Who is/are your favorite user(s) on this forum?

[Parrulo]

seems like team portugal/spain is having an amazing season alreay. 1 monument and the best sprinter in the world is delivering

 

[Havetts]

Can't wait till stage 5 .

 

[jobiwan]

TIMMY!!!!

CRASH!! HITCH, THEYOUNGEST THEHOG and JOBIWAN all involved. It appears that a spectator – one which looks much like disgraced and banned cyclist wonderlance – was seen pushing a rider in the peloton which led to the pile up. Jobiwan looks badly hurt while The Hitch appears more furious, they are back on their bike but trail the peloton by almost a minute… Drama as it appears logic-is-your-friend of team Belgium and GarlicHo of Team boomerang are pushing the pace on the peloton. Harvetts, Kwibus, and Bala Verde are with THEYOUNGEST however and pushing hard to bridge the gap. Unsurprisingly el pickle has joined in on working at the front of the peloton with a big smile on his face.

Puncture in Stage 2, Crash in Stage 3!
What did I ever do to you??

Of course, with all this lost time, I'm sure I'll be let off the front in a future stage!

 

[Anonymous]

Tour of CN
Stage 3

From Website errors thread to member suspensions thread (in the feedback region) the stage is 180km long.

Stage Description:
More or less a flat stage, should be one for the sprinters baring disaster.

Media Outlook:
In overnight news ACF threatened to split from his boomerang team and create an ACF mafia team. Unfortunately rules state teams cannot have one member. Meanwhile blackcat labeled the peloton and public as ignorant for not suggesting he could climb and TT with the best, despite a lack of results in the past.

The Race:
As the stage commenced immediately there was a loan attacker; cobblestoned! Often a confusing rider, Cobblestoned although very aggressive didn’t have any specific strengths. In the past it had been difficult to understand the man on a bike, his choice of gears on specific terrain and his race tactics in general rarely made sense. Much like his interviews, where he was unable to put a sentence together. His tactics possibly a reason he still did not have a professional victory, however this attack appeared promising, cobblestoned had quickly built up an 6 minute lead. The peloton behind seem un-phased; we have our break of the day.

Back in the peloton as they went over the little uncategorized climb it appeared that blackcat had been dropped… with bavarianrider!!! Luckily for blackcat the Bavarian machine time trailed the pair quickly back to the peloton. The peloton was again in a relaxed state, Scottsocal and krebs had even stopped along the road what at first appeared like a nature stop, but rather they just wanted to have a chat with the local women. Susan Westemeyer the race director quickly intervened and demanded the pair get on with the race or risk penalty. Naturally the two shrugged at the threat and continued with what was important. Others in the peloton could be seen having a chat, while swede was seen collecting water bottles for ingsve and other teammates. Back at the front Cobblestoned’s lead was steady @6.30.

CRASH!! HITCH, THEYOUNGEST THEHOG and JOBIWAN all involved. It appears that a spectator – one which looks much like disgraced and banned cyclist wonderlance – was seen pushing a rider in the peloton which led to the pile up. Jobiwan looks badly hurt while The Hitch appears more furious, they are back on their bike but trail the peloton by almost a minute… Drama as it appears logic-is-your-friend of team Belgium and GarlicHo of Team boomerang are pushing the pace on the peloton. Harvetts, Kwibus, and Bala Verde are with THEYOUNGEST however and pushing hard to bridge the gap. Unsurprisingly el pickle has joined in on working at the front of the peloton with a big smile on his face.
Cristian and other Pro-Schleck team members are working with the Dutch while the Hitch surprisingly has no team mates evident. However after many km of chasing it appears the Mafioso and Pro-Schleck team have done enough to make it back the peloton. El pickle can be seen with pure disappointed across his face. As a result of the action in the last 50km cobblestoned lone adventure has come to an end.

Confirmed TheHog has abandoned the race with a broken collarbone. But promises an announcement on the 5th.

With the break caught and just 7km remaining the sprinter teams were starting to fight for position. ACF was working for team boomerang’s sprinter Craig –after Craig publically demanded ACF STFU and work for him - while Libertine’s minions were slowly taking control on the front. Spine Concept was pushing his way through to set barrus up on Libertines wheel while dim and his tea drinking pals were evident in the front also. With just 2km to go Parrulo hit the front for libertine, pushing hard and doing a massive pull… the other teams couldn’t break his momentum. Parrulo of course, unsure of his limitations after winning MSR earlier in the year had an unknown role at the CN tour but hoped for a decent GC, this of course meant nothing to libertine who demanded 110% from the peasants that rode with him. Finally at 500m remaining parrulo pulled off, finishing his massive pull and allowing C&Cfan to come through. C&C was of course libertine’s right hand man, speculated as the greatest lead-out man in the CN peloton. C&C powered on opening up until 200m when finally libertine flew off accelerating at an insane pace; no one stood a chance against the Portuguese bull. As he closed in on the line Libertine knew he had this one in the bag, he cockily rose up from his saddle held his two arms in front of him and displayed a stapler like motion, an obvious stage dedication to his idol and best pal Bob Stapleton. A momentous victory by Libertine, showing that he is one of the quickest men in Tour of CN history... considering this is the first edition, an impressive feat.

Standings
Stage: 1. Libertine 2. Waterloo surprise 3.Barrus 4. Dim 5. Barrus
GC (Purple Jersey): 1. Zamasailo 2. Buffalo Soilder 3. Ingsve 4. Ferminal 5. Alpe' D'Huez
KOM (Polka Dots): 1. Thirteen (11 points) 2. Jens (7 points) 3.Moose McKnucles (5 points)
Sprints (green jersey): 1. Libertine 2. Craig 3. Dim
White Jersey: 1. Zamasailo 2. Spine concept 3. Lupetto
Teams: 1. Mambo Italiano 2. Team Boomerang 3. Mafioso

Future Outlook
Stage 4 sees the peloton hits games/fantasy region where they hit the mountains for the first time, albeit medium mountains.

Stage 5 we see out first MTF finish. Alto de Cycling Bets.
While the riders are preparing themselves for the stage 6 finish atop Monte CQ ranking which averages a grueling 11.1% for 14 difficult kilometers. Carnage is guaranteed.

epic ....i still lead in white jersey and purple jersey, and the team also number but i fear for the coming stages...

 

[thirteen]

epic ....i still lead in white jersey and purple jersey, and the team also number but i fear for the coming stages...

you fear? you fear???

like i think there is any way in hell that i can hold on to the KOM jersey -- ha!

thank god i look lovelier in rainbow

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

TIMMY!!!!
Puncture in Stage 2, Crash in Stage 3!
What did I ever do to you??

Of course, with all this lost time, I'm sure I'll be let off the front in a future stage!

sorry man, just badluck I guess

 

[Swede1]

to soon to tell.

but probably a domestique for ingsve

stage 3 coming soon, if i can be bothered.

Haha sweet!

 

[craig1985]

The fact that Craig is failing so badly as the team's sprinter and being a snobby sprinter by not letting Team Boomerang's fastest sprinter ACF be the leader, ACF is already on the hunt for a new team next year. Another failure on Craig's behalf. Perfect leadout by ACF.

But reports in the Daotec Free Press suggest otherwise. Tell you what ACF, how about I lead out on the next sprint stage and go FTW.

 

[RedheadDane]

Jeeez! I'm glad I'm not in this race!

*Sits down by the route with a nice cup of coffee and a freshly baked chocolate muffin. Watching the guys zoom by*

I really don't know how this thread turned into some virtuel race...

 

[craig1985]

Jeeez! I'm glad I'm not in this race!

*Sits down by the route with a nice cup of coffee and a freshly baked chocolate muffin. Watching the guys zoom by*

I really don't know how this thread turned into some virtuel race...

Team Boomerang could do with more riders...

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Team Boomerang could do with more riders...

You've got sportzchick, AussieGoddess and greenedge to domestique for you, what more do you want?

 

[craig1985]

I thought I would try the BMC trick and sign every rider humanly possible.

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

Jeeez! I'm glad I'm not in this race!

*Sits down by the route with a nice cup of coffee and a freshly baked chocolate muffin. Watching the guys zoom by*

I really don't know how this thread turned into some virtuel race...

Probably my fault . Oh well, it's all in good fun .

Plus, when does a cn thread actually stay on topic

 

[sublimit]

Yea, I'm calling grupetto and making sure there's enough of us that the organisers wouldn't dare throw us out. I'll even sacrifice some teammates to keep the pace low enough to make sure I make it.

Its time we found out your new team for next year. I assume Team Ground will sign you as part of a package of riders(minions) plus a superstar in yourself.

Meanwhile Daotec- Even though having an indefinite world ban is in talks with a major Robot manufacturer as a leading sponsor for his new project pending an appeal to resume his career. His goal Is to ride the Tour of Denmark next year supported by people nobody has any information on.

Links to this story are unavailable at the moment owing to them probably being made up.

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Team Ryobots-Ondope?

 

[sublimit]

Team Ryobots-Ondope?

Indeed. Reports of them holding secret training sessions held in Columbia with local climbers, and then with the usual scenario of Ryo-Bot riders finishing very slowly before passing out with exhaustion.

 

[Ferminal]

Team Boomerang could do with more riders...

It's a little hard when we have people trying to play Team Gadret within us

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

It's a little hard when we have people trying to play Team Gadret within us

As the co=leader for GC at boomerang I would have thought ACF annoying his team mates only benefits you

 

[RedheadDane]

Probably my fault . Oh well, it's all in good fun .

Plus, when does a cn thread actually stay on topic

I dunno...

*Randomly starts handing out musettes which I can't spell to the riders.*

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Indeed. Reports of them holding secret training sessions held in Columbia with local climbers, and then with the usual scenario of Ryo-Bot riders finishing very slowly before passing out with exhaustion.

I always hear big things about their potential and how their South American camps mean they'll stomp everyone in the climbs and actually, their much-maligned ITT and bike handling skills is brilliant, but the reason those skills are much maligned is because they're terrible.

 

[bicing]

Bravo Timmy once again.

bicing is one of those riders who doesn't feature often, but when he hits the kind of territory that he likes (i.e. the games forum) and the roads he knows (i.e. the Alpe d'CQuez and Alto Velogames-iru) he makes his presence known.

bicing tends to make strong appearances early on (top 5 cq in april, top 5 velogames after first few stages), before fading into obscurity (20th cq, +60th velogames). he would like to announce his intention to blow this next stage apart on his home roads... bicing vows to be:
- for the mountains what libertine is for the sprints (dominating)
- for the opposition's legs what dekkerT and ELpickel are for the peloton's ears (pure pain and suffering)
- for those left in the final kilometres what ACF and Daotec off the bike (people you just want to punch)
- for the fans what Timmy is for the sport (legendary)

bicing also promises to donate stage victories to timmy in return for glory.

finally, bicing would like to announce that its sister is with him during the tour, and would be happy if other riders would interested in a special, secret courier service.

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

Bravo Timmy once again.

bicing is one of those riders who doesn't feature often, but when he hits the kind of territory that he likes (i.e. the games forum) and the roads he knows (i.e. the Alpe d'CQuez and Alto Velogames-iru) he makes his presence known.

bicing tends to make strong appearances early on (top 5 cq in april, top 5 velogames after first few stages), before fading into obscurity (20th cq, +60th velogames). he would like to announce his intention to blow this next stage apart on his home roads... bicing vows to be:
- for the mountains what libertine is for the sprints (dominating)
- for the opposition's legs what dekkerT and ELpickel are for the peloton's ears (pure pain and suffering)
- for those left in the final kilometres what ACF and Daotec off the bike (people you just want to punch)
- for the fans what Timmy is for the sport (legendary)

bicing also promises to donate stage victories to timmy in return for glory.

finally, bicing would like to announce that its sister is with him during the tour, and would be happy if other riders would interested in a special, secret courier service.

hilarious

*taps nose*

 

[The Hitch]

Like pieces in Fantasia i will present the background behind this post first, before actually showing it.

I figured id mix a few themes from this thread together.

First is the original favorite poster angle. Im highliting some good stuff from the individual who is to CNF what Contador is to cycling.

Second is my outrage at not having won stages yet.

Mixed in with this is the idea of have nothing to do so might as well kill time, radiating strongly from Timmy, Boomcie and a few others.

Finaly the ammusment of Wonderlance being a) disgraced and b) taking me down.

So i bring you, why Wonderlance would never take me down.

Hitch carrys the hopes and dreams of millions to the startline. They are heavy so he's going slowly at first but he'll get there.

what would you know about Hitch. Nothing thats what. Hitch is a great man bacause he lets us know whats going on with the new Team Hitch through Twitter. I have a commerce degree, so I understand.

People in this forum just want to bag Hitch but I bet they havnt even read his Twitter and therefore dont know how great he is. They dont even think he will win the poster of the year for another seven years.

Twitter

Ok guys I think its time for me to tell you a little story.

When I first got involved in cycling back in 2010 I saw this guy Hitch who was kicking the bums of people from countries that dont really exist (who's really ever been Belgium?) . I was like wow this guy has to be jacking something serious. But then I looked into cycling and saw all these cheaters who have ruined cyclings name, guys like Michael VDB, Timmy Loves Rabo and boomcie. Then I realized that Hitch is doing it clean, he doest want to associate himself with these kind of people. He is better than that, he wants to show all those cancer sufferers that he can defeat cancer and Dutch people without using drugs.

I think ACF has a reel good shot at third but has has to focus as hard *** he can on the wheel in front of him, practically wrap his lips around the hub, dont lose concentration on it for a single second otherwise they will ride away.

He shoudl pick Hitches wheel to follow as then he will get second, if he follows Fermitrong maybe third. But for ACF second is first winner.

What would you know about cycling anyway, you only have 40 posts I have lots more.

I think you have this all wrong.

You are the one who is blind and connot see the truth in the world. You live sheltered in a monastry of your hate, and cannot admire beauty and truth while The Hitch snorts the cocaine of excellence and bangs the hooker of awesomeness.

Ruben is mainlining dope to team Dutchie.

The dirty Portugese cant pay their riders.

Hitchis doing it clean and fighting cancer.

I think we can all see who is best for cycling.

No..

El Pistolero has a history of dumb moves to go against the ancient traditions of cycling which historians date back to at least 1999. Last year he attacked his team leader, this year he attached while havetts whats giving his bike a service.

Hitch gained 5 seconds in about 9kms the means that in 3000 kms he will gain about three hours over zasamilo. Its good to see that the special triaing regime of boning celebrities and charity rides it paying off.

All hail The Hitch.

How do you expect bicing to climb with the best unless the has at least three team mates around him? Seriously.

Draging this thread out again? Still cant get over that Hitch is out there writing stage threads and not wading through The Clinic like your favourite posters?

The Hitch is the team, he can do what he likes.

I like nokia too but those girls dont really look enough like my mother.

Name 3 supporters of clean cycling

I can do that...... The Hitch, Jens Attacks and ummm.....The Hitch.

you are very good argument and I totally agree with your piont. The angry people in this forum are always hating on The Hitch and it makes me so sad. He is just much better trained harder and lost more weight than all those other dirty doper cyclists like Parrulo and jobiwan.

Hitch will be awesome next year and is going to kick the bums of all those dirty drug riders like little Parrulo and MichaelVDB who cant ride without their drugs.

Well, you obviously love cancer.........I think we can all agree on that.

r Jo.

I like your club and i wish to join I have a handbag but am not a lady is this going to be a problem for your oganisation?

The forum is full of people who just want to hate on Hitch, they do not understand all the great things that the graeates poster off all time has done.

He also pulls all the hotest chicks, one day I want to pull a chick. It dosent even bother me if she looks like mom.

Livestrong.

Oporto? I don't know that one, is it in Missouri?

I'm sure he will kick *** anyway. Did you know that Hitch recons stages before the Tour de Hitch? Seriously he rides the whole thing before the race! What a legend.

you haters really have to get over you daddy issues. The guy is a hero, he was the biggest poster on the forum the first 7 times he attempted it. No one else will ever match his record in Pro Posting.

Surely he has earned his rightful place as THE legend of CNF, why would you all now drag his name through the mud.

this thread makes me happy.

Everyone knows the TDCNF IS the hardest race on earth otherwise why would Hitch have chosen to only win it. Craig is obviously off form, he got betten by Libertine.

This is cerncorship! I cannot stang a voilation of my liberty this is unconstitutional!

All I want to do is make things better for people like me and ACF who can recognise that our heros are infallable and good looking as well.

don't read that cr@p, its just a bunch of anti-Polish, hero hating BS. Those guys bang on about the Post per day samples because they are tin-foil hat conspiracy theorists who just handle the fact that their favorite doped up poster- jobiwan, thirteen Timmy Loves Rabo, Red hed dane, Libertine Seguros, Craig couldnt beet a clean Hitch.

you guys must be alergic to winning or something. The Hitch is keeping the sport alive during the August to June period. His threads are probably some of the only attention CNF is getting.

Not to mention the billions of sponsorship dollars he brings in with he superstar personality. Cycling would be dead without Hitch and his money and you know it.

Grow up and love excellence.

.

Hitch posts so much because he is an awesome athlete and is able to write a little bit faster than all the other posters. i know this becasue DAOTEC told me its simple maths people if you write a little bit faster than everone else you will post more . He also told me that Hitch trains everyday and other posters dont do that which is why they take drugs and cheat.

It also doesnt matter if Hitch posts any more because he is doing it to rase awareness of cancer because cancer lovers like Craig, jobiwan and Red Hed Dane are not yet aware enough of cancer.

In answere to you're question I say that he HAS TO FAIL A TEST, just once. The we will have evidence of doping. You can catch Stalone standing at an airport holding 100 doeses of roids but can you say he doped?

No.

You have to test him, they could be for his mum.

The Hitch has to fail a test, just like boomcie and thirteen did.

Havvets clearly doped cos Hitch didnt and Havets thinks Hitch doped and Hitch didnt so therefore Havetts must have doped. I think we can all agree on that.

You guys all must all have really tiny ball to HATE on a man who has done so much for cycling.
.

Hey you guys should be nice to the English speaking riders. They are obviously better as they come from the same country or a similar one than you. English speaking riders would never to drugs or other bad things like kick puppies.

The Hitch is good for cycling because he doesnt engage in all that nasty stuff that riders from countrys that dont speak English come from as well as Thirteen. and he posts lots of threads in cnf so that they will still be able to gain sponsorship races during the August to June period.

The Hitch finished first in the race. Where did you finnish?

The Hitch was the leader, he said so. To deny it is to go against a great champion which is a dishonor to cycling.

zasamilo should have waited. Hitch would have and Hitch knows how to win CNF friends.

Do you hate cancer? I dont think so

We conclude.

This thread is tainted. Only The Hitch will ride out of this thread a hero.

 

[Timmy-loves-Rabo]

He should change his user name to wonderhitch

Hitch your time may come, Monte CQ Ranking is your playground.

 

[Michielveedeebee]

He should change his user name to wonderhitch

Hitch your time may come, Monte CQ Ranking is your playground.

His time will come by winning small sh*t races
And Wonderlance be damned! how dare he call me a doper