Depression and racing

[Rainbike]

Hello all,

I wanted to post a question out there for anyone who has dealt with depression and cycling. I wanted to see if anyone else has suggestions that work for them....that aren't medications.

I had a few good years once I got out of the hospital, but I'm really struggling with training as I should. Like most who have this I struggle with getting the energy and being positive about what I'm doing.

I have a deep respect for the many years in racing represented in this forum. I look forward to your responses.

 

[hmsgenoa]

I would look at the cycling from a different perspective. I raced for about 17 years and it was only when injured, and coming back when I was forced to take it easy that I actually enjoyed the riding. I'd notice more about the scenery that I'd never bothered to before when only flogging myself.

When I was in France in the summer at Le Bourg D'Oisans I met young dutch riders who looked as fit as though they race and, in fact, lots of them never race they just go to the Alps and ride the classic Tour De France climbs. I don't get much time for riding (have two young children)but I will never forget my ride on a beautiful day up the Romanche Valley to the Cols du Lauteret and Galibier.

Next morning it was another beautiful day and ride up Alpe D'Huez.

I wish now I'd spent less time flogging myself and riding up and down dual carriage ways, the track etc and instead gone touring in the Alps taking in the fantastic scenery, and getting an appreciation for what the pros do.

When I was 15 me and my clubmates couldn't understand why anyone wanted to go touring, now I don't understand why I went racing at the exclusion of touring.

When time and funds allow get yourself to some spectacular places (you cannot go wrong if you are able to get to the French Alps or similar) and just enjoy the ride - not the pain! (take it easy and have the correct gearing, or a mountain bike with slicks on giving you a wide range of gearing but reasonable performance)

Enjoy your riding, maybe even get yourself out to France while The Tour is on and ride up some of the classic cols! Hope this helps, cheers Ian

 

[TERMINATOR]

Hello all,

I wanted to post a question out there for anyone who has dealt with depression and cycling. I wanted to see if anyone else has suggestions that work for them....that aren't medications.

I had a few good years once I got out of the hospital, but I'm really struggling with training as I should. Like most who have this I struggle with getting the energy and being positive about what I'm doing.

I have a deep respect for the many years in racing represented in this forum. I look forward to your responses.

You first need to figure out why you are depressed. Depression is caused by your instincts telling you you are doing something wrong in life.

Cycling will help you get over depression, but it won't fix the underlying problem.

 

[forty four]

You first need to figure out why you are depressed. Depression is caused by your instincts telling you you are doing something wrong in life.

Cycling will help you get over depression, but it won't fix the underlying problem.

oh so its his fault huh? thanks for clearing up the cause for depression in humans doc. maybe he is not a moron and actually has some level of intelligence if thats the case its hard not to get depressed around general modern society full of utterly reprehensible ignorant people.

 

[forty four]

what type of diet are you on? and also do you use any supplements? amino acids certain herbs etc... some products are as or more effective than all those ssri's which destroy who you are and have many very serious side effects. plus many of the compounds i speak of help on bike performance as well. pm me i can make some suggestions for you if you would like.

 

[flatclimb]

If you're dealing with this try making a change in some way. Same procedure will give you the same results every time.

One thing about certain labels is that people identify too closely with them. Ask yourself "Is depression all you are?" Or are you more than that?

If cycling is what's making you depressed sometimes it helps to remember it's just a little frame with 2 wheels. Life is a lot more than that.

 

[on3m@n@rmy]

Very sorry to hear of your struggles! HMSGENOA had some very good thoughts on a healthy perspective about riding. Like he said, one thing I try to focus on during rides is the scenery, even if it is desolate terrain. There is usually something that can be seen (birds, animals, etc.) that helps me enjoy most rides. Of course it's not just racing or riding but life experience that may help. Depression does not necessarily mean there is something wrong in your life. I know many ppl who have suffered from depression, including ppl close to me. And most of those ppl live normal productive lives. On the outside it seems as if nothing should be wrong. But, as you probably know, depression is often the result of a chemical imbalance. These can often be treated with meds. The problem with some meds, as in the case of one cyclist friend, is they tend to make him lethargic and not want to ride (let alone train). So, you are not alone!!! My first recommendation is to just keep seeking a doctor's advice. But if you'd like to discuss more privately you can PM me on this forum. I'm no expert, but maybe I can obtain some more details on what my cyclist friend has been doing. Best wishes.

 

[tubularglue]

it is just wonderful reading this thread and having people argue about it.

all the luck.


I tend to ride these days by myself, with others, with racers. I have given myself the choice to not focus on any of those just mentioned. I just ride my bike. Works for me.

 

[Tapeworm]

If you are familiar with Graeme Obree's story then you will know that often cycling (and sport in general) and depression are often tightly entwined. There are the theories that people who are depressed who exercise intensely do so as a method of "self-medication". The problem is when too much is emphasis is put on the sport and when failure occurs it can exacerbate the problem.

 

[lostintime]

No one is to blame for depression, period. Depression just is. We can love it, hate it(they are the same thing) or we can leave it be and walk away from it.

If we feel depressed we are unconsciously embracing it as who we are. We are everything but! Being very clear, there is no blame in this. It is a deeply conditioned response to being human that we all experience. To deny it's existence is ignorance, which is once again unconscious.

Depression lives and thrives in the past and the future. It is non existent in the present moment. Live in the present moment. It is not easy, but a journey of a thousand miles is done with one step one moment at a time. You will lose your way at times , and unconsciousness beckons ..... but it's a lie . . . . depression is a great lie.

Yet, depression is a great teacher if we so choose. The antidote is in the poison.

Mankind will never know the cause of depression.

Arguing about causes of depression totally misses the mark(and fuels it), as it keeps us all from the here and now.



Rainbike ...... Who says you have to continue riding and training the way you have? You have all the choices in the world! Riding a bike should not be a labor. Just one day ...... do what you want to do . F' the shoulds , coulds and woulds or what anyone else thinks. It's your life.

I've experienced depression for decades. My only antidote is the here and now. There is no reconciling the past, there is no certain future. All I really have is right here, right now. the pain wants to live though ..... it want to bargain ... to argue. . . to con me into a new deal. Pain is a very real entity, but I have a choice whether to embrace it as "me" ..... or see it for what it is and detach my identity from it. I

I am not the pain. I am not the depression. Paradoxically, they live with me though ...... I can use them as teachers to keep me awake. . . . conscious. In the present .

 

[oldborn]

Well Rainbike i got a bad news and good news for you. The bad one is, none of the above posts gonna help you. The good one is that you allready realize problem.

Only person who might help you is Rainbike, family and friend support is wellcome but it is your choice to move on. So what if you are depressed, half a world is depressed and drugs are selling well these days.

You realize your bad mood and work on that, as someone post step by step.

Cycling has nothing to do with it.

 

[oldborn]

No one is to blame for depression, period. Depression just is. We can love it, hate it(they are the same thing) or we can leave it be and walk away from it.

If we feel depressed we are unconsciously embracing it as who we are. We are everything but! Being very clear, there is no blame in this. It is a deeply conditioned response to being human that we all experience. To deny it's existence is ignorance, which is once again unconscious.

Depression lives and thrives in the past and the future. It is non existent in the present moment. Live in the present moment. It is not easy, but a journey of a thousand miles is done with one step one moment at a time. You will lose your way at times , and unconsciousness beckons ..... but it's a lie . . . . depression is a great lie.

Yet, depression is a great teacher if we so choose. The antidote is in the poison.

Mankind will never know the cause of depression.

Arguing about causes of depression totally misses the mark(and fuels it), as it keeps us all from the here and now.



Rainbike ...... Who says you have to continue riding and training the way you have? You have all the choices in the world! Riding a bike should not be a labor. Just one day ...... do what you want to do . F' the shoulds , coulds and woulds or what anyone else thinks. It's your life.

I've experienced depression for decades. My only antidote is the here and now. There is no reconciling the past, there is no certain future. All I really have is right here, right now. the pain wants to live though ..... it want to bargain ... to argue. . . to con me into a new deal. Pain is a very real entity, but I have a choice whether to embrace it as "me" ..... or see it for what it is and detach my identity from it. I

I am not the pain. I am not the depression. Paradoxically, they live with me though ...... I can use them as teachers to keep me awake. . . . conscious. In the present .

Nice reply dude!

 

[online-rider]

Hello all,

I wanted to post a question out there for anyone who has dealt with depression and cycling. I wanted to see if anyone else has suggestions that work for them....that aren't medications.

I had a few good years once I got out of the hospital, but I'm really struggling with training as I should. Like most who have this I struggle with getting the energy and being positive about what I'm doing.

I have a deep respect for the many years in racing represented in this forum. I look forward to your responses.

It sounds like you've been trying too hard to turn pro, as I did. When it comes to training I really think less is more, and when you hang that bike up, or before you go out training, take 10 minutes to do something productive which is totally unrelated to cycling. Good luck.

 

[L'arriviste]

I gave up cycling the moment I realised I wasn't enjoying it anymore. I was actually in a race, struggling to stay with the lead group. That moment, you know, I just came to a stop. I was a kid and worried about appearances, so I feigned sickness.

I was racing at a pretty good level but it was eating up my life and, when I looked around me at all the pros and top amateurs (there were a lot of great guys round my way at that time), I just figured I didn't want it as much as them.

It took me fifteen years to regain interest in cycling and only then after a lot of reflection about my motivation for it.

I wouldn't presume to offer any suggestions for your depression but I think that examining your original passion for cycling - old magazines, videos, swapping 'war stories' - will always do positive and nourishing things for your sporting future anyway.

 

[fatandfast]

I gave up cycling the moment I realised I wasn't enjoying it anymore. I was actually in a race, struggling to stay with the lead group. That moment, you know, I just came to a stop. I was a kid and worried about appearances, so I feigned sickness.

I was racing at a pretty good level but it was eating up my life and, when I looked around me at all the pros and top amateurs (there were a lot of great guys round my way at that time), I just figured I didn't want it as much as them.

It took me fifteen years to regain interest in cycling and only then after a lot of reflection about my motivation for it.

I wouldn't presume to offer any suggestions for your depression but I think that examining your original passion for cycling - old magazines, videos, swapping 'war stories' - will always do positive and nourishing things for your sporting future anyway.

This and the post from hsm genoa are a great reflection on things. I felt lots of guilt about what I put people through while trying to make it. Left people to take care of my house and pets to live the dream. Remembering sitting in a crap apt outside of Antwerp,eating bread and noodles everyday. Cups of coffee as a luxury. I remember returning to the states and being able to go off the front and all the praise afterward. People imagined that I was living the life..reality was I was washing my socks and shorts in leftover bath water. When I swung my leg over a bike after I stopped racing I felt like a kid discovering it for the first time. The best thing to do for depression is omething sustainable..don't rely on the bike when you can't ride your condition will worsen. Don't know if drugs are an answer but using the exercise and positives from racing to cancel something that is eating at you may be a path with few returns. I ahve been crushed by not being able to win after I thought I trained right..Seeing pros that go out year after year without getting a result is hard to understand without thinking of how sad it made me feel. Depression is the single biggest reason that young guns return home after a Euro stint.

 

[bicycles_rule]

I have to do something with this.

Well, I believe i'm kind of a cyclist and i'm kind of unhappy (though by no means clinically depressed, as that is another matter). I don't think cycling contributes to my dissatisfaction with my life. it's one of the few things that do not. I'm not a serious cyclist, although I tried that.

I have attracted criticism since I was born. When I am doing something right, I get criticism for what choices I make in order to get there. there is always something.

If this world would like me a bit more, then the problem would be over.

the obvious thing is: why is this world not nice to me?

i'm not really saying I did not deserve what I got. for me, it's a vicious cycle. Because I get so much criticism, the line that seperates observations and feedback from hurtful criticism shifted. I became thick-skinned as they say. but that meant that I said stuff that hurt others too, because I did not think they would.

This makes it harder to archieve something and I look for quick fixes often that make me forget about my life. sometimes cycling can be just that.

But cycling can also be involved in this. the moment I tried training seriously, to be race-ready, everyone started to cry 'overtraining'. Nobody ever got that stuff thrown at them. but I did. I knew they were wrong. but still i'm afraid of training hard. they were completely immune to my counter-arguments. that just seemed to fuel the fire.

So much for describing the problem. finding an answer? I believe it's in becoming a gcd. if I just agreed with everyone, just repeated what others where saying, then I would no longer be tempting people to 'show me how it's done'. Of course, this goes against my instincts.

a real solution I do not have. as for the 'power of now' approach hinted at here, I'm not sure. I think I tried it. the problem is that the 'real you' might not be a great person at all. or it might. it's a gamble.

 

[bikebike]

Rainbike - I've dealt with clinical depression and racing. In my experience, the two are not compatible for several reasons: (1) clinical depression is debilitating. It uses up an enormous amount of mental energy, and the amount of cortisol flying around in your blood stream, the sleep disturbances, the appetite disturbances all contribute to the drain on your health, your energy, and your wellbeing. (2) Racing is one of those things in which 'loss' is often interpreted as failure. You won't perform well while moderately to severley depressed, and you won't feel good about not performing well. Its a vicious cycle.

You've said your againt medication, but I highly recommend it. If you've had bad side effects before, try another one. Keep trying new ones until you find the one that works for you. Once the worst of my depression was treated, I was able to train again on an SSRI - with no noticable impact on my physiological system. The exercise gave me the seratonin hit, and I just rode to enjoy riding. Very slowly, I started adding training goals.

Hope this helps.

 

[eljimberino]

Do you ever feel happy or not depressed?

 

[Anonymous]

Rainbike - I've dealt with clinical depression and racing. In my experience, the two are not compatible for several reasons: (1) clinical depression is debilitating. It uses up an enormous amount of mental energy, and the amount of cortisol flying around in your blood stream, the sleep disturbances, the appetite disturbances all contribute to the drain on your health, your energy, and your wellbeing. (2) Racing is one of those things in which 'loss' is often interpreted as failure. You won't perform well while moderately to severley depressed, and you won't feel good about not performing well. Its a vicious cycle.

I agree with the above, but on the flip side, social riding, training for your own fitness etc can be a massive boost with mental health problems. ive suffered with anxiety for 18 months which is closely related to depression (there probably were times early in the "illness" when i was clinically depressed as a result). The danger is, you can end up riding too much, riding becomes your comfort blanket, an addiction, and without it you fall back into depression again.

I would certainly agree with taking medication if it is available. I held off with meds for a year, preffering to self medicate with vitamins, supplements etc, till I got myself to 75% of my old self and then accepting medical help, but there is no doubt it does work. Outside of traditional medicine, amino acids, vitamin B, D, and magnesium can be a great help.

Theres no doubt in my mind that there is something about cyclists be it their nature, or disposition that has a common link with mental health problems. There have and continue to be too many instances for it to be co-incidence.

 

[lostintime]

Is man deficient of whatever is in these psychotropic drugs? . . . and what does one learn about themselves from taking them?

Do these drugs heal or cure ..... or create more dependence ?



"Just make it go away" " I just want the pain to go away" . . . . .spoken by all of humanity.


Depression is Universal to man. Rooted in unconsciousness.

-May we all begin to awaken from this unconsciousness-

 

[Greisty]

Cognitive Behavior Therapy

Rainbike,

I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing this difficulty. I work in behavioral health, and have an idea that hasn't been discussed in detail:

Give one of the clinically-proven psychotherapies a try. These include cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, social skills training, mindfulness, and others. If you find the right therapist, you may make headway. But be sure what you're getting is therapy that has been shown to be effective in a randomized, controlled clinical trial. There are many therapists out there who practice therapies that haven't been shown to be effective.

I wish you success getting help and feeling better.

 

[Rainbike]

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who replied and well said lostintime....

I definetly realize it's only me who can fix myself. Which is why I'm "helping myself" reaching out and taking a "team" approach to this. Maybe a cagey veteran can provide me insight.

I am going to take the advice and do a tour. I can't afford Europe but I will take a previous poster suggestion and do a multi-day local. And I'm going to seriously look at my nutrition. Nailing my 3 fruit and veg, no more getting close. I'm not sure what supplements but I'll start asking about that.

I was on medication for years and don't want to go back because of certain side effects...interest in the bedroom...which is terrible.

One of the hardest things is seeing some 19 year old kid do a couple of team rides and rip everyones legs off. It definetly adds to the vicious cycle when I train 15-20 hrs a week, pay a fortune of the best coach around some pot head kid can just crush me. I'm not wanting to be a pro anymore just get out of this crappy CAT. What I really want is for someone to tell what is wrong with my PHISOLOGY as to why I am struggling. Lungs (oxygen uptake), heart, too few capilary beds. I realized that my coach couldn't pin point it so I'm not working with anyone. But I can't really accept the general "genetics" BS. Well what is it about someones genetics that makes them so amazing? If I know this about myself I can attack what's wrong.

Anyways sorry for the long rant. Please keep the suggestions going.

 

[Tapeworm]

Physiological limitations are not BS. There is a limit that even if every single aspect of training was spot on you may still be far short of others or where you think you can be. There is a reason why those that make it to pro or Olympic grade are so few. Sometimes the margins are small, but there are there.

 

[durianrider]

Rainbike - I've dealt with clinical depression and racing. In my experience, the two are not compatible for several reasons: (1) clinical depression is debilitating. It uses up an enormous amount of mental energy, and the amount of cortisol flying around in your blood stream, the sleep disturbances, the appetite disturbances all contribute to the drain on your health, your energy, and your wellbeing. (2) Racing is one of those things in which 'loss' is often interpreted as failure. You won't perform well while moderately to severley depressed, and you won't feel good about not performing well. Its a vicious cycle.

You've said your againt medication, but I highly recommend it. If you've had bad side effects before, try another one. Keep trying new ones until you find the one that works for you. Once the worst of my depression was treated, I was able to train again on an SSRI - with no noticable impact on my physiological system. The exercise gave me the seratonin hit, and I just rode to enjoy riding. Very slowly, I started adding training goals.

Hope this helps.

Taking tabs for depression is a waste of time. I mean come on, using pharmacuticals to increase our serotonin levels when all we have to do is get sufficient carbs each day and things will be ok? YES! its that simple! Go out on a long ride and ride until you bonk. Do you feel happy and wanting to tackle life in the big ring? Of course not. You want to quit, you hate it, you think this is how you will feel forever and many quit cycling all together.

Ive been racing since 97 and seen lots of crew come and go. A common theme is crew trying to cut carb calories to cut weight and then they get depressed 100% of the time and reach for drugs to treat the symptom when they are ignoring the cause. OR they ignorantly undereat carbs and become undercarbed longterm and the body sends signals of depression to let it know it aint happy with the situation.

Ive NEVER met a depressed person that was eating over 10g of carbs per kg of bodyweight per day. EVER. Once we start doing that for a few weeks then we notice profound shifts in mental state. Then we start to hydrate and sleep proper as a result. (cant hydrate/sleep proper when your undercarbed).

Sometimes the solution is so simple people are shocked at the answer and the fact that big pharma is bigger than oil now lets us know we are missing the obvious and need to pay attention to addressing the causes vs treating the symptom.

G When our body is carbed up, hydrated and well slept as a result of sufficient DAILY carb intake then life takes on a whole new level.

http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2004/carbs.html

 

[Rainbike]

Can't outhink this

Well I turned a solid 3 week cycle in December felt good about that accept the fat chick at work decided to come in and give everyone the living hell cold. I was sick for 3 weeks. Jan was shot and I'm struggling again to put the miles in and it's already Feb. No motivation at all just hate the cold and all the rain, trainer is even worse. I feel like such a winer and weakling. I'm really sorry for wasting everyone's time here but it looks like I dropped the ball again.