- Feb 25, 2010
- 3,854
- 1
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Havetts said:So thats how you won the CN World Championship, you distracted everyone in the breakaway with your stunning appearance. I'm calling cheats!
Poor us men, we're at a disadvantage.
Not me, I have a Demi-Godlike appearance that baffles the ladies
- May 5, 2010
- 51,640
- 30,188
- 28,180
craig1985 said:
Don't worry, I still think you're awesome
I am!
The Hitch said:Michael or Parulo, cant remember who, said something about a CN meetup maybe 1 day. You in?
Well... I'm not really much for travelling for meetups and stuff. And I've got school... I will however do whatever I can to get to Horsens and watch the last stage of the Giro next year! I just hope I won't have class/exam...
- May 6, 2009
- 8,522
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The Hitch said:
So this isn't you ?
Michael or Parulo, cant remember who, said something about a CN meetup maybe 1 day. You in?
I reckon that would be awesome.
RedheadDane said:I am!
Well... I'm not really much for travelling for meetups and stuff. And I've got school... I will however do whatever I can to get to Horsens and watch the last stage of the Giro next year! I just hope I won't have class/exam...
Cycling and the Giro > study IMO.
- Jul 2, 2009
- 3,406
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- Aug 5, 2010
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its veedeebees idea actually. a CN meat up on the ronde- roubaix week with us watching the race together and riding some of the ronde and roubaix roads during that time. i reckon it would be amazingly awesome, i just need to find a cheap way ti fly may way to belgium taking my bike with me
- May 5, 2010
- 51,640
- 30,188
- 28,180
craig1985 said:
Well... I'm too good a student to skip class too much... if I only have class I might but exams... can't really skip those...
Parrulo said:its veedeebees idea actually. a CN meat up on the ronde- roubaix week with us watching the race together and riding some of the ronde and roubaix roads during that time. i reckon it would be amazingly awesome, i just need to find a cheap way ti fly may way to belgium taking my bike with me
Unfortunately that's school-time for me. And it would be very embarasing to let you guys see what horrible shape I'm in...
- Feb 25, 2010
- 3,854
- 1
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The Hitch said:
So this isn't you ?
Michael or Parulo, cant remember who, said something about a CN meetup maybe 1 day. You in?
That's me, but I was hurting in that pic
Also check out my leg muscles And hell yeah I'm in!
- May 6, 2009
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RedheadDane said:
Invent a fictitious aunt that is rather sick or you ate some dodgy Indian food to get out of doing your exam. And if anybody spots you there, just say it was your identical twin sister (assuming you don't actually have one) that was at the race and not you
- May 5, 2010
- 51,640
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You guys are being a really bad influence!
But honestly... I don't think the changes for me having an exam on May 7 is that big...
But honestly... I don't think the changes for me having an exam on May 7 is that big...
- Feb 15, 2011
- 2,886
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*Disclaimer: Please don’t anyone take this stuff seriously and ban me for it. Because I really hated being banned.*
The dark ages are past us now. Boomcie has been castrated, muzzled and defamed, but his spirit has not been broken.
Our beloved race organizer was shamefully banned for trying to improve the rules of the UCN (Union Cycling News). Yes, his methods were childish. Yes, some of his claims were silly. Yes he did not mean most of the things he said. Yes he was overdoing it massively. But no my friends, he is no evildoer.
Having been confronted with the random manner in which the UCN imposes its rules, he decided to act. He was never going to stand for this injustice and so he came up with a race for every dissident this place has ever seen: “The Tour of Slanders”.
In a “Mission Impossible”-style heist, Boomcie hacked into the UCN’s criminal database and obtained the infamous list of “rider suspensions”. Everyone who had ever featured on this list was allowed to participate in the race.
Despite efforts of the UCN’s queen matriarch, Susan BestRetire (and her loyal minion Martin545784242457574215878788445424448687is) to discourage his idiotic plans, Boomcie persevered and delivered once again.
This race was a true symbol of freedom of speech.
• Wonderlance was allowed to mention Armstrong everywhere.
• Cobblestoned was freely allowed to insult UCN moderators, as obviously they are no better than the rest of us and should not receive preferential treatment.
• Bavarianrider was still spreading lies about Tony Martin’s abilities as a climber. Boomcie felt the urge to ban him for this, but didn’t.
• DAOTEC registered twice for this race (once as Solomono and once as Francesco Del Ponte), but was kindly allowed to participate.
• Brodeal linked another rider to wifebeating and nobody cared. We contacted Brodeal’s own wife for a reaction, but she was too afraid to respond.
• Bennotti69 ignored an instruction by a mod and felt good about it.
• The spammers that Susan refuses to mention by name in the “rider suspension thread” were allowed to make themselves known. Their names were: Kurt, Frank, Hugo, Fritz, Carlos, Miranda and Bernard. They were human, just like the rest of us.
• Many other riders were seen insulting each other and were spending their time improving their English vocabulary without any limitations whatsoever.
• A few riders started this race wearing a troll costume, all in great fun.
• Many outsiders finally realized that getting banned made these riders look more cool and badass. Yes Zam_Olyas, I urge you to apply for a one day ban, just to be part of the club.
THE TOUR OF SLANDERS
Boomcie had not yet given permission to start the race, but nevertheless all riders had already left. Two guys dressed in troll costumes had to give up prematurely. Bavarianrider couldn’t breathe in the costume and lost consciousness after just 1 kilometer. A few minutes later, Ryo Hazuki’s troll costume got caught in his gears. Apparently the costumes had been made in Colombia, a country primarily known for the poor quality of its troll costumes and its worthless cyclists.
The race advanced slowly, and discussions in the peloton had not yet escalated enough for someone to have a go. After 50 kilometers of racing Benotti69 got pretty angry over something stupid and launched a pointless attack. This of course agitated half of the peloton. A group of 8 riders went into the counter attack: Blackcat, Patricknd, Boeing, TheHog, Redtreviso, Sublimit, ChrisE, and Polish. They soon joined Bennotti69 and started bickering over something trivial.
Though the pace in the front group was already pretty embarrassing, the peloton was going even slower. El Pistolet had discovered that members of the Dutch Mafia were getting a preferential treatment from the UCN moderators, some of whom were known members of the Dutch mafia themselves. Nobody argued with Pistolet about this, because it was one of those uncomfortable, sad truths. It did get some people in the peloton thinking about how unbiased the UCN really was.
Boomcie felt that some riders needed a boost and he banned a random Dutch mafia rider (he chose the one with the most offensive avatar) from ever participating in one of his races again. This pleased many riders, notably El Pistolet who even soiled his pants with sticky fluid. Reportedly his coconut energy gel had spilled in his pocket.
While the peloton was rejoicing over the ban of this random member, the front group expanded its lead to over five minutes. This was the sign for Parullo to instruct his domestique c&cfan to reel them back in. C&cfan immediately plugged in his earphones and began playing Radiohead’s Creep on repeat. After 5 kilometers of c&cfan leading the peloton the front group had doubled its lead to more than 10 minutes.
With just 100k to go, Cobblestoned launched an attack from the peloton that separated the men from the boys. A chase group of 10 boys emerged: Cobblestoned, Flicker, DAOTEC, Hrotha, Brodeal, El Pistolet, Thoughtforfood, Parullo, Hugh Janus and The Hitch.
Now, the lead of the front group was dwindling fast and DAOTEC happily served as ardoisier, keeping everyone up to date in their own language, kinda. Meanwhile, the front group had become fragmented as they could not agree on the gender of teenage superstar Justin Bieber. At the same time, some people in the chase group were claiming to be “more badass” than others. Cobblestoned was getting really ****ed off at Hrotha and The Hitch, because he felt like they didn’t serve a long enough ban.
Patricknd and Boeing had now taken the lead (one way or the other), while the rest of the front group had already been swallowed by the chasers. When the two leaders reached the bottom of the Koppenberg, they saw Scott Socal standing on the side of the road with a couple of empty bottles of Kopparberg cider. This funky beverage had a terrible sweet taste, but contained alcohol. Nuff said.
On the Koppenberg, Boeing went solo and raised his middle finger toward some spectators. Boomcie understood the inside joke and chuckled. After all, flipping someone the birth is a bird right. The chase group wasn’t too far behind and reached the top of the Koppenberg only 2 minutes behind Boeing.
The chase group (Cobblestoned, DAOTEC, Hrotha, Brodeal, El Pistolet, Thoughtforfood, Parullo, Hugh Janus, Blackcat, Patricknd, Redtreviso, Sublimit, ChrisE, and Polish and The Hitch) had been without a conflict for over five minutes and most riders were losing interest. The next part of the race was dominated by ScottSocal standing on the side of the road with conveniently named alcoholic beverages:
Haaghoek
Eikenberg
Molenberg
*Now the boring part starts where the winner comes forward*
At the foot of the Muur van Geraardsbergen the chase group finally caught up with Boeing. El Pistolet had it all figured out and was going to do a Cancellaraesque attack on the Kappelmuur but he was dropped by the rest of the group instead. It was all going to have to happen on the Bosberg now.
When the riders reached the foot of the Bosberg, they once again saw Scott standing on the side of the road. This time with a few bottles of Bosbier (seriously, what a hero). On the first gradients, Sublimit launched an attack countered by Cobblestoned and Hrotha. The trio reached the top with about 10 seconds on the rest of the group. In the short descent TFF cleverly bridged the gap and the 4 valiant riders were rapidly heading for the finish line.
The leaders soon reached the final kilometer with about 20 seconds on the chasers. They had all the time in the world to play poker, but TFF decided to shake things up a little. He went like a bullet on the left side of the road and immediately got about five meters on the other 3. It was Sublimit who sensed the danger and launched a counter attack with Hrotha and Cobblestoned glued to his wheel. With just 500 meters to go TFF sat up and he was overhauled by the rest of the group. Hrotha then launched a feint attack and looked over his shoulder on the left, when TFF went for a second time on the right. A moment of hesitation gave TFF a significant lead over the others and he viciously stormed towards the finish line. At 300 meters from the line, Cobblestoned launched his sprint with Hrotha on his wheel. It was going to be close. At the finish line, the 3 riders were so close, that a finish photo was needed to determine the winner.
FINISH PHOTO
*A short note on the podium ceremony: podiumgirl RedheadDane showed up naked and let’s just say we can now safely call her RedhairedDane. It was quite the sight to behold. Thirteen had to match this of course and joined her on the podium in her birthday suit. Just wow.
The dark ages are past us now. Boomcie has been castrated, muzzled and defamed, but his spirit has not been broken.
Our beloved race organizer was shamefully banned for trying to improve the rules of the UCN (Union Cycling News). Yes, his methods were childish. Yes, some of his claims were silly. Yes he did not mean most of the things he said. Yes he was overdoing it massively. But no my friends, he is no evildoer.
Having been confronted with the random manner in which the UCN imposes its rules, he decided to act. He was never going to stand for this injustice and so he came up with a race for every dissident this place has ever seen: “The Tour of Slanders”.
In a “Mission Impossible”-style heist, Boomcie hacked into the UCN’s criminal database and obtained the infamous list of “rider suspensions”. Everyone who had ever featured on this list was allowed to participate in the race.
Despite efforts of the UCN’s queen matriarch, Susan BestRetire (and her loyal minion Martin545784242457574215878788445424448687is) to discourage his idiotic plans, Boomcie persevered and delivered once again.
This race was a true symbol of freedom of speech.
• Wonderlance was allowed to mention Armstrong everywhere.
• Cobblestoned was freely allowed to insult UCN moderators, as obviously they are no better than the rest of us and should not receive preferential treatment.
• Bavarianrider was still spreading lies about Tony Martin’s abilities as a climber. Boomcie felt the urge to ban him for this, but didn’t.
• DAOTEC registered twice for this race (once as Solomono and once as Francesco Del Ponte), but was kindly allowed to participate.
• Brodeal linked another rider to wifebeating and nobody cared. We contacted Brodeal’s own wife for a reaction, but she was too afraid to respond.
• Bennotti69 ignored an instruction by a mod and felt good about it.
• The spammers that Susan refuses to mention by name in the “rider suspension thread” were allowed to make themselves known. Their names were: Kurt, Frank, Hugo, Fritz, Carlos, Miranda and Bernard. They were human, just like the rest of us.
• Many other riders were seen insulting each other and were spending their time improving their English vocabulary without any limitations whatsoever.
• A few riders started this race wearing a troll costume, all in great fun.
• Many outsiders finally realized that getting banned made these riders look more cool and badass. Yes Zam_Olyas, I urge you to apply for a one day ban, just to be part of the club.
THE TOUR OF SLANDERS
Boomcie had not yet given permission to start the race, but nevertheless all riders had already left. Two guys dressed in troll costumes had to give up prematurely. Bavarianrider couldn’t breathe in the costume and lost consciousness after just 1 kilometer. A few minutes later, Ryo Hazuki’s troll costume got caught in his gears. Apparently the costumes had been made in Colombia, a country primarily known for the poor quality of its troll costumes and its worthless cyclists.
The race advanced slowly, and discussions in the peloton had not yet escalated enough for someone to have a go. After 50 kilometers of racing Benotti69 got pretty angry over something stupid and launched a pointless attack. This of course agitated half of the peloton. A group of 8 riders went into the counter attack: Blackcat, Patricknd, Boeing, TheHog, Redtreviso, Sublimit, ChrisE, and Polish. They soon joined Bennotti69 and started bickering over something trivial.
Though the pace in the front group was already pretty embarrassing, the peloton was going even slower. El Pistolet had discovered that members of the Dutch Mafia were getting a preferential treatment from the UCN moderators, some of whom were known members of the Dutch mafia themselves. Nobody argued with Pistolet about this, because it was one of those uncomfortable, sad truths. It did get some people in the peloton thinking about how unbiased the UCN really was.
Boomcie felt that some riders needed a boost and he banned a random Dutch mafia rider (he chose the one with the most offensive avatar) from ever participating in one of his races again. This pleased many riders, notably El Pistolet who even soiled his pants with sticky fluid. Reportedly his coconut energy gel had spilled in his pocket.
While the peloton was rejoicing over the ban of this random member, the front group expanded its lead to over five minutes. This was the sign for Parullo to instruct his domestique c&cfan to reel them back in. C&cfan immediately plugged in his earphones and began playing Radiohead’s Creep on repeat. After 5 kilometers of c&cfan leading the peloton the front group had doubled its lead to more than 10 minutes.
With just 100k to go, Cobblestoned launched an attack from the peloton that separated the men from the boys. A chase group of 10 boys emerged: Cobblestoned, Flicker, DAOTEC, Hrotha, Brodeal, El Pistolet, Thoughtforfood, Parullo, Hugh Janus and The Hitch.
Now, the lead of the front group was dwindling fast and DAOTEC happily served as ardoisier, keeping everyone up to date in their own language, kinda. Meanwhile, the front group had become fragmented as they could not agree on the gender of teenage superstar Justin Bieber. At the same time, some people in the chase group were claiming to be “more badass” than others. Cobblestoned was getting really ****ed off at Hrotha and The Hitch, because he felt like they didn’t serve a long enough ban.
Patricknd and Boeing had now taken the lead (one way or the other), while the rest of the front group had already been swallowed by the chasers. When the two leaders reached the bottom of the Koppenberg, they saw Scott Socal standing on the side of the road with a couple of empty bottles of Kopparberg cider. This funky beverage had a terrible sweet taste, but contained alcohol. Nuff said.
On the Koppenberg, Boeing went solo and raised his middle finger toward some spectators. Boomcie understood the inside joke and chuckled. After all, flipping someone the birth is a bird right. The chase group wasn’t too far behind and reached the top of the Koppenberg only 2 minutes behind Boeing.
The chase group (Cobblestoned, DAOTEC, Hrotha, Brodeal, El Pistolet, Thoughtforfood, Parullo, Hugh Janus, Blackcat, Patricknd, Redtreviso, Sublimit, ChrisE, and Polish and The Hitch) had been without a conflict for over five minutes and most riders were losing interest. The next part of the race was dominated by ScottSocal standing on the side of the road with conveniently named alcoholic beverages:
Haaghoek
Eikenberg
Molenberg
*Now the boring part starts where the winner comes forward*
At the foot of the Muur van Geraardsbergen the chase group finally caught up with Boeing. El Pistolet had it all figured out and was going to do a Cancellaraesque attack on the Kappelmuur but he was dropped by the rest of the group instead. It was all going to have to happen on the Bosberg now.
When the riders reached the foot of the Bosberg, they once again saw Scott standing on the side of the road. This time with a few bottles of Bosbier (seriously, what a hero). On the first gradients, Sublimit launched an attack countered by Cobblestoned and Hrotha. The trio reached the top with about 10 seconds on the rest of the group. In the short descent TFF cleverly bridged the gap and the 4 valiant riders were rapidly heading for the finish line.
The leaders soon reached the final kilometer with about 20 seconds on the chasers. They had all the time in the world to play poker, but TFF decided to shake things up a little. He went like a bullet on the left side of the road and immediately got about five meters on the other 3. It was Sublimit who sensed the danger and launched a counter attack with Hrotha and Cobblestoned glued to his wheel. With just 500 meters to go TFF sat up and he was overhauled by the rest of the group. Hrotha then launched a feint attack and looked over his shoulder on the left, when TFF went for a second time on the right. A moment of hesitation gave TFF a significant lead over the others and he viciously stormed towards the finish line. At 300 meters from the line, Cobblestoned launched his sprint with Hrotha on his wheel. It was going to be close. At the finish line, the 3 riders were so close, that a finish photo was needed to determine the winner.
FINISH PHOTO
*A short note on the podium ceremony: podiumgirl RedheadDane showed up naked and let’s just say we can now safely call her RedhairedDane. It was quite the sight to behold. Thirteen had to match this of course and joined her on the podium in her birthday suit. Just wow.
- May 5, 2010
- 51,640
- 30,188
- 28,180
LoL!!!!
So that was why I didn't participate!
Now you guys... don't get too drooly over thirteen and I.
And that's the most undressed you're ever gonna "see" me!
So that was why I didn't participate!
Now you guys... don't get too drooly over thirteen and I.
And that's the most undressed you're ever gonna "see" me!
- Jun 16, 2009
- 19,654
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- Feb 25, 2010
- 3,854
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- Jun 14, 2010
- 34,930
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- 22,580
boomcie said:
lol still hitting out on Dekker. Nicely done
Parrulo said:its veedeebees idea actually. a CN meat up on the ronde- roubaix week with us watching the race together and riding some of the ronde and roubaix roads during that time. i reckon it would be amazingly awesome, i just need to find a cheap way ti fly may way to belgium taking my bike with me
I was talking about a CN meetup, not a play date between you and MVDB.
- Feb 25, 2010
- 3,854
- 1
- 0
The Hitch said:lol still hitting out on Dekker. Nicely done
I was talking about a CN meetup, not a play date between you and MVDB.
I was talking about a CN meetup week, whilst riding RvV and Roubaix roads
- Feb 20, 2010
- 33,064
- 15,263
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