having a ttt.

 

[Anonymous]

innuendo? i am perfectly serious. i have been on a major beetroot juice diet getting ready for this race... i will only drink i fresh, hence the need of a squeezer. perfectly logical.

Me too. And I also use the beet root juice as a masking agent for the absinthe ... in fact I mix them together.

I'm increasing red blood cell production while at the same time killing brain cells.

I'm ready.

 

[Zam_Olyas]

hahaha...great humour all round..beats the boredom.

 

[ramjambunath]

Boredom? I have some more epic and mental flash games.

Edit:

Me too. And I also use the beet root juice as a masking agent for the absinthe ... in fact I mix them together.

I'm increasing red blood cell production while at the same time killing brain cells.

I'm ready.

I like this, how much for a shot.

 

[RedheadDane]

Okay, everyone! Sign-ups have closed!
Race will follow as soon as possible.

Riders:

Havetts
Parullo
michielVDB
thirteen
RedheadDane
Martin
The Hitch
AussieGoddess
Timmy
bicing
craig
Scott
Midnightfright
Zam_Olyas
Moondance
Libertine
Dancing
acf94
ramjambunath

DS/Mechanics:

L'arriviste
Cobbles

 

[RedheadDane]

Here ya go everyone!!

The TT Challenge, 50 k ITT. Live report.

Welcome everyone to this, the first ever edition of the tough TT challenge. As the name implies this is an individual time trial. The venue for this spectacle is the notorious Strade Diabolica, which is known for making the paves from Paris-Roubaix look like perfectly paved highways. As you might imagine this race is only for the toughest of the tough, the craziest of the crazy, those who have absolutely no dignity left. In fact only 19 have signed up for this insanity. Also due to the bad quality of the route each rider will be followed by their DS on moto while there every 500 metres will be a station with mechanics and medical crew.
It’s rather overcast today; we might very well get some heave downpour.

And now: Let the race begin!

First rider down the starting ramp is Havetts. All riders start with two minutes between them. Starting times are completely by change, due to this being the first ever event of its type.

AND HAVETTS IS OFF! He’s starting out fine, going down the ramp with no problems and pushing the bike.

As if the clouds we mentioned earlier just waited for the race to begin it’s begun raining.

Err… scratch that: Hailing!

HAVETTS IS DOWN!!! Of course it’s him, no one else is on the course currently…

Now Parullo just went down the ramp, it’ll be interesting to see how long he’ll manage before cra… HE JUST CRASHED!!!!

Luckily Havetts seems to have escaped his fall relatively unharmed.

The hail is getting worse and the wind is also picking up.

We’re back with Parullo who’s bleeding badly from a gash on his shoulder.

Thirteen is ready to go on the ramp. Hard to recognize without the rainbows.

AND SHE’S OFF!!!

Parullo has stopped by one of the stations; a doctor is currently attempting to cover up his bleeding.

Havetts has stopped by another station with what appears to be a flat.

THIRTEEN JUST CRASHED!!! This is a bad one! She rolled around several times. Not moving!

SHE’S OUT!! What a disaster for the Road Champ.

In the middle of all this drama we didn’t get to see michielVDB starting. He appears to be doing okay though.

Weather is constantly getting worse. Now it also appears to be snowing.

RedheadDane is off.

CRASH!!! It’s Havetts again.

AND REDHEDDANE ALSO JUST CRASHED!!!

SO DID PARULLO!!!!

AND MICHIEL!!!

Martin is ready on the ramp, looking rather nervous. Can’t really blame him…

He’s off. Doing well, so far…

Everyone seems to be up again.

MichielVDB just had a bike change. We’re pretty sure it’s related to the crash before.

MARTIN IS DOWN!!!

Parullo just had a flat. Lucky for him the bike change was smooth.

Martin is up again, not too badly bruised.

The Hitch just went down the ramp. Setting quite a pace.

Bike change for RedheadDane.

ANOTHER CRASH FROM PARULLO!!

It’s now a regular snowstorm. Let’s see how the riders will fare.

Parullo just went past Havetts.

AussieGoddess is off, looking determined not to crash too frequently.

We’re currently following Martin who is NOT crashing.

THE HITCH WENT DOWN!!!

Flat for Parullo.

Timmy is getting ready on the ramp, he’ll be off soon.

All the riders are moving through what looks like a white soup. We’re pretty certain they can’t see a thing. A wonder they’re staying on the course.

REDHEADDANE MISSED A TURN!!! She shot off the course and directly into a small river.

Timmy is off!

HE JUST FELL DOWN THE RAMP!! Luckily the mishap didn’t seem to have affected him too much and he’s quickly up again.

Someone just helped RedheadDane up from the river. She is shrivelling like crazy. Clearly not build for something like this.

Martin managed to get past the corner RedheadDane just missed without trouble. This also means he’s overtaken her.

Bicing just went down the ramp. Setting a good pace.

RedheadDane is getting onto her bike again, insisting on continuing.

AussieGoddess has pulled over to one of the stations. She appears to want a wheel change.

TIMMY JUST CRASHED AGAIN!!! These crashes don’t seem to affect him too much though and he’s quickly up again.

RedheadDane has stopped again. Arguing wildly with her DS.

The mechanic who just changed AussieGoddess’ wheel is Cobbles who’s known for his rather slack behaviour.

Craig just started.

HAVETTS HAS JUST CRASHED BADLY AND IS BEING TAKEN FROM THE COURSE ON A STRETCHER!!!!

We also just heard that RedheadDane has been convinced to abandon.

There we have it! A trouble with AussieGoddess’ new wheel. She has stopped and is looking at her bike, clearly ****ed off. She’s still rather close to the station Cobbles is at. He should watch out!

AussieGoddess is tearing the wheel off her bike.

She’s running back towards the station.

AND SHE JUST PULLED A BARREDO!! It’ll be interesting to see the officials’ reaction to this!

Now we have just sent Scott onto the course.

AussieGoddess has just pulled out in protest.

PARULLO IS DOWN!!!

Midnightfright is getting ready on the ramp.

Parullo is still not on his bike. He’s clutching the shoulder he also injured in his first crash.

MICHIELVDB JUST HIS A POTHOLE, HIS ENTIRE BIKE MORE OR LESS EXPLODED BENEATH HIM!!!

It’s a broken clavicle for Parullo. This means he’s unfortunately out of the race.

MichielVDB didn’t escape his accident unscratched either. Three broken rips, a smashed shoulder blade, a badly bruised knee and a sprained ankle mean the end of the race for him.

Midnightfright has recently been sent off.

We’re now back with Martin. Remember that with Havetts, Parullo, thirteen, michielVDB and RedheadDane all out he is currently the front of the race.

CRAIG HAS CRASHED!!!

What the hell??? Did we just hear thunder in the distance? We did! This means it’s a snow/hail storm AND thunder at the SAME time.

Craig is still not up. It appears to be a serious head injury.

It is!! He’s out!!!!

Zam_Olyas has just been sent down the ramp. It seems rather pointless to state that we hope he won’t crash…

L'arriviste, the DS of Scott is yelling something at his rider. Let’s see if we can find out what he’s saying and pass it on.

Err… maybe not…

THE HITCH HAS CRASHED!!!!!

We just had Moondance being sent onto the course.

ZAM_OLYAS HAS CRASHED!!!

Martin has just stopped for a bike change.

Scott has decided to abandon. His DS isn’t too pleased. We won’t attempt to pass on what the angry L'arriviste is yelling.

TIMMY IS DOWN!!!

Now Libertine is getting ready to start.

Timmy has clearly hit his head. He’s currently running around at the crash sight, making weird noises. Someone ought to tell him to pull out.

Zam_Olyas on the other hand escaped his crashed “unhurt” (only bleeding from various cuts.)

LIBERTINE IS OFF!!!!

Timmy has indeed been pulled out. He’s grinning strangely as he’s getting into the car.

This means that so far a staggering number of NINE riders have abandoned the race.

MIDNIGHTFRIGHT HAS A PUNCTURE!!

Dunno why that was in caps… hardly shocking that people puncture or crash anymore…

Martin has been down. Lucky for him it didn’t appear to have been too bad and he’s back on the bike.

LIBERTINE JUST CRASHED!!!

Dancing has just been sent down the ramp. He has clearly decided NOT to use his regular riding style and is SITTING DOWN for a change. Wise move.

It’s been a while since we’ve last seen bicing. There he is!! Doing okay… we think…

Acf94 is getting ready.

Another crash! This time it’s Martin who’s the unlucky.

Acf94 is off. This means that only one rider still needs to be sent off.

Dancing is nearing Libertine.

We just heard that The Hitch’s crash was worse than first anticipated. He’s out as well.

Dancing has just overtaken Libertine who IN A SERIOUS SHOWCASE OF DISTEMPT TOWARDS RULES HAS TAKEN A CHAIN AND LATCHED IT ONTO DANCING’S BIKE.

How will Dancing react to this clear cheating?

HE JUST PULLED OUT A FREAKING BLOW-TORCH!!! WHERE THE **** DID HE HIDE IT!!!

Now the last rider, ramjambunath, has been sent off. With the ten riders who have abandoned this means that there are currently nine riders on the course.

Wait! Make that seven! Both Libertine and Dancing have been disqualified for the previous mishap. Libertine for openly flaunting the rules as seriously as he did, Dancing for… well… you probably guessed.

ACF94 HAS CRASHED BADLY!!!

He’s tough, though. Getting back onto his bike.

Moondance just had a flat. Lucky for him it happened just next to one of the stations and he’s quickly back on the bike.

RAMJAMBUNATH HAS CRASHED!!! HE’S OUT!!!!

Acf94 has also giving up! His injury from his crash was obviously worse than he wanted to admit.

This means that five, or less, riders are actually going to FINISH this race!

We’re at the finish line for the first time today. This means that Martin can’t be too far off!

Back at Zam_Olyas who’s just had a bike change.

AND THERE MARTIN COMES TOWARDS THE FINISH LINE. HE’S PUSHING THE BIKE LIKE A MADMAN!!

He stopped the clock in 1h 17.

MIDNIGHTFRIGHT HAS CRASHED!!!

THERE COMES BICING!!! With the eight minutes starting time between him and Martin he appears to be going for a new best time.

HE DID!!! New best time is 1h 13!

Midnightfright is out. This means we’re down to four riders. WILL THERE EVEN BE A FULL PODIUM IN THIS RACE????

There we have Moondance. He seem to be doing fine. Hard to see in this weather though…

WHY DID WE SAY THAT?? HE JUST CRASHED!!!

Not too bad though, he’s getting a new bike and is quickly up again.

 

[RedheadDane]

ZAM_OLYAS IS NEARING THE FINISH LINE!! He’s pushing the gears; will he set new best time?

No! stopping the clock in 1h 26 it looks like he’ll get third.

That means we are only waiting for Moondance.

THERE HE IS. He’s clearly in pain!

NOW THE TIME JUST PASSED FOR MOONDANCER. HE CANNOT MAKE IT TO THE PODIUM NOW!!

This means the top-3 is as follows:

#1 bicing 1h 13.
#2 Martin + 4’
#3 Zam_Olyas + 13’

AND THERE COMES MOONDANCER!!! He’s literally down on all four, dragging the bike after himself. You can just SEE how determined he is not to pull out a mere 200 metres from the finish line.

He’s across. Immediately passed out the instant he crossed the line. Medical crew is by his side.

His time was 2h 05!

Hope you all enjoyed this spectacle.

Final standings:

#1 bicing 1h 13.
#2 Martin + 4 min
#3 Zam_Olyas + 13 min
#4 Moondancer + 52 min
Havetts DNF
Parullo DNF
thirteen DNF
michielVDB DNF
RedheadDane DNF
The Hitch DNF
AussieGoddess DNF
Timmy DNF
craig DNF
Scott DNF
Midnightfright DNF
acf94 DNF
ramjambunath DNF
Libertine DQ
Dancing DQ

Hope that wasn't too lame...

 

[ramjambunath]

Tied 5th on debut!

Sing away to this tune
Always look on the bright side of life

My post race interview image

You've just been watching Psycho haven't you?

 

[RedheadDane]

You've just been watching Psycho haven't you?

Nope... I'm just crazy...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? You guys asked for a crazy race!

 

[bicing]

Very pleased to have won, I never expected such a TT on such shi**y roads... OK I have to go now because I'm about to get laid.

 

[Havetts]

First to start, first to fall, first to puncture but not luckily the first to abandon. I think I'll skip on being #1 next race.

 

[ramjambunath]

Nope... I'm just crazy...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? You guys asked for a crazy race!

Good un. Ritchie McCaw came charging for a diving tackle and distracted me from imminent victory

Edit: Dammit bicing leave us something to celebrate at least in real life.

 

[thirteen]

i am sorry to announce my untimely death.

(the absolute only reason i would not get back on my bike... in lieu of flowers, please send money. i will give my PayPal account upon request.)

 

[Zam_Olyas]

i dont know what to say...working and training hard more than others certainly has its dividends.Thank you all. I too believe in miracles.

 

[Michielveedeebee]

Redheaddane, you are one hell of a crazy person


Respect

Shame of the broken ribs though, I just couldn't breathe anymore and had to give up

 

[Dancing On The Pedals]

I object to being DQed because of Libertine trying to get a tow behind me! And as for having a blowtorch stashed away somewhere, how in the name of all that is holy did you think of that?!?!

Mental but great fun to read

 

[Libertine Seguros]

I object. If I'd known I was signing up for an ITT, I'd have demanded my entire team go before me and wait. How am I meant to ride more than the last 200m solo without the help of a team car, motorbike or neutral service vehicle to catch a tow from?

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

*note to self
avoid participation in redhead races

good stuff.

 

[Martin318is]

Happy for the team but slightly gutted for myself to miss the top step of the podium.... you would have thought with my world class efforts to increase my thermal insulation (beer and frites for every meal and inventing meals to go in between meals) I would have done better in the cold....

Awesome race RedhedDane! I look forward to the next one - once everyone's injuries heal

 

[Parrulo]

i am still hardcore laughing from reading your race RhD my god that was hilarious

i just woke up from the coma all those crashes put me in yesterday

 

[The Hitch]

I would like to say that RHD's post was very clever.

I don't usually give that one out, not unless I really am impressed.

the idea of the tt, and the idea of everyone crashing, were 2 surprises.

Chapeau.

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

i am still hardcore laughing from reading your race RhD my god that was hilarious

i just woke up from the coma all those crashes put me in yesterday

crashes "

" huh

 

[craig1985]

Scott offered to take me around some of the finest pubs in Belgium, so who was I to say no? That's why I kept crashing.

 

[RedheadDane]

Very pleased to have won, I never expected such a TT on such shi**y roads... OK I have to go now because I'm about to get laid.

You're welcome. And as for the road, hey you guys wanted a race on bad roads in bad weather... I guess you just didn't expect it would be a TT...

First to start, first to fall, first to puncture but not luckily the first to abandon. I think I'll skip on being #1 next race.

Good be a good idea...

i dont know what to say...working and training hard more than others certainly has its dividends.Thank you all. I too believe in miracles.

Congrats mate.

Redheaddane, you are one hell of a crazy person


Respect

Shame of the broken ribs though, I just couldn't breathe anymore and had to give up

Meeee? Crazey?
Yeah. Sucks 'bout your rib!

I object to being DQed because of Libertine trying to get a tow behind me! And as for having a blowtorch stashed away somewhere, how in the name of all that is holy did you think of that?!?!

Mental but great fun to read

Did I ever mention I have a strange way of thinking?

I object. If I'd known I was signing up for an ITT, I'd have demanded my entire team go before me and wait. How am I meant to ride more than the last 200m solo without the help of a team car, motorbike or neutral service vehicle to catch a tow from?

Sucker up! You have to stop being such a whiney-boy! You may whine over the burns to your face!

*note to self
avoid participation in redhead races

good stuff.

Why nooooooooooot?
Thanks! XD

Happy for the team but slightly gutted for myself to miss the top step of the podium.... you would have thought with my world class efforts to increase my thermal insulation (beer and frites for every meal and inventing meals to go in between meals) I would have done better in the cold....

Awesome race RedhedDane! I look forward to the next one - once everyone's injuries heal

Yeah... guess you could've done better. Most important is the fact that you would've have had to abandon if you'd fallen into that river!

i am still hardcore laughing from reading your race RhD my god that was hilarious

i just woke up from the coma all those crashes put me in yesterday

Glad you found it funny.

I would like to say that RHD's post was very clever.

I don't usually give that one out, not unless I really am impressed.

the idea of the tt, and the idea of everyone crashing, were 2 surprises.

Chapeau.

Thanks.

Scott offered to take me around some of the finest pubs in Belgium, so who was I to say no? That's why I kept crashing.

Yeah... of course...

Seriously glad you guys enjoyed it. Decided to do things a little different...
Have to say the hardest part was incorporating the two non-riders, L'arriviste and cobblestoned. But, if I have to say so myself I think I did rather well!