Who is/are your favorite user(s) on this forum?

[Parrulo]

A little try for MSR, here goes:

With April and spring looming it's time for the first Monument of the season, La Primavera, Milano-San Remo.

The favourites for today's race:
Libertine Seguros (Team Enigma) - Very fast finish, but has trouble getting over Capo Berta

El Pistolero (Team Argue) - If he and his teammate D_T don't pull eachother of their bikes he might very well win this

Zamasailo (Team Italy) - This young and promising Italian will have a great team at his disposal with TheoSheva as road captain

Onem@n@rmy (Music Team) - This good climbing sprinter will led a strong team with the ever attacking Michielveedeebee (oh yes, I include myself in my own story ) and the strong Kvinto

Outsiders for victory: TLR - Thirteen - Mewmewmew - Jens Attacks - Boomcie

Great confusion at the start! The banned DAOTEC showed up, demanding that he was allowed to start. The officials Ferminal and Susan Westemeyer pulled him away. He kept screaming in a language unkown to mankind.

Under a bright sun the peloton took of towards San-Remo. After 10 kms Jens_attacks and Thirteen attacked, but the peloton, reminding her impressive victory from a breakaway only a week earlier, did not let them go.

The riders from the Argue Team decided to ride at a frantic pace, but on La Manie team leaders D_T and Pistolero clashed, and started fighting over the outfits the team should wear.

Their race was of course over. Due to the confusion this caused, mewmewmew, TheoSheva and Kvinto got away in the descent. Their lead expanded to 6 minutes until Libertine Seguros got his famous train on the rails.

The leading trio only had half a minute left when they arrived at the Capi.
Kvinto decided that the peloton had come close enough and he accelerated on Mele. Mewmew was the first to react, but the moment she got onto Kvinto's wheels she cramped up. Race over. TheoSheva on the other hand reacted a bit slower and got back to Kvinto. Due to his terrible climbing skills, LS commanded his minions to stop pulling and the lead got up to one minute by the time they had arrived at the bottom of the Cipressa.

Onem@n@rmy sent MichielVeeDeeBee up the road, with Timmy and Thirteen responding his attack. At the top of the Cipressa they had bridged the gap to Kvinto and Theosheva, with the peloton following on a mere 30 seconds. Kvinto gave his last bidon to VeeDeeBee and softpedalled to the finish. TheoSheva tried to go with the new leaders but after being on the front for so long he lacked the strength to react. He let the peloton catch him so the Italian team finally got to work.

VDB, Thirteen and TLR worked together at the front and close to the top of the Poggio Thirteen, who clearly is in Top shape, attacked once again. TLR reacted with VDB in his wheel.

Meanwhile Michele was tearing the peloton apart for team leader Zamasailo and pre-race favourite Libertine Seguros had to let go.

The peloton's deficit was only 15 seconds at the top of the Poggio, thanks to Michele's incredible pull. Thirteen's uncontrolled attacklust got her to fall in the dangerous descent of the Poggio. She escaped unhurt but her chances at victory in La Primavera were gone. At the bottom the gap had extended to 25 second. The Italian team was going full gas to take back Timmy and VeeDeeBee. Zamasailo was last in line with Onem@n@rmy and boomcie in his wheel. When the peloton got as close as 5 seconds Timmy attacked once more. VDB let go, hoping for a better result in RvV 2 weeks later.

Alone, Timmy didn't stand a chance against the Italians.

This Primavera was clearly going to end up in a bunch sprint. Without LS contesting the sprint, this one was everyone's for the taking!
With 500 m to go Zamasailo was getting the perfect lead-out but as this was his first Monument as team leader, the young sprinter succumbed to the stress and went way to early with still 350 m to go.

Onem@n@rmy jumped out of Zama's wheel with 200 m to go and thought he was victorious! Raising his arms into the air, he realised he had just made the biggest mistake a cyclist can make. Cheering too soon.
Parrulo, who clearly survived the hills well(not the expectations!), really came out of nowhere to take the biggest win of his life!


1. Parrulo
2. Onem@n@rmy
3. boomcie

"i can't even express how happy i am about this win" said parrulo after the race "this is my first monument and i am only 21, i never expected to deal with the distance this well. tbh i was expecting to be dropped on the poggio when the pace increased but i managed to stay in the group without many difficulties. after the poggio since i was feeling very well i decided to fight my way into Zamasailo wheel but Onem@n@rmy was much stronger and has much more experience then me so i had no chance and had to settle for Onem@n@rmy wheel. i wasn't feeling all that confident because i am not as fast as them but seems like they were more tired then me after a hard race and with the help of Onem@n@rmy excess of confidence i managed to get the win." when asked about his future the very emotioned(sp?) parrulo with tears in his eyes said " i really like the cobbles which is something that isn't very common in portugal so i will try to see what i can do there"

 

[craig1985]

NEWSFLASH: The Cyclingnews Forum's Doping Index has been leaked. Susan Westemeyer is pulling out all the stops to get it covered up and making every excuse in the book including blaming her cat for making the list up

6-10: Timmy Loves Rabo, Dekker Tifosi, moondance, theyoungest, Angliru, El Pisterlero, Parrulo & Libertine Seguros. (A very Dutch and Spanish feel to the guys who dope in this list)

3-5: Scott So Cal, boomcie, Havetts, zamasailo, Hugh januss, Damiano Machiavelli, The Hitch & Craig1985.

0-2: ACF94, dwlssonic, michielveedeebee, TeamSkyFans on3m@n@rmy, blaxland, Ferminal (Susan probably looked after him being a mod) & justsomeguy.

I haven't been racing much lately

 

[Havetts]

Poor Craig, only Aussie with 3-5 and Im the only Dutchy with 3-5.

 

[Michielveedeebee]

Brilliant, you're finest post ever (and as good as it will ever get).

Why thank you

"i can't even express how happy i am about this win" said parrulo after the race "this is my first monument and i am only 21, i never expected to deal with the distance this well. tbh i was expecting to be dropped on the poggio when the pace increased but i managed to stay in the group without many difficulties. after the poggio since i was feeling very well i decided to fight my way into Zamasailo wheel but Onem@n@rmy was much stronger and has much more experience then me so i had no chance and had to settle for Onem@n@rmy wheel. i wasn't feeling all that confident because i am not as fast as them but seems like they were more tired then me after a hard race and with the help of Onem@n@rmy excess of confidence i managed to get the win." when asked about his future the very emotioned(sp?) parrulo with tears in his eyes said " i really like the cobbles which is something that isn't very common in portugal so i will try to see what i can do there"

meh you're not used to the cobbles yet, maybe in a 'cobble' of years

 

[Libertine Seguros]

NEWSFLASH: The Cyclingnews Forum's Doping Index has been leaked. Susan Westemeyer is pulling out all the stops to get it covered up and making every excuse in the book including blaming her cat for making the list up

6-10: Timmy Loves Rabo, Dekker Tifosi, moondance, theyoungest, Angliru, El Pisterlero, Parrulo & Libertine Seguros. (A very Dutch and Spanish feel to the guys who dope in this list)

3-5: Scott So Cal, boomcie, Havetts, zamasailo, Hugh januss, Damiano Machiavelli, The Hitch & Craig1985.

0-2: ACF94, dwlssonic, michielveedeebee, TeamSkyFans on3m@n@rmy, blaxland, Ferminal (Susan probably looked after him being a mod) & justsomeguy.

You're a 0? Yea, like Chris Horner is.

What am I on? I'm on my bike, training.

On the flats, obviously.

 

[Bala Verde]

Cyclingnews categorically denies to have ever received any brown envelopes.

The new testing software, which has made detection much easier, was paid for from the petty cash account.

As a transparent organization, which has always espoused a strong anti-corruption stance, we do possess the documentation to prove these expenses and - once I find them - they will be released later.

Cyclingnews also abhors the leakage and has initiated an independent investigation into the matter.

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[Parrulo]

meh you're not used to the cobbles yet, maybe in a 'cobble' of years

there are a lot of cobbles and bad roads where i live and i love to ride them. i also ride the woods with a mountain bike with no suspension because i love the feeling of the rough road on the handle bars. there are only 2 terrains where i am the fastest among my friends. descends and bad roads, combine both and i put nearly a minute on a friend of mine who doesn't like neither of those in like 2 or 3 kilometers

 

[Walkman]

Haha, good idea for a thread boomcie! Had more than a few laughs while reading it.

As for my favorite poster I feel obligated to bow down before the great user hrotha! His post are always of very high quality and I really enjoy reading them! We also share a mutual dislike for a coulpe of riders (Valverde amongst others), so that would be my first pick. Heck, I might even befriend the guy after posting this!

Edit: And damn it, I too, would probably buy that book if you ever decides to write it!

Honorable mentions goes to Craig1985. He seems to be a very nice, down to earth kind of guy. Would probably make a fine training buddy.

Furthermore I like to give Bala Verde some credit. If I am not mistaken he has posted some good post that are worth reading. Though it would seem that he has an Valverde avatar...hmm...I not sure how I am suppose to interprete that?! Wait a minute, could I be mixing up Bala Verde with Galic Ho? Damn, I should pay more attention when reading on this forum...perhaps both of them are worthy of being mentioned.

mewmewmew13 and Teamskyfans are also a couple of posters that I appreciate!

 

[mewmewmew13]

Haha, good idea for a thread boomcie! Had more than a few laughs while reading it.

As for my favorite poster I feel obligated to bow down before the great user hrotha! His post are always of very high quality and I really enjoy reading them! We also share a mutual dislike for a coulpe of riders (Valverde amongst others), so that would be my first pick. Heck, I might even befriend the guy after posting this!

Honorable mentions goes to Craig1985. He seems to be a very nice, down to earth kind of guy. Would probably make a fine training buddy.

Furthermore I like to give Bala Verde some credit. If I am not mistaken he has posted some good post that are worth reading. Though it would seem that he has an Valverde avatar...hmm...I not sure how I am suppose to interprete that?! Wait a minute, could I be mixing up Bala Verde with Galic Ho? Damn, I should pay more attention when reading on this forum...perhaps both of them are worthy of being mentioned.

mewmewmew13 and Teamskyfans are also a couple of posters that I appreciate!

Thank you. ...although I didn't fare well on the last attack when my legs cramped up, we cats don't ever make the same mistake twice.
Will double up on my dose of fish oil and make sure my soft food contains plenty of K (potassium).

 

[craig1985]

You're a 0? Yea, like Chris Horner is.

What am I on? I'm on my bike, training.

On the flats, obviously.

How good are you at marshaling your troops in a TTT?

 

[Swede1]

What kind of rider am I?!?

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

What kind of rider am I?!?

to soon to tell.

but probably a domestique for ingsve

stage 3 coming soon, if i can be bothered.

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

Tour of CN
Stage 3

From Website errors thread to member suspensions thread (in the feedback region) the stage is 180km long.

Stage Description:
More or less a flat stage, should be one for the sprinters baring disaster.

Media Outlook:
In overnight news ACF threatened to split from his boomerang team and create an ACF mafia team. Unfortunately rules state teams cannot have one member. Meanwhile blackcat labeled the peloton and public as ignorant for not suggesting he could climb and TT with the best, despite a lack of results in the past.

The Race:
As the stage commenced immediately there was a loan attacker; cobblestoned! Often a confusing rider, Cobblestoned although very aggressive didn’t have any specific strengths. In the past it had been difficult to understand the man on a bike, his choice of gears on specific terrain and his race tactics in general rarely made sense. Much like his interviews, where he was unable to put a sentence together. His tactics possibly a reason he still did not have a professional victory, however this attack appeared promising, cobblestoned had quickly built up an 6 minute lead. The peloton behind seem un-phased; we have our break of the day.

Back in the peloton as they went over the little uncategorized climb it appeared that blackcat had been dropped… with bavarianrider!!! Luckily for blackcat the Bavarian machine time trailed the pair quickly back to the peloton. The peloton was again in a relaxed state, Scottsocal and krebs had even stopped along the road what at first appeared like a nature stop, but rather they just wanted to have a chat with the local women. Susan Westemeyer the race director quickly intervened and demanded the pair get on with the race or risk penalty. Naturally the two shrugged at the threat and continued with what was important. Others in the peloton could be seen having a chat, while swede was seen collecting water bottles for ingsve and other teammates. Back at the front Cobblestoned’s lead was steady @6.30.

CRASH!! HITCH, THEYOUNGEST THEHOG and JOBIWAN all involved. It appears that a spectator – one which looks much like disgraced and banned cyclist wonderlance – was seen pushing a rider in the peloton which led to the pile up. Jobiwan looks badly hurt while The Hitch appears more furious, they are back on their bike but trail the peloton by almost a minute… Drama as it appears logic-is-your-friend of team Belgium and GarlicHo of Team boomerang are pushing the pace on the peloton. Harvetts, Kwibus, and Bala Verde are with THEYOUNGEST however and pushing hard to bridge the gap. Unsurprisingly el pickle has joined in on working at the front of the peloton with a big smile on his face.
Cristian and other Pro-Schleck team members are working with the Dutch while the Hitch surprisingly has no team mates evident. However after many km of chasing it appears the Mafioso and Pro-Schleck team have done enough to make it back the peloton. El pickle can be seen with pure disappointed across his face. As a result of the action in the last 50km cobblestoned lone adventure has come to an end.

Confirmed TheHog has abandoned the race with a broken collarbone. But promises an announcement on the 5th.

With the break caught and just 7km remaining the sprinter teams were starting to fight for position. ACF was working for team boomerang’s sprinter Craig –after Craig publically demanded ACF STFU and work for him - while Libertine’s minions were slowly taking control on the front. Spine Concept was pushing his way through to set barrus up on Libertines wheel while dim and his tea drinking pals were evident in the front also. With just 2km to go Parrulo hit the front for libertine, pushing hard and doing a massive pull… the other teams couldn’t break his momentum. Parrulo of course, unsure of his limitations after winning MSR earlier in the year had an unknown role at the CN tour but hoped for a decent GC, this of course meant nothing to libertine who demanded 110% from the peasants that rode with him. Finally at 500m remaining parrulo pulled off, finishing his massive pull and allowing C&Cfan to come through. C&C was of course libertine’s right hand man, speculated as the greatest lead-out man in the CN peloton. C&C powered on opening up until 200m when finally libertine flew off accelerating at an insane pace; no one stood a chance against the Portuguese bull. As he closed in on the line Libertine knew he had this one in the bag, he cockily rose up from his saddle held his two arms in front of him and displayed a stapler like motion, an obvious stage dedication to his idol and best pal Bob Stapleton. A momentous victory by Libertine, showing that he is one of the quickest men in Tour of CN history... considering this is the first edition, an impressive feat.

Standings
Stage: 1. Libertine 2. Waterloo surprise 3.Barrus 4. Dim 5. Barrus
GC (Purple Jersey): 1. Zamasailo 2. Buffalo Soilder 3. Ingsve 4. Ferminal 5. Alpe' D'Huez
KOM (Polka Dots): 1. Thirteen (11 points) 2. Jens (7 points) 3.Moose McKnucles (5 points)
Sprints (green jersey): 1. Libertine 2. Craig 3. Dim
White Jersey: 1. Zamasailo 2. Spine concept 3. Lupetto
Teams: 1. Mambo Italiano 2. Team Boomerang 3. Mafioso

Future Outlook
Stage 4 sees the peloton hits games/fantasy region where they hit the mountains for the first time, albeit medium mountains.

Stage 5 we see out first MTF finish. Alto de Cycling Bets.
While the riders are preparing themselves for the stage 6 finish atop Monte CQ ranking which averages a grueling 11.1% for 14 difficult kilometers. Carnage is guaranteed.

 

[Libertine Seguros]

How good are you at marshaling your troops in a TTT?

My team's only job is to ride in formation to lead me out, so very.

Look at that. *wipes away tear* it's beautiful...

 

[boomcie]

Perfect way to get up in the morning Timmy, thanks. Lol@ the media outlook.

Can't help but feel disgusted about the way Libertine tries to convert every half decent stage into a sprinter fest. That's no way of promoting pro cycling.

 

[thirteen]

Perfect way to get up in the morning Timmy, thanks. Lol@ the media outlook.

+1

Can't help but feel disgusted about the way Libertine tries to convert every half decent stage into a sprinter fest. That's no way of promoting pro cycling.

i know... it is so dreadfully boring, really! always the same thing and then there are those damned tears! cries if he does, cries if he doesn't, meh

and that stupid celebration has got to go! does Libertine realise how stupi he looks? and, let's get real here: staplers can't hurt people. serious injuries, moments of sheer pain. what kind of example are you setting for the little kids watching? they will staple, staple everywhere, trying to be like the mighty Libertine... not to mention the idiocy of memorialising someone who is alive and kicking -- where is your respect for the dead? bah!

thank goodness these farcical stages are almost over!

bring on the mountains and let the real cycling begin

 

[Michielveedeebee]

Perfect way to get up in the morning Timmy, thanks. Lol@ the media outlook.

Can't help but feel disgusted about the way Libertine tries to convert every half decent stage into a sprinter fest. That's no way of promoting pro cycling.

It is disgusting indeed

 

[Anonymous]

+1


i know... it is so dreadfully boring, really! always the same thing and then there are those damned tears! cries if he does, cries if he doesn't, meh

and that stupid celebration has got to go! does Libertine realise how stupi he looks? and, let's get real here: staplers can't hurt people. serious injuries, moments of sheer pain. what kind of example are you setting for the little kids watching? they will staple, staple everywhere, trying to be like the mighty Libertine... not to mention the idiocy of memorialising someone who is alive and kicking -- where is your respect for the dead? bah!

thank goodness these farcical stages are almost over!

bring on the mountains and let the real cycling begin

hahaha this. libertine gotta be ashamed of himself...glorified sprinter.

 

[Libertine Seguros]

If the organisers will continue to put in these flat stages, I will continue to look for wins. We've had far too much bias against sprinters in recent routes, so I'm just taking back what is rightfully mine. Like Mark Renshaw said, the fans love sprint stages, and would like to see more of them.

 

[AussieGoddess]

If the organisers will continue to put in these flat stages, I will continue to look for wins. We've had far too much bias against sprinters in recent routes, so I'm just taking back what is rightfully mine. Like Mark Renshaw said, the fans love sprint stages, and would like to see more of them.

The organizers appear to have designed this tour just for Libertine!!! I read about the new web server the forum has received ..... another 'donation' for the good of cycling?????

 

[thirteen]

The organizers appear to have designed this tour just for Libertine!!! I read about the new web server the forum has received ..... another 'donation' for the good of cycling?????

another??? simply disgusting.

i say we go all out the first big mountain stage and make sure Libertine misses the time cut -- bwahaha

there will be tears, of course, always tears, but oh the satisfaction!

 

[Michielveedeebee]

another??? simply disgusting.

i say we go all out the first big mountain stage and make sure Libertine misses the time cut -- bwahaha

there will be tears, of course, always tears, but oh the satisfaction!

He'll be fished up and lose some points, not DQed :s

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Yea, I'm calling grupetto and making sure there's enough of us that the organisers wouldn't dare throw us out. I'll even sacrifice some teammates to keep the pace low enough to make sure I make it.

 

[auscyclefan94]

Media Outlook:
In overnight news ACF threatened to split from his boomerang team and create an ACF mafia team. Unfortunately rules state teams cannot have one member. Meanwhile blackcat labeled the peloton and public as ignorant for not suggesting he could climb and TT with the best, despite a lack of results in the past.

The Race:

(snip)
With the break caught and just 7km remaining the sprinter teams were starting to fight for position. ACF was working for team boomerang’s sprinter Craig –after Craig publically demanded ACF STFU and work for him - while Libertine’s minions were slowly taking control on the front. Spine Concept was pushing his way through to set barrus up on Libertines wheel while dim and his tea drinking pals were evident in the front also. With just 2km to go Parrulo hit the front for libertine, pushing hard and doing a massive pull… the other teams couldn’t break his momentum. Parrulo of course, unsure of his limitations after winning MSR earlier in the year had an unknown role at the CN tour but hoped for a decent GC, this of course meant nothing to libertine who demanded 110% from the peasants that rode with him. Finally at 500m remaining parrulo pulled off, finishing his massive pull and allowing C&Cfan to come through. C&C was of course libertine’s right hand man, speculated as the greatest lead-out man in the CN peloton. C&C powered on opening up until 200m when finally libertine flew off accelerating at an insane pace; no one stood a chance against the Portuguese bull. As he closed in on the line Libertine knew he had this one in the bag, he cockily rose up from his saddle held his two arms in front of him and displayed a stapler like motion, an obvious stage dedication to his idol and best pal Bob Stapleton. A momentous victory by Libertine, showing that he is one of the quickest men in Tour of CN history... considering this is the first edition, an impressive feat.

Standings
Stage: 1. Libertine 2. Waterloo surprise 3.Barrus 4. Dim 5. Barrus
GC (Purple Jersey): 1. Zamasailo 2. Buffalo Soilder 3. Ingsve 4. Ferminal 5. Alpe' D'Huez
KOM (Polka Dots): 1. Thirteen (11 points) 2. Jens (7 points) 3.Moose McKnucles (5 points)
Sprints (green jersey): 1. Libertine 2. Craig 3. Dim
White Jersey: 1. Zamasailo 2. Spine concept 3. Lupetto
Teams: 1. Mambo Italiano 2. Team Boomerang 3. Mafioso

Future Outlook
Stage 4 sees the peloton hits games/fantasy region where they hit the mountains for the first time, albeit medium mountains.

Stage 5 we see out first MTF finish. Alto de Cycling Bets.
While the riders are preparing themselves for the stage 6 finish atop Monte CQ ranking which averages a grueling 11.1% for 14 difficult kilometers. Carnage is guaranteed.

The fact that Craig is failing so badly as the team's sprinter and being a snobby sprinter by not letting Team Boomerang's fastest sprinter ACF be the leader, ACF is already on the hunt for a new team next year. Another failure on Craig's behalf. Perfect leadout by ACF.

 

[Havetts]

Perfect way to get up in the morning Timmy, thanks. Lol@ the media outlook.

Can't help but feel disgusted about the way Libertine tries to convert every half decent stage into a sprinter fest. That's no way of promoting pro cycling.

Huge +1. Having a huge smile from ear to ear reading these kind of posts .