Top Ten excuses Sky will use to fend off doping accusations

[DirtyWorks]

...The claim is that Sky gaining a major advantage over other teams via doping. This is implausible, since the history of doping in cycling has always revealed more or less similar doping among top teams/riders.

Talk about cherry picking. Restating what you refuse to acknowledge. Doping programs don't affect athletes equally.

 

[mastersracer]

Talk about cherry picking. Restating what you refuse to acknowledge. Doping programs don't affect athletes equally.

This was beaten to death in another forum (started by Krebs Cycle, I believe). The published literature suggests individual variability in response is over-stated and outliers (by definition) are exceedingly rare. I don't know that anyone would want to defend the claim that Sky is composed of such outliers.

 

[Moose McKnuckles]

This was beaten to death in another forum (started by Krebs Cycle, I believe). The published literature suggests individual variability in response is over-stated and outliers (by definition) are exceedingly rare. I don't know that anyone would want to defend the claim that Sky is composed of such outliers.

You know what they call it when you have a bunch of outliers clustered together as if somehow related?

Thinking outside the box.

 

[Franklin]

I know this thread is a bit of laugh, maybe even by some self deprecation here given Wiggins' recent comments. But after the trolling is done, has anybody given some thought to what riders would say if they WERE clean and achieved results? It might actually be precisely the same thing that dopers would say to cover up their doping? That's why dopers say it, isn't it?

Finally someone asks. I'll try to be a SKY spokesman and I'm 100% sure they could do a better job than me.

Dear Cycling fans,

We want to comment, appologize and ellaborate on the remarks made by our team captain Bradley Wiggins.

Bradley feels very frustrated that his clean efforts are not trusted and combined with a hard days racing and euphoria he said something he didn't really think through. We hope you understand his position and have compassion on him due to the pressure heaped on him.

As a team we talked about it and came to the realization that Bradley's remarks are unfair. We do understand the suspicions and we will do all we can to allay these fears. We are open to mailed in questions, but we will tackle a few important ones right away:

1. Why did you meet with Aso? *conjecture, but you will get the drift*

Our team is in really great from and we expected questions to appear, so we contacted Aso. We should have been more transparant to the public, but we honestly didn't think of that due to the build up to hte TdF. Here iis what has been spoken "link to legal files and blood files"

2. Why did you hire Leinders?

Leinders is malaligned. He was held responsible for the troubles with MR and he certainly agreed with the ending of his contract. We convinced him that Sky is different and he reluctantly signed on. We have the following measures to stop rogue medics and rogue riders "list of meeasures, links to files".

3. Why did you hire certain riders?

See our reply with Leinders. We talked wth these people and told them Sky will be different. We keep everything in check with our team wide program "links"

4. What is the secret?

Well, we can't tell everything as it is our edge, but we can certainly allay any doping fears. "List of a few credible training innovations AND once again link to anti doping program"

ETC. ETC.

Really it's not so hard to come up with a coherent story, it just takes some balls to be transparent. And as long as they don't I'll keep on kicking against them and the next miracle team.

 

[maxmartin]

1. Innovations in training
2. Weight loss
3. Reconnaissance of the course
4. Training as a team
5. Altitude camps
6. Peaking all season
7. Using a swim coach
8. Other teams “not innovating”
9. Hard work, dedication
10. Other people have never worked towards something in their lives like we have.

didn't LA use all of them before?

 

[Pedaaldanser]

12) We have a deal that ASO doesn't test us for Aicar and you don't.

 

[perico]

1. Innovations in training
2. Weight loss
3. Reconnaissance of the course
4. Training as a team
5. Altitude camps
6. Peaking all season
7. Using a swim coach
8. Other teams “not innovating”
9. Hard work, dedication
10. Other people have never worked towards something in their lives like we have.

1. Sky believes in miracles.

 

[The Valley]

I do not believe that Sky have a doping programme. Dave Brailsford, Bradley Wiggins etc are vehemently anti-doping. I just don't buy the "Sky must be doping" line

 

[jamiephillips]

19, "Believe in Better" (tm)

 

[2008885]

I just don't buy the "Sky must be doping" line

In which case you are most definitely in the wrong shop, and one of the security guards (the Hog, probably) will be along shortly to escort you off the premises.

 

[Lanark]

20. The competition was weak.

We heard that at the Vuelta last year, at Paris-Nice, at the Dauphiné. I can't remember the last time I saw a race that didn't get the complaint that the competition was weak.

 

[maxmartin]

20. The competition was weak.

We heard that at the Vuelta last year, at Paris-Nice, at the Dauphiné. I can't remember the last time I saw a race that didn't get the complaint that the competition was weak.

of course competition was weak, because nobody can compete with W and F when they are in the race.

 

[Bonkstrong]

20. The competition was weak.

We heard that at the Vuelta last year, at Paris-Nice, at the Dauphiné. I can't remember the last time I saw a race that didn't get the complaint that the
competition was weak.

If you look at this year's tour that is in fact very true. Between crashes, injuries, suspensions, the upcoming Olympics and a few other outside influences the opposition just isn't that strong.

Had Wiggins and Froome put times like we've seen into an in-form Contador up the slopes and Canc/Martin in the TT's then I'd be far far more suspicious of the new "UKPS" - I think people are giving them more credit than they deserve at this point in the tour

 

[Cervelo77]

21. We use unicorns in training.

 

[Lanark]

If you look at this year's tour that is in fact very true. Between crashes, injuries, suspensions, the upcoming Olympics and a few other outside influences the opposition just isn't that strong.

There are always crashes, injuries and suspensions. The Olypmics have zero effect on the GC. When Thomas Voeckler finished 4th last year the field was supposed to be weak as well. When Cobo and Froome finished on the podium of the Vuelta it had a weak field. When Hesjedal won the Giro, it had a weak field as well. Either every GT has a weak field, or their just aren't that many favorites left in the first place.

 

[Bicycle tramp]

22. Bilharzia awareness.

 

[on3m@n@rmy]

Pretty sure Sky men's cycling won't be able to use this, but women's teams could use this one offered by US women's football goalie Hope Solo:

I took a medication prescribed by my personal doctor for pre-menstrual purposes that I did not know contained a diuretic.

LINK

 

[Ripper]

Hate hate hate yawn

How about:

11. Everyone else has STOPPED taking gear

??!

d0uche d0uche d0uche (ummm, bag)

Sounds like you hate the critics. Why are you drinking the hatoraide?

 

[Ripper]

Sky failed hard in the classics. Best in rider in the Giro: Uran 7th place. TdS another fail. Vuelta Pais Vasco: Nordhaug 6th place.

I guess when you mean Sky here you really mean Wiggo-Froome-Porte-Rogers.

That would be the Tenerife training camp, wouldn't it?

 

[Ripper]

Banesto was known for their classical dominance.
USPS pulverized the classics.
Saunier Duval had Cobblestones on everyone's mantlepiece.

Oh my, is my sarcasm to thick for you, or are facts really not your thing?

Falken, don't try this, it's rather embarassing, ok?

LMMFAO! Funny stuff

 

[Ripper]

No, but I don't speculate about inner circles, doping programmes or what have you, without some solid proof. What is going on now is just ridiculous.

Actually it would seem that a fair number of folks think the questions are reasonable and so is a measure of doubt.

Hey, if you don't like the opinions, you don't even have to read them,

You f*cking w*nker ... oops, I was channeling Brad. Sorry 'bout that ... HAGD!

 

[Ripper]

I do not believe that Sky have a doping programme. Dave Brailsford, Bradley Wiggins etc are vehemently anti-doping. I just don't buy the "Sky must be doping" line

Is this an attempt at humour?

 

[Ripper]

1. Innovations in training
2. Weight loss
3. Reconnaissance of the course
4. Training as a team
5. Altitude camps
6. Peaking all season
7. Using a swim coach
8. Other teams “not innovating”
9. Hard work, dedication
10. Other people have never worked towards something in their lives like we have.

Fack me, I cannot believe no one has mentioned ...

Marginal gains

... and ...

Living a monk like lifestyle on Tenerife

 

[BroDeal]

Pretty sure Sky men's cycling won't be able to use this, but women's teams could use this one offered by US women's football goalie Hope Solo:
LINK

Don't be so sure. The Schleck sisters already have a link with a gynocology clinic.

 

[blackcat]

great name. daughter of Han