If I could go back I would handle quite a few relationships differently and the one with Marco is no different. My fundamental mistake was that while it was fine to be competitive with your rivals on the bike, when you step off the bike we're all humans and we all deserve to be treated with respect. I never switched off and while that killer mentality worked on the bike, it didn't work well when you're having a coffee or having a press conference. That was my mistake.
I don't blame the doping in cycling for his death. I think he was an incredible personality, who was also flawed – like myself. To some extent the doping had made him who he was, but then again we could have all said that. The reality is that the fame and the speed at which he lived life was what killed him. He simply couldn't keep up with it.
Later on, when you get off the bike that's when you need to be careful. Fame is fleeting and life after being at the top is never the same. Pantani suffered greatly. He went from being a god in Italy to being someone who lost so much. People don't look at you the same, after something like that, and you've got to be prepared for the day when you're just a dude walking down the street and no longer the star. I think about that a lot, but he wasn't ready for that and he wasn't ready for what Italy showered him with – both before and after his problems. He was a god to them and it was that pace that ultimately undid him.
How fans should view Pantani nowadays is a complex question, but one that needs a certain level of context and understanding, before reflection. I think that if you watch those performances you should view them with great appreciation and great admiration. When you name all the other winners from those days, all the riders, he was geared up in just the same way and he still ****ing won. That's going to frustrate some people to hear, but you have to remember that he came into a program and that was that. He wasn't going to change the system and everyone in that peloton that he beat played by the same rules.