It's on Timmy
World Championchips road race today.
The Dutch team was expected to crush the race, but it has been decimated because its leader,
Dekker_Tifosi, failed to report his correct whereabouts to doping officials. Reportedly,
Tifosi told his team he was training in Mexico in August while in fact he was in front of his computer crapping all over the Cycling News forums.
We are in the first kilometers of the race and Australia’s
ACF is already trying to break clear from the peloton, this will probably end up in a long, lonesome and totally pointless breakaway from reality again. Germany’s
Bavarianrider is tripping over his own words as usual and brings down half of the peloton.
El Pistolet wasn’t caught in the crash, but stops anyway to take a pee and laugh at the injured people. Meanwhile
ACF’s breakaway has already ended because he didn’t get enough attention from the tv crew. He has abandoned the race, but will no doubt be back next week.
After 40 kilometers a new break is formed consisting of several riders no one has ever heard of:
ramjambunath, antares1, Midnite, dirkprovin and
The other McHoy. This one will probably stay ahead for the next few hours.
Meanwhile the new Dutch hierarchy has become clear. It seems like
Timmy loves Rabo and
theyoungest will be the new leaders of the crippled team.
Havetts and
Thesheep has been fetching the water bottles, while
ak-zaaf, Kwibus and
Moondance are pulling in the front.
This just in: Germany’s
Cobblestoned wasn’t too happy with the status quo in the peloton and has started causing uproar. He has reportedly swung his fist at some riders for unclear reasons.
Ferminal has now intervened and
Cobblestoned was taken out of the race.
Despite the many hiccups in the peloton, the speed never went down and the breakaway has been reeled in with 3 laps to go. We’re seeing a very conservative race.
An elite group of 10 riders has now broken free with 2 laps to go. It is unclear who is in this front group, but we have seen at least one Belgian jersey and a strange jersey with a question mark on it. The rider with the question mark jersey has been identified as
Libertine Seguros and was signaled reading the complete Encyclopaedia Britannica while escaping from the peloton.
According to
Race Radio the following riders are currently in the front:
Hrotha (Spain),
The Hitch (Poland),
Libertine (Unknown),
TLR (the Netherlands),
Ferminal (Australia),
Michielveedeebee (Belgium),
Thirteen (US),
Jamsque (UK),
Parrulo (Portugal).
We are in the final lap now and
Hrotha has placed a subtle attack on the left side of the road. The front group is disorganized. At the foot of the final climb
Hrotha has an advantage of 20 seconds over the the group.
Thirteen is now placing an impressive jump. She only has
Michielveedeebee, Ferminal and
TLR on her wheel; they are all hanging on for dear life.
We are at the top of the hill and the 4 escapees have now caught up with
Hrotha. With only 4 kilometers to go it’s going to be a very exciting finale.
The first one to attack is
Ferminal, he doesn’t have the best sprint and now places a tremendous attack. The others are immediately on his wheel but
Ferminal doesn’t give in and accelerates a second time trying to suffocate the group.
Hrotha pays for his earlier efforts and has to sit up.
Ferminal now looks over his shoulder and sees
TLR sitting comfortably on his wheel. The pace slows down again.
We are entering the last kilometer, with
Hrotha at only 10 seconds and the peloton at 20, anything is possible.
TLR fears the return of
Hrotha and is taking his responsibility pacing the group. With 700 meters to go
Thirteen goes all in and sneaks away on the right side of the road. The others hesitate and for the moment it looks like
Thirteen might take the rainbow home this year. 400 meters to go now and
TLR launches another massive acceleration. He immediately gets a gap on
Ferminal and
Veedeebee has to close the gap himself. Ferminal seems to be having some issues with his gear. With only 150 meters to go
Veedeebee starts sprinting and gets within 10 meters of
Thirteen. He seems to be closing the gap fairly easy but
Thirteen still has something left in the tank and keeps her lead over the talented young Belgian. Impressive win.
1.Thirteen
2. Michielveedeebee
3. TLR