The crazy predictions thread

[Dekker_Tifosi]

Don't forget Bauke Mollema wins 5 giri, 7 tours and 4 vueltas plus 3 world championships and 4 times liege-bastogne liege and 3 times amstel, plus 5 times lombardia ofcourse

 

[ak-zaaf]

Don't forget Bauke Mollema wins 5 giri, 7 tours and 4 vueltas plus 3 world championships and 4 times liege-bastogne liege and 3 times amstel, plus 5 times lombardia ofcourse

This is the crazy predictions thread, not the obvious predictions thread one ;p



For me: Dekker wins a GT after his comeback

 

[taiwan]

Not that crazy prediction
Cancellara to win a tour.
More when I can think of them.

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Marianne Vos to realise in 2012 there is literally nothing left for her to win, so she has a sex change, rides at the élite level with the men, wins the cyclo-cross worlds, the worlds, Paris-Roubaix, Gent-Wevelgem and the Amstel Gold Race, then wins the queen stage of the Vuelta just because (s)he can.

 

[Moondance]

Marianne Vos to realise in 2012 there is literally nothing left for her to win, so she has a sex change, rides at the élite level with the men, wins the cyclo-cross worlds, the worlds, Paris-Roubaix, Gent-Wevelgem and the Amstel Gold Race, then wins the queen stage of the Vuelta just because (s)he can.

Wait....? Marianne Vos is female?!?

*runs away from angry mob of women with pitchforks*

 

[Signor Corleone]

Signor Corleone

Raymond Poulidor will come out of retirement to win the 2012 Tour de France
and with it, at last wear the Maillot Jaune, which always eluded him during
his career.

 

[Mellow Velo]

Pat McQuaid resigns as head of the UCI, after an Interpol raid finds $12,000 in a brown envelope taped behind a framed photograph of Lance Armstrong, in McQuaid's office.

"It was in the best interests of our sport. Since we had already cleaned up the sport's doping issues, it was time to deal with the issue of administrative corruption."

Confirms cycling's newly elected supremo.............









.............................................................Johan Bruyneel.

 

[zapata]

This is nothing, crazywise, compared to some of the other lunatic postings on this thread, but: I'm picking Zubeldia for the Vuelta. Probably, with his broken wrist, he doesn't have to spend july towing armstrong around france, and should be nice and rested for it. Always been a solid, but unspectacular rider, maybe this is his year.

 

[Hugo Koblet]

Andy Schleck will never win Tour de France.

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Wait....? Marianne Vos is female?!?

*runs away from angry mob of women with pitchforks*

ooooh, catty.

In response to Marianne's success after changing to a man, Cadel Evans finally realises he'll never win a Grand Tour and decides to change gender too. The newly female Cadelle Evans promptly comes 2nd in the Giro Donne.

 

[Dekker_Tifosi]

He already has the female voice

 

[ferryman]

Gesink will win Vuelta 2010, after crashing out early in the TDF obviously, probably on the cobbles

Seriously. I think Gesink will win the Vuelta within the next 3 years. So there

 

[Cal_Joe]

Kenny van Hummel will win a mountain stage at this year's TdF.

 

[isayic]

He already has the female voice

Yes he has when he gives an interview in italian.

My prediction sounds a bit crazy but could come true: Alberto Contador will win the Dauphiné by accident because he can't get rid of the Yellow Jersey.

 

[Red Lobster]

With Liggett and Sherwin having no credibility following the close of the Landis/Armstrong saga, Schmalz and Shen become the voice of cycling on Versus.

 

[royalpig180]

Valverde returns from his doping ban at the age of 32 and immediately sweeps the Giro, Tour, and Vuelta all in 2012. He then is in the lead of the 2013 giro when he gets caught and passed on the Zoncolan by Mark Cavendish. He retires immediately.

 

[Claudiu]

* Alexsandr Dyachenko becomes world champion, followed by Andrey Zeits, with Yevgeniy Nepomnyachshiy coming in 3rd place to complete a kazakh podium in 2011.

* Alberto Contador goes to Tour of Qinghai Lake instead of TdF in 2012.

* A romanian climber who will ride for Liquigas wins the climber jersey in Il Giro 2013 (lucky year).

* Cycling Club Bourgas invited to La Vuelta 2014.

* Normund Lasis wins 9 stages (and of course the green jersey) in TdF after he is transferred by Cervelo in 2015.

* Betonexpressz team roster in 2016: - 2 x Schleck
- 2 x Guldhammer
- 2 x Velits
- 2 x Sagan
- 15 x south african young hopes discovered by epic scouts.

 

[ingsve]

Philip Lindau will win Amstel Gold Race in 2021.

 

[CycloErgoSum]

Eddy Merckyx drops 80kgs, comes out of retirement and finishes on the podium in the 2012 Tour. Pat McQuaid, from his jail cell in The Hague, proclaims it a victory for clean cycling.

After becoming the world's pariah, Lance Armstrong throws himself into biochemistry studies and actually finds a cure for cancer. He laments he wasted so much time being a dou*che riding a bike.

 

[RedheadDane]

* Betonexpressz team roster in 2016: - 2 x Schleck
- 2 x Guldhammer
- 2 x Velits
- 2 x Sagan - 15 x south african young hopes discovered by epic scouts.

Wow... I didn't even know there were two of those in bold
But... if you're aiming to make a team-bro why not
- 2 x Haedo
- 2 x Efimkin
- 2 x Feilu
?

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Not to mention 2x Gutiérrez Palacios (José Ivan, Caisse d'Epargne, and David, Footon-Servetto)

 

[Martin]

Kenny Van Hummel will win polka-dot jersey in the next five editions of TdF

 

[kjetilraknerud]

Graeme Brown will never finish second in a bunch sprint again.

 

[Claudiu]

- 2 x Haedo
- 2 x Efimkin
- 2 x Feilu
?

Ah, i can't believe i forgot about these...oh, well, i guess my crazy prediction reached the max cap for brother pairs.

 

[RedheadDane]

Ah, i can't believe i forgot about these...oh, well, i guess my crazy prediction reached the max cap for brother pairs.

And then, just to mess with people's minds, it could be 2x Sørensen too! I know they aren't related but everyone seems to think so, and just imagine how many times they'd have to explain that they aren't brothers and that Sørensen is actually a rather common name in Denmark...