Krebs' Free form/Chaos Thread

[ramjambunath]

The Blobfish
This little guy looks more like a cartoon character than a fish. The Blob fish has very few muscles and move very slowly, floating like a jelly fish. To eat, the Blob fish waits on the bottom of the ocean for prey to pass by.

 

[craig1985]

What a moron. Pretty sure that's a contender for Krebs' Darwin Awards.

 

[More Strides than Rides]

Brothers Alphonse, Kenneth, and Mayo Prud’homme were playing with a foot-long toy cannon in Natchitoches, La., in September 1941 when they saw a man peering at them through binoculars from the opposite side of the Cane River. “We just fired a shot at him to see what would happen,” Kenneth remembered later. “He bailed out of the tree and went flying back down the road in a cloud of dust.”

Presently the man returned with infantry. “They started shooting back at us, and when they’d shoot, we’d shoot back.”

This went on for half an hour, escalating gradually. The boys’ father added firecrackers to their arsenal; their opponents set up smoke screens and readied a .155 howitzer. At last an Army officer appeared at their side and said, “Mr. Prud’homme, do you mind calling off your boys? You’re holding up our war.”

The boys, ages 14, 12, and 9, had interrupted war games involving 400,000 troops spread over 3,400 square miles in preparation for America’s entry into World War II. At the sound of the cannon, George S. Patton had stopped his Blue convoy and engaged what he thought was the opposing Red army. His men were firing blanks, but the maneuvers were real.

“That’s my one claim to fame,” Kenneth told an Army magazine writer in 2009. “I defeated General Patton.”

 

[Thomsena]

Qantas Airlines: Repair Division


Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.



P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[Siriuscat]

The moment before, when you realise you will be in a million epic fail pictures.

Andy Schleck's downhill training was going well

 

[ramjambunath]

Qantas Airlines: Repair Division

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

All these got me laughing. Inspired.

Andy Schleck's downhill training was going well

'Downhill MTB has too much downhill.'

 

[ramjambunath]

 

[ramjambunath]

 

[ramjambunath]

 

[ramjambunath]

 

[ramjambunath]

Shackleton keeps on the move

Potty pensioner Edwin Shackleton has powered, glided and roared into the record books after travelling on over 200 modes of transport - aged 84.

The adrenalin-loving granddad has enjoyed the delights of a microlight, hot air balloon, pony and trap, Segway, hovercraft, punt and rickshaw.

Edwin has spent nearly three years notching up the wacky record that has also seen him ride on a tank, a motorised bicycle, yacht, gyroplane and quad bike.

He is now hoping his travel spectacular will get him in the Guinness book of Records.

Edwin - who was an aircraft structural test engineer until his retirement in 1987 - has already made an appearance in the Guiness Book of Records.

While in his 70s he broke the record for flying in the greatest variety of aircraft.

It was following this challenge that his thoughts turned to what he could do next.

He comments: "I was wondering what I could do instead. Then I saw a TV programme where Charlie Boorman went from Ireland to Australia using 100 different types of transport. So I decided to do the same here".

 

[ramjambunath]

Learner driver Wen Le had one 'L' of a time learning how to park during her lesson in Xiaolan, Guangdong province, southern China.

After hitting the accelerator instead of the brake she shot through a wall leaving the car stuck half in and half out of an alley.

"She was slightly hurt but luckily no-one was standing on the other side of the wall when she came through," said a police spokesman.

Wen added: "I don't know what happened. I was parking very carefully and the car just took off."

 

[ramjambunath]

Created by UK-based company Yacht Island Designs, this yacht features its very own portable tropical island. The unusual 295ft ship comes packed with special VIP rooms, arcades, gym, lounges, spas and even a helipad. Meanwhile, the main deck boasts a tropical island theme featuring cabanas, palm trees and even a whole volcano that feeds the swimming pool. And, should guests get tired of the pool the back of the yacht features a retractable beach deck that floats on the sea.

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[Zam_Olyas]

MK Gandhi was quite the party animal in the day.

 

[Black-Balled]

Is it time?

 

[Black-Balled]

yes, in fact.

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[Black-Balled]

 

[krebs303]