We all like to joke, but the story of Haimar Zubeldia is actually a sad and dark one.
Once, long ago, there was a young and talented rider named Haimar Zubeldia. In 2000, he showed his promise by finishing second in the Dauphine, joining Hamilton and Armstrong on the podium. Later that year, he rode his first GT, finishing tenth in the Vuelta.
He was an exciting, aggressive, attacking rider. In the 2003 Tour de France, Zubeldia was his usual aggressive self. In stage 8, on the Alpe d'Huez, he led the chase after Vinokourov attacked:
https://youtu.be/1-y38WZAtgc?t=368
Then came the fateful stage 13 to Ax-3 Domaines. Sastre is up the road; behind him is a very select group of Armstrong, Ullrich, Vinokourov, Basso, and...Zubeldia. Then Zubeldia attacks:
https://youtu.be/SJyZ7X_b7Ww?t=2013. Basso is dropped and Armstrong struggles to respond. A couple of minutes later, Zubeldia attacks again:
https://youtu.be/SJyZ7X_b7Ww?t=2123. After this, the attacks keep coming, and eventually Armstrong is dropped. This is the stage where Armstrong almost lost the Tour to Ullrich.
After the Tour, Armstrong, furious with Zubeldia, asks some friends to "talk with" the young rider. Rumour has it that things escalated and Armstrong's friends soon had a dead body on their hands. Even with Armstrong's connections, this was too much. He quickly reached an agreement with Zubeldia's family: the death would be kept secret, but in exchange, Armstrong and the UCI agreed that Zubeldia's name would continue to appear in the results of UCI-sanctioned races, and that Zubeldia's family would receive the prize money earned by the "ghost" rider.
Thus is explained the sad truth behind Zubeldia's frequent top-10 finishes without ever being seen on camera.