the "Bassons Incident"

[180mmCrank]

A customer enters a Forum...

Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this thread what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead thread when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable thread, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Thread! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes thread out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead thread.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That thread is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable thread, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that thread when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this thread wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This thread is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-THREAD!!

 

[180mmCrank]

Sorry I got carried away - I'll delete it later - where is BPC when you need him anyway?

 

[runninboy]

Well hopefully you do have a link for this....lol - good old monty Python.

http://www.mindspring.com/~mfpatton/sketch.htm

http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm

everytome an australian posts i think of the aussie philosophers

http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/bruces.htm

i cant help it, im twisted
http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/australian_table_wines.htm

 

[runninboy]

and speaking of clueless americans i dated a girl in the US when i told her i thought Monty Python was funny she says
"OMG i LOVE him"
sad & true

 

[Dr. Maserati]

and speaking of clueless americans i dated a girl in the US when i told her i thought Monty Python was funny she says
"OMG i LOVE him"
sad & true

The Argument...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM

Four Yorkshireman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

Bruce..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f_p0CgPeyA

Australian Table Wines ...(this is the best I could do on this one)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4GvN4wGUZI

Enjoy......

 

[runninboy]

The Argument...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM

Four Yorkshireman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

Bruce..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f_p0CgPeyA

Australian Table Wines ...(this is the best I could do on this one)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4GvN4wGUZI

Enjoy......

thanks doc!

Every year at TDF time when i hear Phil i remember this sketch & wonder if somewhere there is an island full of Liggetts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn8Pua5rhj4

 

[craig1985]

Lance Armstrong confirmed the incident to the press after the stage. He also said Bassons was 'destroying cycling'. After this incident his own team, including current FDJ D.S. Marc Madiot disowned him and refused to even give him his share of prize-money. He was forced to pull out of the race a few days later after enduring a lot of bullying.

He retired from cycling in his late 20's.

Yep. Marc Madiot, quite the hypocrite.

 

[Mongol_Waaijer]

BPC

Do you never even attempt to read between the lines?

A rider is employed by a French team, trains hard, but struggles for results because he rides clean.

He then moves to a foreign team with a "medical program" and immediately starts riding faster and getting better results.

Does he say:

A - I am using PED's and "Recovery Therapy"

or

B - I never used to train properly.

??


I know a hell of a lot more about cycling than you do, and I tend to file the "I train more" explanation in the same category as the "cadence" excuse.

As soon as the French implemented rules and procedures that made doping extremely difficult and risky the doping teams, and their spiritual leaders Lance and Johan also had to come up with an explanation for the "two speed" peloton. "Lazy French" was the chosen story and it played really well with the Armstrong base who tended to see Armstrongs fraudulent tour wins as some sort of "*** whupping" to the effeminate Frenchies anyway. Add to that a "freedom fries" political element around the Iraq war and the story really stuck in the minds of the ignorant newcomers whose idiocy and naivete is so welcomed by Pat McQuaid and his corporate goons.

Think more. You might like it.

 

[R.0.t.O]

Loving this thread. Especially the American idea that France and Spain are, like, really small and have the same weather everywhere. Girona is in the north of Spain (actually Catalunya), Nice is in the south of France. They both have very similar Mediteranean climates; they both have good transport links; they both have nearby medium mountains for year-round training. Both are close to the big mountains for the summer. Nice is more expensive, but also has far more caché. Anyone that was choosing between the two would choose Nice unless money was the over-riding concern. Even the Balearics aren't really any warmer than the Cote d'Azur over the winter months; people base their training camps there mainly because it's cheap. We went to Alcudia in March, but we'd have all prefered Nice, Cannes or even Corsica if they weren't so much more money.

 

[poupou]

If we compare the results of the better trained Chavanel under a foreign team and his results under the lazy COFIDIS team we have a lot of difficulty to see the progress done with a "better" training!

As we know better or hard training are often linked with doping or better doping methods.

 

[Avoriaz]

There is more sunshine and less rain in Spain for the rest of the year, making it easier to do altitude training. Remember you see France in July for the Tour. If you've ever seen the GC guys doing reconnaissance earlier in the year for the mountain stages it's always p1issing with rain and thick fog. That's why they stay in Spain for most of their work.

Also nearer to their gynaecologist

 

[Avoriaz]

Are you going to correct Scott for saying there is more rain in Spain than in France?

There is, but it falls mainly on the plain

 

[Dude17]

To be fair to Armstrong, it was Hinault who questioned the French riders willingness to train. See: Interview 1 (in French) or Article from Bicycling (English)

A quote from the latter:

"I'm outraged," he says. "It's easier for French riders to say that the others are doped than to go off and train."--Bernard Hinault

From comments I've read from him, he is fairly consistent in these comments.

 

[keen_but_slow]

I was thinking about the rain thing. Maybe Girona is at higher altitude so gets more rain, but not more proportionately for its level above see than Nice. Perhaps someone could do some googling on that.

Dude, you were wrong, drop it, you're starting to look desperate. I've holidayed in Cote d'Azur / Spain / Balaerics at least once most years since I was a kid - it's only 2 hours on a plane from here. There's nothing in it climate-wise between them all, but less of what you might call apres-bike in Spain compared to Nice.

 

[Dr. Maserati]

Why are you saying saying he left for a foreign team becasue he wanted to dope? Where is your evidence for this claim? Back it up.
....

Firstly I didnt say that was the reason - although I did say that they may have a better 'programme' in place.

Patrick Lefevere has a lot history in the sport.
But since you asked so nicely here is a link.

The French have long had a self righteous and nationalistic attitude to the Tour de France, so it's not surprising that people take offense to that. Their training effort has also lacked the intensity of other teams, which must be a cultural thing. Sylvain Chavanel admitted that he only finally trained hard near the end of his time at AG2R-La Mondiale. Armstrong moved to Spain, yes to get away from the French media, but more importantly for the better weather for cycling.

So Roche slags off Chavanel?
Thats fine - but how do you explain your above statement?

Any link to where Chavanel "admitted that he only trained hard near the end of his time with AG2R" (sic)
Any link to support your claim that the French teams "training effort has also lacked the intensity of other teams, which must be a cultural thing"?

 

[Mongol_Waaijer]

Why are you saying saying he left for a foreign team becasue he wanted to dope? Where is your evidence for this claim? Back it up. .

Here's how it works, Ok?

The more succesful the riders on a team are, the better the team does - the more sponsors want to get on board and they more they pay. Hence, the riders earn more.

Now, when doping was rampant in the mid to late 90's some French teams did as much epo as anyone (maybe even more than US Postal in the beginning of the millenium?) and were really succesful. Festina were probably the best team in the world back then.

Now, because French riders are not performing that well right now in general, the sponsors of french teams aren't throwing that much money into the teams, meaning if you are a French rider you probably earn less. (unless you are a French housewives favourite, but even then Moreau has just gone to a Spanish team)

People like to earn money, so some French guys might look at "better prepared" (or for you - harder training) foreign riders on foreign teams who ride faster and earn more money, and maybe think - "I wouldn't mind some more money"

And foreign teams might look at talented French riders and think that such riders, given the right back up and assistance (or for you - actually bothering to train once in a while) might actually be very succesful and offer them a more lucrative contract.

French riders who want to dope need to go to non French teams anyway, as the French scene is so savvy everyone knows who is doing what. Clement L'hotellerie was almost openly suspect and had to ride for Dutch continental teams to get a salary for a reason, you know?

France is the spiritual home of cycling, with great roads, bike friendly people and good weather (in the south all year round). Foreign pros wanted to (and did) live there. Yet I reckon since the laws became stricter you can now count the number of foreign pros who reside in France and take out a French license on one hand. Ask yourself why that is? Global warming?

 

[Oldnell]

Wrong yet again.

Where did I put my ignore button...

You, as well as most of your libellous conspiracy theorists who dominate this forum, do not know what you are talking about, as usual. You never bother to check any of your facts and very recklessly use quotations. I was an airline pilot and captain for over 30 years and did a lot of my flying in Europe. Except for July and August, the weather in Spain is much better than in France. This can easily be confirmed by checking the "climat mondial" records on http://www.meteofrance.fr. I have also lived in France for most of the last 8 years and can confirm that the weather is pretty crappy for most of the year.

 

[Mongol_Waaijer]

By the way:

I heard plenty of evidence that some French riders realised that they actually had to train harder than anyone else as they were competing with less powerful ammunition than their foreign rivals.

Also: look at how many foreign riders left French teams right around the time " longitudinal testing" and the criminalisation of doping was introduced.

I can think of several renowned "hard men" right now. Voigt, O'Grady, Millar, Vinokourov....

 

[Oldnell]

BPC

Do you never even attempt to read between the lines?

A rider is employed by a French team, trains hard, but struggles for results because he rides clean.

He then moves to a foreign team with a "medical program" and immediately starts riding faster and getting better results.

Does he say:

A - I am using PED's and "Recovery Therapy"

or

B - I never used to train properly.

??


I know a hell of a lot more about cycling than you do, and I tend to file the "I train more" explanation in the same category as the "cadence" excuse.

As soon as the French implemented rules and procedures that made doping extremely difficult and risky the doping teams, and their spiritual leaders Lance and Johan also had to come up with an explanation for the "two speed" peloton. "Lazy French" was the chosen story and it played really well with the Armstrong base who tended to see Armstrongs fraudulent tour wins as some sort of "*** whupping" to the effeminate Frenchies anyway. Add to that a "freedom fries" political element around the Iraq war and the story really stuck in the minds of the ignorant newcomers whose idiocy and naivete is so welcomed by Pat McQuaid and his corporate goons.

Think more. You might like it.

I feel sorry for sordid haters like you who do all of their thinking from a much lower part of their anatomy. The venom you spew comes from the same place.

 

[Anonymous]

You, as well as most of your libellous conspiracy theorists who dominate this forum, do not know what you are talking about, as usual. You never bother to check any of your facts and very recklessly use quotations. I was an airline pilot and captain for over 30 years and did a lot of my flying in Europe. Except for July and August, the weather in Spain is much better than in France. This can easily be confirmed by checking the "climat mondial" records on http://www.meteofrance.fr. I have also lived in France for most of the last 8 years and can confirm that the weather is pretty crappy for most of the year.

Read the posts in this thread and possibly some of the other more serious threads in the clinic and then get back to us.

BTW, the idiotic argument was comparing the weather in the cities of Nice and Girona specifically, not France & Spain.

 

[Mongol_Waaijer]

I feel sorry for sordid haters like you who do all of their thinking from a much lower part of their anatomy. The venom you spew comes from the same place.

I suggest you visit the other forums on this site.

This is where the people who know about cycling and maybe even rode a few races hang out.

I rode semi-pro throughout Europe. You were an airline pilot for 30 years, right?

When you come on here with your anger and vitriol you have to understand that you are doing the equivalent of us telling you that flying in a commercial airline is 10x more dangerous than driving a car and dismissing all your rational and evidence based arguments to the contrary as being "libellous nonsense".

 

[Oldnell]

Your attitude reminds me of somebody, oh thats right Pat McQuaid(UCI President) after Paul Kimmage released his book back in 1990 and Hein Verbruggen whenever anybody spoke about doping.

Firstly, this was from a pro rider who was on Festina, who rode with Virenque et al, he undoubtedly doped, he never claimed he was angellic but a lot of the French riders & teams had a mentality change post 98. Didier Rous is another good example. The pros have a good idea of who is doing what so they are not talking out of their ***. Robin never pointed fingers directly at anybody but it is surely easier for pros to notice differences in levels of performance. I for one believe most of the French teams made an effort to clean up their effort post 98.

Of course they may have still been doping but you find me a Fdjeux rider who has tested positive or even been remotley linked to a drugs scandal. For the life of me, I cannot think of one although I acknowledge Jeff D'Hont was at this team once. Likewise, Boguyes Telecom how many guys have they had connected with doping affairs.

Overall, the French teams over the last decade other than Cofidis have had very little connections with drugs or scandals, Not saying they are all clean but why are they rarely linked to anthing when you look at teams like Phonak, Kelme, T-Mobile, Astana, Liberty Seguros.

In 1999, there was a small hope that cycling might clean up its act and the French teams were the first proponents of a cleaner sport, France was the first country to introduce heakth checks and made sports doping illegal punishable by law.

Believe what you want but you will find the majority of cycling fans will agree and have agreed with this view.

Is Cofidis a French team? I seem to recall they have had a few problems along this line.

 

[blackcat]

By the way:

I heard plenty of evidence that some French riders realised that they actually had to train harder than anyone else as they were competing with less powerful ammunition than their foreign rivals.

Also: look at how many foreign riders left French teams right around the time " longitudinal testing" and the criminalisation of doping was introduced.

I can think of several renowned "hard men" right now. Voigt, O'Grady, Millar, Vinokourov....

how many riders lived in Monaco pre- v post?

 

[Mongol_Waaijer]

Is Cofidis a French team? I seem to recall they have had a few problems along this line.

Yep. They had issues before the authorities in France had a crackdown on doping in the sport.

Around that time all the foreign riders in Cofidis *******d off to non French teams and some of the more heavily chemically dependent French riders were busted out of the sport.

It was unfortunate timing for the "compulsory cleaner" French riders that they were being scrutinised at the time when Lance was reaching new heights in dishonest cycling.

The foreign teams had to explain this and the myth of the "lazy frenchman" was born. Muppets everywhere fell for it. Some "ultra muppets" even believe it to this day.

 

[Digger]

You, as well as most of your libellous conspiracy theorists who dominate this forum, do not know what you are talking about, as usual. You never bother to check any of your facts and very recklessly use quotations. I was an airline pilot and captain for over 30 years and did a lot of my flying in Europe. Except for July and August, the weather in Spain is much better than in France. This can easily be confirmed by checking the "climat mondial" records on http://www.meteofrance.fr. I have also lived in France for most of the last 8 years and can confirm that the weather is pretty crappy for most of the year.

Well well well.
The 'argument' was in relation to the 'difference' between Girona and Nice as regards weather. Not about the countries of France and Spain as a whole.
There is very little difference in weather as regards these two places. Between the South of Spain, say Malaga, and the north of France, say Normandy, yes there is a difference.

And your last line is absolute nonsense, as is another one of your posts where you say we're all filled with hate etc etc. Real original.
Did you come up with that all by yourself?