Of course, the guys back in the viewing room were a bit stunned at what I'd done. Flabbergasted, really, that I'd do it in a World Cup semi. While I sat there, thinking about it and being asked about it, I kept going back to the fact that, well, at the end of the day, I had been honest with myself. I felt it was time that players made a stand to take back responsibility for the game. I was at ease with that. The more I thought about it, the more settled I became with what I'd done. You did it for the right reasons.
That was on a personal level. But what about my commitment to the team? I couldn't entirely keep a lid on the negative thoughts. If we lose this game, how am I going to feel?
We were 1-34 in the sixth when I came back into the sheds. But suddenly Ricky [Ponting] had scooped one up from Vaas in the next over and we were 2-37 in the seventh. It was the sort of wicket that was difficult to play big shots on. Playing through a ball a bit early encourages it to pop up, and that's how Vaas got Matt Hayden in the 12th. Three for 51.
The nerves were so intense at that point, my self-doubt was mounting. Even if I'd been bowled middle stump, I still would have been kicking myself for having lost control of the game.