Official Lance Armstrong Thread **READ POST #1 BEFORE POSTING**

[Anonymous]

Seems the humour police have seen sense.

Wasnt funny, wont be missed.

 

[Alpe d'Huez]

The guy really needs to set up some sort Eastern Bloc host feed, that would solve the entire problem.

God bless the Soviet empire.

 

[blackcat]

Seems the humour police have seen sense.

Wasnt funny, wont be missed.

STFU Dimspace

 

[steelciocc]

Too bad...

I like them and look forward to each installment. Not to fear, I think LA will increasingly continue to be the punchline in many forms of humor...


Add: The creators tweeter indicates he's taking his creatvity to another venue. He also cryptically reveals he holds incriminating evidence. http://twitter.com/#!/FrankieTheThird

 

[D-Queued]

Humour obviously loses something in translation....

Yup.

<Snip to avoid the reference>. This is an official warning, any further such references will be dealth with harshly.

Susan

Looks like the mods will be removing all of the posts about the forcible confinement of Tyler at Cache Cache.

Dave.

 

[Damiano Machiavelli]

What is the story here? Why did they go away?

 

[Elagabalus]

I saw this coming...

Which is why I transcribed the first one.
I thought that had the best dialogue. It resides on another computer but I may post it here later.

Transcribed?! You wrote the dialogue down? If you're using Firefox there's a cool add-on called download helper that enables you to download files (and re-encode them on the fly) from Youtube or any other video site.

No 1 was the best so I took the precaution of downloading it. I can put it up on Megaupload or something.

 

[Dekker_Tifosi]

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[Moose McKnuckles]

I'm with Dim on this one.

 

[Dekker_Tifosi]

ok so you guys have no humor, that's ok.

 

[pedaling squares]

Big yawn followed by a meh. First one was funny, the encore didn't match the opening act. Strikes me as another interesting piece I found on Lance Armstrong, mind you.

 

[Alpe d'Huez]

Transcribed?! You wrote the dialogue down? If you're using Firefox there's a cool add-on called download helper that enables you to download files (and re-encode them on the fly) from Youtube or any other video site..

You can also use SaveVid.com to download any YouTube video.

Seriously, Frankie needs his own little site sitting on some Russian/Kazak/Croat, etc. server. His vids will go viral enough just through sites like this one.

Agree the first few were funny. After that, not so much. A lot of potential in the LA/TH Cache Cache soap opera.

Yes, this thread will likely be merged into the monster thread, so say what you have now before it's devoured!

 

[Mrs John Murphy]

Funny is a relative concept. I'm sure there are people out there who find Michael McIntyre or Dane Cook funny. It's also an age thing, it's not likely to appeal to the more elderly and genteel posters.

Frankie is a hell of a lot more funny than most of the posters who fancy themselves as humourists and wits.

 

[Mambo95]

You can also use SaveVid.com to download any YouTube video.

Can I just say thanks for that. I never knew about it.

(I didn't think they were funny - the few I saw of them)

 

[Granville57]

Yes, this thread will likely be merged into the monster thread, so say what you have now before it's devoured!

Oh, alright. How about this?

Trials of Lance Episode 1: Tour of California Recap
Posted on YouTube by TheThirdFrankie
June 1, 2011


Lance: God damnit Levi, I thought I told you and Horner to soft-pedal on the climb up Mt. Baldy, and at least make it look like it was kind of hard.

Levi: But Lance, we did. I think they gave me my Tour de France transfusion by mistake.

Lance: Are you f'ing kidding me? Is that why you two bobble-heads dropped the rest of the peloton like a bag of rocks and crossed the line like a couple giggling little school girls skipping up the face of the Matterhorn? Jesus Christ, at this point I’m just glad you were both wearing helmets or else it would’ve look liked two shaved testicles T-bagging the sky.

Levi: But it sounded like you were happy with us? You said that we were the “Shack Attack” on your Twitter page.

Lance: STFU up Levi, that is complete bull$%!%. I’ve never been happy in my entire life. There is only room for anger and winning. Plus, you know I only use my Twitter account to patronize and appease my rapidly dwindling base of gullible fans, or to direct passive-aggressive taunts at my enemies. But forget about that and follow me for a minute. I mean c’mon, does it really make sense that you two middle-aged bald f@@ks who are ten years past your prime are able to destroy an entire field of young international and domestic professionals with natural testosterone oozing out of their pores in quantities that would empty an internet pharmacy?

Wait, let me answer for you:
No, it doesn’t make any sense. Don’t you remember the last a-hole who tried to pull that trick?

Levi: Um, you? At last year’s Tour de France?

Lance: Jesus f'ing christ, no. I’m talking about Bjarne Riis at the ’96 Tour when he was lit up like the disco ball in Saturday Night Fever. But who gives a s*** about bike racing? I’m too busy bringing down the national unemployment rate by retaining every lawyer that has ever uttered a single word to a federal judge in a court of law. These a-holes are draining me faster than Dr. Ferrari at a early-spring Canary Island training camp.

So, the last thing that I need are my own teammates drawing more scrutiny from the Feds. Can’t you see my credibility is being shattered like the bottom-bracket on a six-month-old Trek 5200?

Levi: Wait, is that why Floyd was always complaining to Johan about his bike?

Lance: No, he was complaining because he was my number-one prison b!tch. And unlike you, he didn’t like being my number-one prison b!tch.

But you know what? All this talk of Floyd and b!tches is making my recently-normalized blood volume to boil over like the radiator in a ’98 Cadillac de Ville red-lining up in the Grapevine in July.

Now, go get Horner and meet me in my office where we are going to play hammer & nail until you a-holes tell me exactly what you told those MF-ers in the Grand Jury room.

{Levi stares...}

 

[Polish]

STFU Dimspace

Lance says it a bit better......
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.

 

[pedaling squares]

Ha... very good Polish. Dim will like that even better than a middle finger from the Team Shack car.

 

[Anonymous]

Lance says it a bit better......
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.
.

to be honest, im flattered that you would spend a few minutes of your valuable time doing that.

Of course it is offensive and insulting to another forum member which is of course against the forum rules, so has been duly reported.

have a nice day.

 

[Susan Westemeyer]

Everybody want to stop with the personal attacks and sniping?

Please?

Oh, well, why don't we just consider this an official warning: stay on topic, and no more insults.

Susan

 

[dbrmuz]

Even Frankie's twitter page has bit the dust.

 

[Bala Verde]

Palm beach is chiming in

Local cycling community torn over new allegations against Lance Armstrong

Some random quotes from residents:

"It's like finding out Santa Claus doesn't exist," said the West Palm Beach resident.

I'd like to see him beat the allegations. Maybe I've got my head in the sand, but like everyone else, I can't imagine Lance has done something he shouldn't have done."

"There is a point where I would say that anyone who makes it to the elite level is confronted with the reality that (drugs) exist, and faces the option of whether to do it or not. For me the most disappointing aspect is the kids who look up to people like Lance, Barry Bonds and Marion Jones wind up getting the message that if they pursue that dream then they're probably competing against people who are doping. Even if it's not true."

"I'm a fan of my sport and I can't just walk away from it," she said. "I can't not be a fan."

 

[Exroadman24902]

Wonder what the sponsors know about the grand jury investigation? Has the status of the federal investigation been key to this sponsorship extension. Am glad they are staying on. Am sure alll of you are too


http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/8...ioShack-will-continue-for-two-more-years.aspx

 

[Velodude]

Wonder what the sponsors know about the grand jury investigation? Has the status of the federal investigation been key to this sponsorship extension. Am glad they are staying on. Am sure all of you are too


http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/8...ioShack-will-continue-for-two-more-years.aspx

Tiger Woods lost about 20% by endorsements value when he was laid bare by his numerous floozies coming out of the woodwork when each floozy believed they were the sole other woman.

The damage was quick and indefensible but his sponsorships must have considered there was long term value in TW to stand by him to ride out this storm.

Lance Armstrong's position is unproven and it could be years before the matter is finally resolved (BALCO/Bonds ran from 2003 to 2009 then 2011).

Radio Shack could still see some value to them with an association with LA for the next two years as there would not be expected any open trial to be set down within those two years to air his alleged felonies and misdemeanours.

 

[Exroadman24902]

Velodude
Interesting comment from you. It does indeed suggest 1 of 2 things-the grand jury has voted no (it has max another 6 months under normal circumstances) OR the investigation will not reach a conclusion for several years to come, hence it's safe to commit for 2 more years. Radioshack will have lawyers who've given a view on the legal aspect of the feds investigation to Radioshack. It is a vote of confidence in Armstrong, not in Novtisky's investigation. Radioshack is USPS, is Lance Armstrong..so RS is extremely strongly connected to Armstrong and his possible demise if it happens.

 

[D-Queued]

Tiger Woods lost about 20% by endorsements value when he was laid bare by his numerous floozies coming out of the woodwork when each floozy believed they were the sole other woman.

The damage was quick and indefensible but his sponsorships must have considered there was long term value in TW to stand by him to ride out this storm.

Lance Armstrong's position is unproven and it could be years before the matter is finally resolved (BALCO/Bonds ran from 2003 to 2009 then 2011).

Radio Shack could still see some value to them with an association with LA for the next two years as there would not be expected any open trial to be set down within those two years to air his alleged felonies and misdemeanours.

Your point is well taken, but Tiger's experience has actually been quite a bit more drastic.

Tiger Woods Adds First Sponsor Since Scandal

Sponsors including Accenture, AT&T, Gillette and PepsiCo bailed out on Woods costing him an estimated $35 million in annual income.

This week Woods signed his first new deal since the scandal broke...

Now, imagine if Tiger was cheating on the sport instead of on his wife.

Then, imagine if Tiger was cheating on both and on cancer patients. His endorsement value could have been depreciated by another percentage point or two.

Dave.