Clinic Bibliography

[blackcat]

1. The Clinic 12:
baptised by JV, apostles of doping. JV is like gentile Jesus at Easter. All 12 could be Judas Iscariot.

2. Wigans:
Sir Bradley Wiggins eponymous nickname of self adoubement occurred in monumental act of #FAIL (sic) when comparison of Man U to Wigan and Sky Procycling the Man U of cycling, and went on to have a dreadful following year.

3. MCE an acronym:
machine calibration error. When JV's riders throw up funny blood parameters, it must be down to MCE

4. crazy adaptive physiology:
a rider transitions to podiums in GTs after never exhibiting such potential. also, see: 5.

5. donkey to racehorse.
see examples: Froome, Leipheimer, Wigans (on the road) see also: 4

6. AICAR and lipotropin.
advanced weightloss methods. quite safe. not carcinogenic

7. JV, JV73.
Jonathan Vaughters, owner (with Doug Ellis and others) and manager of Slipstream, current iteration Garmin

8. Frodo
Cavendish, as baptised by Mrs John Murphy

 

[Avoriaz]

Think you meant Glossary

 

[blackcat]

Think you meant Glossary

$hit, I did too. but it works better with the malapropism. malapropisms are underrated.

 

[Zam_Olyas]

Cleans mean clean.

 

[blackcat]

9. cleans
clean rider, not doping. A mythical rider. There is a zeno's paradox on this myth. This rider is like Middle-Earth and Ea. No one has seen him, but he exists.

10. marginal gains.
Sir Dave Brailford is a genius and the best sports scientist on the planet, 'nuff said

11. empire crew.
jingoistic british 2012 era cycling fans who frankly dont know squat but they know radcliffe and gold medals and suppressing disbelief. with a sprinkling of chariots of fire and muscular christianity

 

[D-Queued]

12. Tranquil (also Tranquillo) - translated literally as "The test result was correct, I look like a doper, I race like a doper, I am a doper, I was doping, and I will continue to dope as long as I participate in this sport"

Dave.

 

[Libertine Seguros]

12. Tranquil (also Tranquillo) - translated literally as "The test result was correct, I look like a doper, I race like a doper, I am a doper, I was doping, and I will continue to dope as long as I participate in this sport"

Dave.

Alternative definition: "I have every faith that my team/lawyers/sport's governing body will prevent me from having to worry about actually being banned"

13. Clentadopucci: a kind of doping Voltron created by Big Doopie in a disastrously misguided attempt at creating a pun name for Alberto Contador, due to being unable to decide between which of three attempted jokes was least amusing, and electing to go for all three simultaneously, rendering the actual rider being referenced unrecognizable.

 

[Bronstein]

14. Tuesday - thehog's favourite day of the week. All major news stories inevitably break on a Tuesday.

 

[D-Queued]

Ok, this thread is way too funny, and has me going now:

15. I Love <doper> and Fairness Fund and similar web sites and hashtags (e.g. #Ilove<doper> - These are web sites and social media references that appear post a doping positive. These are scams purely designed as a popularity campaign to perpetuate a cover-up and blatant falsehood

16. Vanishing Twin and drunken (testosterone producing) mice - the more convoluted and improbable the medical explanation, the better. See also 'snake oil'.

Dave.

Edit to renumber and stay in sequence.

 

[D-Queued]

...

4. crazy adaptive physiology:
a rider transitions to podiums in GTs after never exhibiting such potential. also, see: 5.

...

Or its self-explained acronym: CRAP

Dave.

 

[Bronstein]

17. Pulling a Wiggins (sic) - in the words of BroDeal, 'dope yourself to the moon then coast on the results'.

Example: "Cobo is a master of pulling a Wigans".

See http://forum.cyclingnews.com/showthread.php?t=21464&highlight=Pulling+Wiggins for further details.

 

[D-Queued]

18. Mr. 60% - for the uninitiated, this refers to Bjarne Riis, and obliquely refers to going above and beyond. Original reference, Breaking the Chain by Willy Voet, himself referencing the peloton's nickname for Riis over his supposed hematocrit levels when doping with EPO.

19. The Hog - "", this refers to Johan Bruyneel as allegedly coined by his fellow cyclists regarding his doping intake. This has been adapted/coveted/memorialized by Forum member thehog.

20. Verdruggen - Initially used in other Forums, possible source Lister Farrar, refers to Hein Verbruggen.

21. Nein and Phat - origins here, though I cannot remember the original source. Refers to Hein Verbruggen with his over-emphatic denial of doping by Lance, and Pat McQuaid who doesn't look much like his former self. The two are linked in this phrase as a reference to their consecutive positions as head of the UCI, their consistent and parroting double-speak on dopers, and that Hein more or less appointed Pat violating at least one or two parts of the UCI charter in so doing.

22. HWMNBN - an acronym for He Who Must Not Be Named that has grown into disuse. Code name for Lance Armstrong when moderators here and elsewhere wouldn't allow any discussion that directly referenced the biggest dopie of all time.

Dave.

 

[D-Queued]

23. Yellow Rose - self-described as "Austin's Best Strip Club"

24. Hookers and Blow - Coined here (Brodeal??), alleged common indulgences by certain professional cyclists at #23

Dave.

 

[D-Queued]

25. Tenerife - See also thread. Where one goes, literally as well as figuratively, to dope where it is inconvenient for doping authorities to follow.

26. Bilharzia <please add the various interpretations>. See #16

Dave.

 

[Jack (6 ch)]

27. Kerrison. Hiring a sports scientist from outside cycling to convince the world that cycling practices are outdated and you can succeed through new techniques.

28. Leinders. Hiring a doping doctor but not to run a doping programme. See saddle-sores.

 

[King Of The Wolds]

29. Full *** - Chris Froome's peak form.

 

[King Of The Wolds]

30. Good Post Hog - Congratulations at recycling the same narrative for the nth time.

 

[doperhopper]

31. Omerta - unwritten "no dopetalk" peloton law (sometimes producing rather comical statements like "never seen any signs of doping during my 20+ year career")

32. Cleanest peloton ever - clinical term (usually used to suggest the contrary) based on the plethora of statements appearing year by year (riders, team managers, cycling officials, journalists, etc.) suggesting "cycling is cleaner now"

33. Badzilla - Froome's bilharzia

34. Pulling a Rasmussen - whereabouts violation

 

[doperhopper]

35. Motoman - secret bloodbag delivery during Grand Tours (moto with special cooled cases, used by Lance Armstrong's USPS)

36. Vino option - special option in Clinic polls (usually last one), meant to be extraordinary, not necessarily connected to Alexandre Vinokourov

 

[red_flanders]

30. Good Post Hog - Congratulations at recycling the same narrative for the nth time.

Actually a form of self-congratulations (or aggrandizement) taking the form of quoting one's own post. Sometimes meant to get reaction when one was initially not forthcoming or as a form of "I told you so" after a prediction came true.

 

[zlev11]

37. BikeRetard- a cycling forum hosted on a website known as "BikeRadar" that is populated strictly with Team Sky fanboys who think Contador is Satan.

 

[del1962]

38. I only did it once - Term used by doper often off criminal stock who's hands got caught in the cookie jar and want their fans to think that the rest of their career was clean.

39. We stopped in 2006 The date when all Mericans stopped doping.

 

[The Hitch]

29. Full *** - Chris Froome's peak form.

Actually it's when someone pushes out a performance so high that any semblance of believability in it is destroyed.

 

[Parker]

39. The Asylum. Nickname by which the Clinic is known elsewhere on the internet

40. Omerta. When a rider expresses his own opinion and not that of the poster using it.

41. Troll/Bot. Someone resistant to Groupthink.

42. 'This is not a court of law'. Get of jail free card for people who can't support their opinions.

43. Strawman. A word used to concede an arguement

44. Know. Think

45. Fact. Opinion

 

[sittingbison]

46. Never tested positive the Bart Simpson " no one saw me do it, I didn't do it" defence

47. Not fully the "you are such a silly dilly" defence