Shakespeare move over
Act 1: Trek Factory
Trek: Hey Johan, how come your guys are breaking so many of our machines?
JB: Come on, they're TREKS, it's not like we're riding Pinarellos.
Trek: O yeah, fair point, how many more do you need?
Act 2: Training Camp, Bogota, Colombia
JB: Hey Floyd, what are you doing here, you're supposed to be watching Lance's fridge?
Floyd: Johan, I just want to know why I'm still riding last year's machine when Lance has a new one.
JB: Oh, Chris says that riding a heavier bike simulates power training for the mountains.
Floyd: And another thing, why do I have a 105 groupset, I'm sure it was dura ace yesterday.
JB: Look Floyd, don't you think those down-tube levers are kinda cute, and much better for your bike handling skills. No chance of doing an "Andy Schleck" with them.
Act 3: Stage Transfer, Tour de Somewhere Not Very Important
Bus Driver: Ah S__t this bus has broken down.
JB: Oh, sorry about that, I sold the head gasket in the last town we passed through, you know, the one with the pharmacy.
To be continued.