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The Cat Thread

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A

Anonymous

Guest
titan_90 said:
We have three Hemingway cats and they are so cool. They could kick some **** in a fight with all those extra claws(I don't believe in de-clawing).
good, its cruel, wrong and not needed (i cant spell unnessawotsit).. glad no vets in the uk will do it.. :D
 
Mar 18, 2009
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I received an email once about a fill-in taster in a chilli competition. It had me laughing so hard. Unfortunately I did not save it, but this one came across my desk recently which was pretty similar, just with curry instead of chilli.

Natal curry contest.

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope
for you. I was crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.


CURRY # 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.


CURRY # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is curry an aphrodisiac?


CURRY # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the
chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me need
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.


CURRY # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *** with a snow cone ice cream.


CURRY # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CURRY # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final ntry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No report.
 
Apr 8, 2009
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Scott SoCal said:
Don't like most cats...




But I think I could be persuaded.
Good post. I am hoping that somehow this thread will merge with the 'Babes on bikes' but I think I may be disappointed. :D
 
Mar 18, 2009
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Susan Westemeyer said:
Don't push the limits, guys.

Susan
OK, more cat content.

"All your tiger cubs are belong to us!"

Check out the size of the paws on those little dudes.

 
elapid said:
I received an email once about a fill-in taster in a chilli competition. It had me laughing so hard. Unfortunately I did not save it, but this one came across my desk recently which was pretty similar, just with curry instead of chilli.

Natal curry contest.

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope
for you. I was crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.


CURRY # 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.


CURRY # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is curry an aphrodisiac?


CURRY # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the
chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me need
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.


CURRY # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *** with a snow cone ice cream.


CURRY # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CURRY # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final ntry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No report.
ok i was laughing out loud!!! and it was good. reminds of a meal i had in san francisco. sichuan food was the culprit. very funny. thanks.:D
 
Apr 12, 2009
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I hate cats, I'm a dog person I have 4 rottweilers, english bulldog and my wife has a Pomeranian.


This is one of my dogs Brax
 
Apr 2, 2009
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One of our daughters moved back into the house with her 3 yr old cat last year. I never liked cats but this one has caught my eye. Very low maintenance, doesn't need to go outside to do her thing, etc.
Dogs were always the home pet until the irish setter died ~16 years ago and we just couldn't get another one, wife gets all teared up over it.
no pics to offer...
 
quadsRme said:
One of our daughters moved back into the house with her 3 yr old cat last year. I never liked cats but this one has caught my eye. Very low maintenance, doesn't need to go outside to do her thing, etc.
Dogs were always the home pet until the irish setter died ~16 years ago and we just couldn't get another one, wife gets all teared up over it.
no pics to offer...
that sounds like my parents. they always had dogs until the last one passed and
they were too grief stricken to get another. then along comes a stray cat, with
kittens out of nowhere. now they have 9, and baby them day and night. not that cats need it, they just like it. my dad is almost 80 and he finds them great fun. so dogs are good, but cats have their charm too.:)
 
Jul 26, 2009
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elapid said:
I received an email once about a fill-in taster in a chilli competition. It had me laughing so hard. Unfortunately I did not save it, but this one came across my desk recently which was pretty similar, just with curry instead of chilli.

Natal curry contest.

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope
for you. I was crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.


CURRY # 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.


CURRY # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is curry an aphrodisiac?


CURRY # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the
chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me need
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.


CURRY # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *** with a snow cone ice cream.


CURRY # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CURRY # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final ntry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No report.
oh my god , that was so funny i cried from laughing so hard........:p
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
franciep10 said:
I hate cats, I'm a dog person I have 4 rottweilers, english bulldog and my wife has a Pomeranian.


This is one of my dogs Brax
Ah Dogs! What's not to love? It's so cute to watch 'em lick their testicles (or testicle as the case may be), go out in the yard to eat some feces then lick the kids in the face. Adorable! Or when they come charging out to try and kill you while you're riding through the peaceful countryside, but I guess that's what Grizzley Bear Spray is made for.
 
Sep 22, 2009
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brewerjeff said:
Ah Dogs! What's not to love? It's so cute to watch 'em lick their testicles (or testicle as the case may be), go out in the yard to eat some feces then lick the kids in the face. Adorable! Or when they come charging out to try and kill you while you're riding through the peaceful countryside, but I guess that's what Grizzley Bear Spray is made for.
At least their feces aren't kept in the house, where they go before they walk on your kitchen counter.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Natasha said:
At least their feces aren't kept in the house, where they go before they walk on your kitchen counter.
No problem! Just get a dog and it'll eat every last turd out of the litter box. Problem solved.

Anyone out there ever ben chased down by a viscious cat while out riding? Ever had a terrifying tabby knock you over? Know anyone who trains their cats to attack cyclists or pedestrians? Just wondering
 
May 26, 2009
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brewerjeff said:
Anyone out there ever ben chased down by a viscious cat while out riding? Ever had a terrifying tabby knock you over? Know anyone who trains their cats to attack cyclists or pedestrians? Just wondering
No, but have been tempted to get some of those Bengal cats next time around. At roughly double the size of a standard domestic cat, hopefully big enough to make the kind of a-holes that enjoy harassing cats think twice.
 
Mar 18, 2009
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yourwelcome said:
No, but have been tempted to get some of those Bengal cats next time around. At roughly double the size of a standard domestic cat, hopefully big enough to make the kind of a-holes that enjoy harassing cats think twice.
Savannahs are larger. They can be twice the size of a Bengal, which can put them at over thirty pounds.



I would not recommend getting a Bengal to most people. Their behavior is very different than a normal domestic cat, and most people are not willing to put up with the various issues that come up. Your house has to be catproofed, and that means putting catproof latches on anything that can be opened (drawers, cabinets, the refrigerator...) and not placing anything on a surface (mantels, window sills, counters...) where it can be knocked on the floor. They can be vocal for very long periods of time. They may bite. You have to be a major "cat person" to put up with their quirks. People buy them, thinking they are getting a gorgeous domestic cat, but find they are a lot more difficult to live with than a normal cat.
 
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